Originally written on Deuce of Davenport  |  Last updated 3/7/12

Then again it would probably have unintended consequences as it did for a Swedish floorball coach who found himself in trouble after using a unique method to coach defense.

The unnamed coach of the FBC Engelholm floorball team recently returned from suspension after another floorball coach reported him for employing his “Snygga brudar i försvaret” or “Hot Babes on Defense” strategy.

The controversial materials sparked a media storm when they became public in January and reference strategies known as ”Petra”, ”Jennifer” and ”Sofia”.

They were devised by the coach to show the boys on the FBC Engelholm floorball team how to play in various circumstances.

According to the strategies, referred to as ”hot babes on defence” (Snygga brudar i försvaret), “Sofia” is “hot and sexy” and likes to ”dress provocatively” and ”help herself in bed”.

”By snogging and feeling up Sofia at the right moment we will reach the optimum result,” the notes read.

”In bed, you can rip her clothes and spank her bottom.”

“Petra” meanwhile, “scratches, bites and likes to dominate” and “gets in the mood when you are aggressive”.

“Claudia” just likes it straight in the ass raw dog. Now you’re speaking to Rush Limbaugh after he’s popped 29 Viagra pills.

The snitch told police that he suspected more serious crimes may have been committed against minors. The offending coach was accused of disturbing the order yet he’s back with his team after sitting out for a little over a month. He’s no longer allowed to use his instruction materials which we have to assume consisted of a cardboard cutout of a woman a la Major League and a couple worn issues of Swank.

Now that I think about it, there’s no way Gregg Williams would use this system as he’s too busy getting his homophobia on to think about women.

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