Found June 07, 2012 on
Kissing Suzy Kolber:
DamienGet More: SOUTHPARKmore…
I would like to submit the lede of this story in a contest for the worst opening for a novel ever.
Cowboys fullback Lawrence Vickers was stretching before the start of organized team activities on Wednesday like he always does.
Then as he approached a special teams drill he noticed something was wrong.
A shame the Bulwer-Lytton deadline has already passed. Guess I can still use it for NaNoWriMo.
Returning to the point: Vickers had to leave practice yesterday because two red ants got in his pants. He scurried off the field clutching his groin in a panic, which you might imagine attracted some attention. It’s not that he’s a spazz. Vickers is allergic to ants.
Overheard from Jason Garrett: “Oh, I find this lummox’s potentially serious situation to be quite risible! I will be sure to share this tale during my next eating! Ha ha! Ha ha!”
I feel for Vickers, though. Of all thing, ants are a pretty sh*tty thing to be allergic to, but at leas...
BEST OF MAXIM
AROUND THE WEB
BURNING UP A STORM
Cowboys fullback Lawrence Vickers had to briefly leave his team's practice because he had fire ants in his pants and by his groin area.
IRVING, Texas Dallas Cowboys fullback Lawrence Vickers exited organized team activities with a sense of urgency Wednesday.
Vickers was slightly slumped over with his right hand near his waist as he headed for the locker room. Perhaps he suffered some type of groin injury?
It turns out, Vickers was being stung by fire ants.
"Fire ants got in my pants," Vickers...
There were fears Dallas Cowboys fullback Lawrence Vickers had suffered a groin injury going by the way he was moving as he left the field at practice Wednesday -- but it turns out he had ants in his pants, literally.
Vickers is allergic to the insects and had to wash down and take allergy medicine Benadryl before returning to practice, the Fort Worth Star-Telegram reported.
Dallas Cowboys fullback Lawrence Vickers had finished his usual bit of stretching and was preparing to partake in organized team activities when he felt something not quite right in a most sensitive area of his lower body. The free agent signee did a little rummaging around in his crotch and found out what was causing the intense and sudden burning and itching sensation.
Veteran fullback Lawrence Vickers is trying to make a good impression at his first go-around with the Dallas Cowboys. Having to leave practice early, as he did during Wednesday's OTAs, is not the best way to go about impressing people.Then again, consider the reason: ants in his pants. Somehow a slew of fire ants found their way into Vickers' football pants, owners of a...
In the best NFL/children’s game story mash-up since Mario Williams accidentally Woke Daddy, veteran fullback Lawrence Vickers had to be helped off the pratice field during the Dallas Cowboys’ final week of organized team activities to be medically treated for Ants In The Pants. No, the actual ones.
The story, via Shutdown Corner:
On Wednesday, during the Cowboys’ final...
Not exactly what the ladies want to hear, amiright? It was an odd day for Lawrence Vickers at the Dallas Cowboys OTA. He suddenly had a bad case of ants in the pants. “Fire ants got in my pants,” Vickers said, per Brandon George of the Dallas Morning News. “I was freaking out. Oh, ants!” [...]
Dallas Cowboys fullback Lawrence Vickers was forced to leave practice because he had fire ants invade his crotch:
“I was just holding myself,” Vickers said. “And there were people outside and you...
Full story at Bob's Blitz ~ http://www.bobsblitz.com
Cowboys fullback Lawrence Vickers had to temporarily leave practice on Wednesday because he had ants in his pants. Literally. Making matters even worse is that Vickers recently discovered he is seriously allergic to fire ants.
According to the Dallas Morning News, Vickers left the first hour of practice at Valley Ranch holding his right hand near his waist and headed to the locker...
Cowboys fullback Lawrence Vickers, who had to leave practice due to fire ants in his pants