What if Kobe Bryant freestyled the hell out of Shaq?

By now, NBA fans will surely have seen Shaq's impromptu "freestyle" that really puts Kobe Bryant on blast. It was harsh, yeah, but did we really expect anything less from Shaq? I mean, this is the same dude that called Erick Dampier a WNBA player and referred to the Sacramento Kings as the "Sacramento Queens". So, really, was that surprising? That's not even considering his complex relationship with Kobe Bryant. But, perhaps more surprisingly (or not), is that we have yet to hear from the Black Mamba. Well, I was on my daily visit to SLAM and Russ Bengston took it upon himself to issue Kobe Bryant's potential rebuttal. This is so cot-damn funny it's should be considered an instant classic. I only wish Kobe would come out and post this sh*t on Youtube. Damn, Russ... You are a god. The following is taken from Russ Bengston's "Pop Goes The Diesel": Your reign on the top was short like leprechauns Sure-thing rings lost to Wallaces and Olajuwons You're a true, what? You're a true blue pr*ck On the outside you're happy, on the inside you're sick Oh, my bad, I forgot, that's just part of your schtick Admit it, you just mad 'cause your career's almost over You're a black hole while I'm still supernova And while we're on the topic of being a star I'll be in Phoenix in February—can I borrow your car? Since I'll be in the game, I won't drive it too far I remember when you had the Reebok Shaqnosis Now you're working on a coronary thrombosis I live in the gym, you've got a body by Hostess Nike makes me shoes and spots, I jump cars for fun Tell you what, I'd rather hang with Jackass than be one You claim to be a player, but I f*cked your wife Yeah, that's just jokes, but—haha—I f*cked your life Wanna go after me for your problems, nah, that's all on you And those big alimony checks—those are all on you too Watch Shaunie stack those chips while you get blue And what's this I hear about how you went after Kareem? You'll never be like him, he was part of a team Forget about Cap, were you even better than Dream? Please explain the MDE with one MVP? That's like calling yourself a forest when you're only one tree Russ had five, Wilt had four, even Moses had three As for the rings, yeah, you wound up with four But the Most Dominant Ever should really have more You weren't the most feared to ever step on the floor Those three titles we won, yeah, I couldn't have done it without you At least I can admit it, how 'bout you, Shaq-Fu? It's always all about you—the big center of attention But you ain't notorious, never had that dimension Coulda stayed in L.A. but you had to have that extension You can score in the paint, can't get it done at the line Say "I hit 'em when it matters" and everything's fine? Those ugly-ass bricks don't take from your shine? Nah, I guess not, but while it may not hurt your fame It's something to consider when you're benched at the end of the game And now new guys are coming through to rip that S off your arm Bad enough you lost your game, now you even lost your charm What ever happened to you, when did you get so bitter? Used to be a champion, now you're a quitter Could have done more in Miami if you only got fitter If you couldn't take the fire, should have stayed out the Heat You're so out of shape you can barely THINK on your feet And they even took your badges, that I'm sorry to hear Because at least then you might have had another career (Read the rest on the site! Thanks!)