Falcons Decide Matt Ryan Bad Enough To Start For Them Already

The Atlanta Falcons have announced that Matt Ryan will start the season for them at quarterback, saying he is ready to lead the team to the 4-12 record they all know they are capable of. Ryan first impressed Falcons scouts for his ability to throw a football, something they hadn't seen in all the years with Michael Vick and Joey Harrington. "We're really excited about the possibility of doing something called a "pass" this season," said GM Rich McKay. "I've heard about other teams doing this in the past, and I'm glad we'll finally be able to try it. Apparently, they have even been able to get some touchdowns out of this pass thing, which we only got 2 or 3 times last year, so that will be very cool. We've even had to hire on some more stadium graphics people to work the giant screen. Originally we told them we didn't need graphics designed for things like "First Down", "Touchdown Atlanta", and "Falcons Win!", but now we might actually need them." The Falcons had originally planned on making Ryan sit on the bench and learn from Harrington or one of the other experienced Atlanta QB's on how to properly lose in the NFL. But, after watching him in practice and the preseason, they are confident he can do that job immediately. "When he threw his first interception of the preseason I knew he was going to be our QB," said McKay. "It was an NFL level interception, this kid is ready to do it when it counts."