'Twas the Night Before Basketbawful Christmas

[Ed. note -- Guest post today from The Other Chris, channeling his inner poet. When your kids are cranky and restless tonight, be sure to read them any story other than this one. They'd be too wired and giddy with anticipation for the Christmas night Frail Blazers/Warriors game to go to sleep otherwise. Merry Christmas everyone! -Dan B.]'Twas the night before Christmas,And all through Eddie's House,Not a player liked Sterling,That cheap racist louse.The stockings were hung way up high by Yinka Dare,Ready for booty from the new CBA, like winnin' the lottery,The out-of-wedlock baby mamma children were snug in their beds,Their daddies caroused strip joints, not a care in their heads,And Craig Sager in a stupid suit, while Jackson and Arenas bust caps,Sternly, anyone who whines this year is rewarded with a slap,When out in Rose Garden there arose such a clatter,It was the sound of Frail Blazers knees, they had collectively shattered!!!Away to the rescue flew D-Wade the F...