Originally posted on Midwest Sports Fans  |  Last updated 12/1/11

ORCHARD PARK, NY - SEPTEMBER 20: Head Coach Raheem Morris of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers watches from the sidelines during the game against the Buffalo Bills at Ralph Wilson Stadium on September 20, 2009 in Orchard Park, New York. The Bills won 33-20. (Photo by Rick Stewart/Getty Images)

Jerod Morris has been benched.

Actually, Jerod Morris has gone Jay Cutler and benched himself. He hasn’t hinted himself as being out for the season (like Jay has), but he has taken his lumps picking games ATS and has called on me to pinch-hit this week.

Cool.

Norman Chad made a living picking NFL games in a syndicated column for years, and used it as a victory lap to celebrate his failed marriages. That was before Norm hit the real bonanza of doing color commentary for televised poker. ‘Ex-Wife’??? I’m still trying to get over ex-girlfriends.

Obviously, Jerod hasn’t seen my record picking pro and college games lately, as I still haven’t figured out that Syracuse football really sucks, almost as much as New Mexico. If a bowl game is really interested in soon-to-be 6-7 UCLA Bruins, then give the fans what they want: Syracuse v. New Mexico.

Just remember (and a warning), these picks are for entertainment purposes only – at least until I finally figure out who Bon Iver is…

A couple of quick things to keep in mind:

  • All times are ET.
  • If you want updated point spread info, or some expert advice as you make your weekly picks, below are a few helpful links.
  • DocSports: Week 13 NFL Odds and Lines

And with all that said, here is your Week 13 Bettor’s Guide, complete with free spread picks for each Week 13 game, as well as the over-under odds for each matchup.

NFL Week 13 Bettor’s Guide Point Spreads – Free Picks ATS – Odds – Over-Unders Philadelphia Eagles at Seattle Seahawks 
  • Eagles-Seahawks Date: Thursday, December 1 at 8:20 PM on NFL Network
  • Eagles-Seahawks Point Spread: Eagles -3
  • Eagles-Seahawks Over-Under Odds: 43.5
  • Eagles-Seahawks Spread Pick: I might actually be in front of a set that has NFL Network this week, and I get this. Well the commentary of Brad Nessler and Mike Mayock BETTER be over the top. Maybe this matchup could inspire a video game called Crappy Birds. But what the ‘Dream Team’ really needs is a defensive coordinator who can close the old philosophies of Jim Johnson. ATS pick – Philadelphia -3
Oakland Raiders at Miami Dolphins  
  • Raiders-Dolphins Date: Sunday, December 4 at 1:00 PM on CBS
  • Raiders-Dolphins Point Spread: Dolphins -3
  • Raiders-Dolphins Over-Under Odds: 43
  • Raiders-Dolphins Spread Pick: I have the Raiders as the #3 seed this week, which would give them home playoff game followed by winnable game in Baltimore in Week 2. That may still be asking too much out of Carson Palmer. Going against the sucker bench and taking the Phins just to piss Drew Lange off. Pick – Miami -3
Carolina Panthers at Tampa Bay Buccaneers   
  • Panthers-Buccaneers Date: Sunday, December 4 at 1:00 PM on FOX
  • Panthers-Buccaneers Point Spread: Buccaneers -3
  • Panthers-Buccaneers Over-Under Odds: 47
  • Panthers-Buccaneers Spread Pick: One of those games that isn’t as bad as you think with Cam Newton on one side and the runaway freight train known as LeGarrette Blount on the other. I don’t like the Bucs here, even at home as their season continues to spiral downward with HC Raheem Morris a likely casualty. PICK – Carolina + 3
Indianapolis Colts at New England Patriots    
  • Colts-Patriots Date: Sunday, December 4 at 1:00 PM on CBS
  • Colts-Patriots Point Spread: Patriots -21
  • Colts-Patriots Over-Under Odds: 48
  • Colts-Patriots Spread Pick: If you are REALLY going for 0-16 immortality, wouldn’t it figure to go with someone who has experience and has been there. Hello Dan Orlovsky, best remembered for stepping out of the end zone in Minneapolis in one of the Detroit Lions few close calls in 2008. No such clutch play needed this week, as the point spread has reached Super Bowl 29 levels, a game the 1994 Niners managed to cover. Pick – New England -21
Atlanta Falcons at Houston Texans     
  • Falcons-Texans Date: Sunday, December 4 at 1:00 PM on FOX
  • Falcons-Texans Point Spread: Falcons -3
  • Falcons-Texans Over-Under Odds: 37
  • Falcons-Texans Spread Pick: Absolutely hilarious when the likes of Peter King and Jim Gray/Phil Simms (on a Westwood One halftime radio piece) both speculate on the Texans getting desperate to the point of giving someone in Kiln, Mississippi a call. Of course Favre was going to come out of retirement to play for the Bears week before that. If God forbid, Aaron Rodgers goes down, I’ll personally slap the first guy on network TV to suggest the Pack would give Brett a call. Favre ‘comeback’ rumors will not stop unless the man is literally six feet under. PICK – Atlanta -3
Tennessee Titans at Buffalo Bills      
  • Titans-Bills Date: Sunday, December 4 at 1:00 PM on CBS
  • Titans-Bills Point Spread: Bills -3
  • Titans-Bills Over-Under Odds: 43
  • Titans-Bills Spread Pick: It took two days, but a Jets player finally played the 9/11 card in regards to Steve Johnson’s bush-league celebration. Actually I won’t be impressed with Stevie until he goes Gus Frerotte head-first into a snowbank. With the Houston Texans hurting, and Chris Johnson’s running game back, the Titans suddenly have a shot to steal the AFC South. I love the Titans as one of my locks as a slight underdog. ATS pick – Tennessee +3
Kansas City Chiefs at Chicago Bears       
  • Chiefs-Bears Date: Sunday, December 4 at 1:00 PM on CBS
  • Chiefs-Bears Point Spread: Bears -7
  • Chiefs-Bears Over-Under Odds: 37.5
  • Chiefs-Bears Spread Pick: I would stay away from this game even if I dared to wager. Bold prediction, Kyle Orton makes his KC debut in a relief role against one of his old teams. Revenge. Pick – Kansas City +7
Denver Broncos at Minnesota Vikings        
  • Broncos-Vikings Date: Sunday, December 4 at 1:00 PM on FOX
  • Broncos-Vikings Point Spread: Vikings -1.5
  • Broncos-Vikings Over-Under Odds: 37.5
  • Broncos-Vikings Spread Pick: In an unprecedented move by the league, this game was outsourced from CBS to FOX after Colts/Pats was flexed out of the SNF slot, which would had just left two games on FOX v. CBS’s seven. Why didn’t NBC just flex the Denver Tebow’s for the final five weeks of the season. As I said in my column the other day, forget about stats and go with the intangibles which will be good enough against the Vikes minus Adrian Peterson. This is another of my locks. PICK – Denver +1.5
New York Jets at Washington Redskins         
  • Jets-Redskins Date: Sunday, December 4 at 1:00 PM on CBS
  • Jets-Redskins Point Spread: Jets -3
  • Jets-Redskins Over-Under Odds: 38.5
  • Jets-Redskins Spread Pick: You know the Jets will be in the playoffs. You can pencil in Jets @ Raiders in NBC’s prime-time Saturday slot for the Wild Card round. This is another of my locks PICK – Jets -3
Cincinnati Bengals at Pittsburgh Steelers          
  • Bengals-Steelers Date: Sunday, December 4 at 1:00 PM on CBS
  • Bengals-Steelers Point Spread: Steelers -7
  • Bengals-Steelers Over-Under Odds: 42.5
  • Bengals-Steelers Spread Pick: With NFL receiving diva’s stepping up their games, Jerome Simpson threw his hat in the ring for Worst Man in the NFL by acting like he had just been shot out of a cannon last week. We see what happens this week when the Steelers hit him in the mouth for real. PICK – Pittsburgh -7
Baltimore Ravens at Cleveland Browns           
  • Ravens-Browns Date: Sunday, December 4 at 4:05 PM on CBS
  • Ravens-Browns Point Spread: Ravens -7
  • Ravens-Browns Over-Under Odds: 38
  • Ravens-Browns Spread Pick: Browns and Broncos are both hard pressed to score 20 points on a weekly basis. Difference is Tebow gets the win, while Colt McCoy doesn’t. Things get really bad for the Cleve Brownies fresh off sacking Alex Smith nine times. PICK – Baltimore –7
Dallas Cowboys at Arizona Cardinals            
  • Cowboys-Cardinals Date: Sunday, December 4 at 4:15 PM on FOX
  • Cowboys-Cardinals Point Spread: Cowboys -4.5
  • Cowboys-Cardinals Over-Under Odds: 45.5
  • Cowboys-Cardinals Spread Pick: TELL ME YOU DIDN’T CARDINALS FAN??? Tell me you didn’t sell you’re tickets to fans wearing blue, did you. Beanie Wells going off for 228 rushing yards is a sign that at least the running game is fixed, but the Cowboys are a slightly stiffer test than the Rams. PICK – Arizona +4 ½
Green Bay Packers at New York Giants             
  • Packers-Giants Date: Sunday, December 4 at 4:15 PM on FOX
  • Packers-Giants Point Spread: Packers -7
  • Packers-Giants Over-Under Odds: 52
  • Packers-Giants Spread Pick: America’s Game of the Week. Everyone knows about the Pack’s 11-0 record, ATS they’re not bad neither at 8-3. After being torn apart by Drew Brees Monday night, logic says that Aaron Rodgers should similarly go nuts. I thought this might be a tough game for GB, but the Giants will be hard pressed to keep pace although very capable with Victor Cruz/Nicks et al. PICK – Green Bay -7
St. Louis Rams at San Francisco 49ers              
  • Rams-49ers Date: Sunday, December 4 at 4:15 PM on FOX
  • Rams-49ers Point Spread: 49ers -14
  • Rams-49ers Over-Under Odds: 38
  • Rams-49ers Spread Pick: Do the Rams have any chance in San Francisco?? As ESPN soccer analyst Steve McManaman would say, ‘THEY HAVE NO SHOT AT WINNING, THEY HONESTLY HAVE ZERO CHANCE!!!’ The Niners get back on course and clinch NFC West. PICK – San Francisco -14
Detroit Lions at New Orleans Saints               
  • Lions-Saints Date: Sunday, December 4 at 8:20 PM on NBC
  • Lions-Saints Point Spread: Saints -9
  • Lions-Saints Over-Under Odds: 54
  • Lions-Saints Spread Pick: Someone on a Milwaukee radio station couldn’t believe it when he turned on the TV and saw Ndamukong Suh pitching Subway. Yeah, he’s had that endorsement for a while now. He and Ryan Howard. Now we know where Ari Kaufman goes for his power lunch. Unless you want to go with the ‘trap game’ theory I can’t see Saints not winning big. PICK – New Orleans -9
Jacksonville Jaguars at San Diego Chargers                
  • Jaguars-Chargers Date: Monday, December 5 at 8:30 PM on ESPN
  • Jaguars-Chargers Point Spread: Chargers -3
  • Jaguars-Chargers Over-Under Odds: 38.5
  • Jaguars-Chargers Spread Pick: Controversial veteran San Diego sportscaster Hacksaw Hamilton will have field day going into this Monday nighter, and he rightfully referred to the Chargers as frauds even when the team was 4-1, and failed to buy the empty rhetoric as the losses mounted and Philip Rivers tried to rationalize with ‘We’re still 4-2, 4-3, 4-4, etc..’ Well how about 4-7 going on 5-11?? There’s a underwater canyon just off La Jolla that runs hundreds of feet deep, and Norv Turner’s boat is sinking rapidly into that abyss, and still hasn’t found rock bottom. PICK – Jacksonville +3
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