Larry Johnson Improves Amateur Boxing Record Against Women To 5-0

Kansas City Chiefs runningback Larry Johnson improved his amateur boxing record to 5-0 Tuesday with a surprise knockout of a woman at a Kansas City nightclub. This has prompted the Chiefs to suspend him from the team following an investigation. The victory proves once again just how dominant Johnson is proving in the amateur rankings, and that he wants to go pro. The bout last night was a hastily sanctioned fight, scheduled immediately after the woman refused to dance with Johnson. It was expected to go a couple rounds, as the woman had a longer reach than Johnson and was only about 120 pounds lighter. But the crafty southpaw hit her with some well timed jabs and then delivered a knockout blow that sent her flying across the dance floor. Much like Kimbo Slice, Johnson's battles are proving to be internet video sensations. "This guy is street, he's hardcore," said Quinn Vega, a college student and fan of Johnson. "He can take on any woman at any time...just as long as it's in a dimly lit environment...and he has a broken bottle as a weapon...and they have their back turned. He's so tough." The decisive victory once again brought up talk that Larry Johnson should turn pro, and challenge some of the bigger names in female fighting. "I want a title shot!" said Johnson following the knockout. "Give me Laila Ali or Gina Carano, or anyone! If they have a vagina, I will knock them out! That is my promise! I remember when I was 13, and I beat my first girlfriend. I knew then that I had a special gift. I want to thank my parents, for raising me with a lack of morals and dignity. They always told me I should beat up girls, because they will probably not fight back, unless they look like they lift weights. They said I should probably still avoid them. But now I can share this gift I have with the world. I am going to be the best fighter of women in the history of the world. Just you all wait and see."