Originally written on Rumors and Rants  |  Last updated 9/27/13

The most memorable injuries in sports history are the ones that occurred off the field. Lions receiver Nate Burleson joined that elite category this week when he broke his arm in a car crash that happened as he reached over to grab a pizza that was falling out of the passenger seat. No word on whether he made the catch, but certainly football is more his life calling than pizza delivery. Detroit’s top target not named Calvin Johnson will be out until November. But where does his injury rank among the all-time greats sustained in an off-field incident? You be the judge. Plaxico Burress: The Giants wideout shot himself in the leg while at a nightclub. But it wasn’t the injury that kept him off the field — it was the insult. Burress had to go to jail for illegally carrying the firearm. This story is hard to top, though technically the injury itself did not cost him any playing time. Glenallen Hill: Glenallen Hill is a BAD mofo, as his home run onto the top of a Wrigley Field rooftop once proved. But even the toughest guys have fears. His is spiders, and they once put him on the DL. Sadly, they weren’t even real ones. While he was playing for the Blue Jays, Hill jumped out of bed while having a nightmare about spiders. In his attempt to get away from said spiders, he fell through a glass table. Joel Zumaya: The Tigers relief pitcher missed three games in the 2006 ALCS due to a wrist injury suffered because he was playing too much Guitar Hero. Chris Hanson: As a symbolic gesture, Jaguars coach Jack Del Rio kept an axe and tree stump in Jacksonville’s locker room to encourage his team to “keep chopping the wood.” Perhaps something simpler would have sufficed. Punter Hanson decided one day to literally chop the wood, and ended up getting a piece of his leg instead. He missed six weeks. Clint Barmes: Todd Helton is being feted this week for his role as the greatest Rockie in history, but he once accidentally contributed to wrecking the career of another. Barmes was a promising Rockies rookie in 2005 until he fell down the stairs carrying a package of deer meat given to him by Helton as a gift. He broke his collar bone and missed the rest of the year. Though he is still in the bigs, Barmes has only eclipsed his rookie batting average of .289 one time. Adam Eaton: The Padres pitcher stabbed himself with a knife while opening a DVD in 2001, forcing him to miss a start. The sad thing is no one seems to have bothered finding out what movie it was. Sammy Sosa: In his final season with the Cubs — one which saw the team with a far more loaded lineup than the ’03 edition that finished five outs from a World Series berth — Sosa missed a month when he threw out his back sneezing. Kyle Farnsworth: Sosa’s sneeze wasn’t even the oddest ailment to strike a Cub in 2004. That award goes to Kyle Farnsworth, who went on the DL after kicking a fan. Not a human fan. An electric fan in the runway between the Cubs dugout and the clubhouse. Francisco Rodriguez: K-Rod ended up on the DL after tearing a thumb ligament on his throwing hand after punching his father-in-law. Everyone knows you should punch your father-in-law with your non-throwing hand. Geez. Marty Cordova: The Orioles outfielder had to miss a game after falling asleep in a tanning bed the previous day. Jeff Kent: The Giants second baseman claimed to break his wrist while washing his truck. As it turns out, it actually happened when he was popping wheelies on his motorcycle, which was prohibited in his contract. Amar’e Stoudamire: The Knicks forward punched a glass fire extinguisher case following a playoff loss to the Heat. The extinguisher won.

GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Judge Berman’s one-sentence order repeats Deflategate decision timeline

Ishmael Adams suspended indefinitely following arrest

McNair: Pats caused problem by not cooperating with Deflategate

Browns terminate contract of Phil Taylor

WWE’s “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka charged in 30-year-old murder case

Randall Cobb: ‘I don’t plan on missing a game’

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Ronda Rousey confirms she was supposed to fight Gina Carano

Harbaugh denies using F-word in Jay Gruden exchange

Urban Meyer: Both J.T. Barrett and Cardale Jones will play

Legal expert: NFL's reported offer to Brady 'really ridiculous'

Seguin called out by former Maple Leafs CEO for partying

No suspension for Sarkisian was made in best interest of USC

NFL News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

Underdogs: Hopefuls that can shock in the World Cup

Manfred digs Shoeless Joe a deeper grave

Why Mike Trout ain't right

The Opening Drive: Jamal Anderson warns UM fans before heading to Salt Lake City

Best and worst MLB players in August

RG3 blames intern for liking Instagram post trashing owner

Four most surprising roster cuts from NFL teams

Raiders cut Trent Richardson

Caroline Wozniacki smoking cover of ‘Rhapsody’

Everett Golson named FSU's starting QB

Today's Best Stuff
For Publishers
Company Info
Help
Follow Yardbarker