WASHINGTON—Lost amongst the frantic onslaught of deals leading up to today’s NBA trade deadline was the news that retired superstar Gary Payton is now for some inexplicable reason a member of the Washington Wizards. While nobody quite knows when it happened or which team even had the right to trade him, the fact remains that the nine-time All Star who hasn’t played in the league since 2007 will suit up for Wizards in their game against the Heat tomorrow night.
“Don’t get me wrong,” said Wizards GM Ernie Grunfeld, “Gary is a good acquisition. He’s a strong defensive player and can help mentor John Wall at the guard position. It’s just that I don’t have a goddamn clue how we got him. I don’t remember his name coming up in any conversations I’ve had the past few days nor do I recall us giving any players up. Then again, these things can get confusing and tend to happen quickly, so it’s quite possible we made some deal for him. Whatever, it’s not like it makes a huge difference anyways.”
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