Originally posted on Vikings Digital Diaries  |  Last updated 9/17/12

Vikings Gonna Vike: Let's get the bad news out of the way first - The Vikings lost in a total heartbreaker on Sunday afternoon, when they fell 20-23 to the Colts. Not to say that this loss was wholly unpredictable. I mean, we all saw it coming. I was expecting a loss before we even started the game, and even more so, when they were driving for the game tying touchdown, you just KNEW that this was setting up to be an all time great in heart breaks from the Purple. All the ingredients were there to make this a game you'd like to burn in a pile of ex-girlfriend photos. But that'd be a waste because, despite the loss, there were actually some redeeming qualities from this game. I know, it sounds like a preposterous statement, but hear me out as we cross that point. 

When it's all said and done though, if you ever wanted to watch a Vikings game where the Vikes were gonna Viking it up and play like the Vikings you know and love, Sunday was that day, and they didn't disappoint. Depending on how you look at it, I guess. I mean, they lost, so that was a total ball stomper, but they lost PREDICTABLY. So at least there's that. Whatever. Silver lining. Onto the recap.

Mushroom Stamp of Disapproval: No bones about it, we officially know who to blame for this loss. Amazingly, Ponder played fine (more on that in a second), Percy was out of his mind, the special teams was solid, the coaching had it's bumps but those were even arguable ... I didn't even see Ragnar on the screen. Really, this game was an all around solid game. Except, for that *******, defense. Our defense, despite all of it's upgrades, may still be one of the worst, smelliest, offensive, disgusting, depressing, instances of a defense that I have ever seen. It's like Kevin Cosgrove is coaching them. It's like our entire coaching staff isn't made up from guys that played defense back in the day, or are from a defensive coaching branch, or have a specialty in defense. And beyond that, it's like we don't have players that know how to scrap that **** for brains coaching plan and just stop the other team from doing good things with the ball. I won't say that I was sitting on the couch with my hands down my pants being lazy all Sunday afternoon and that I'm mad because I saw a defensive player take a play off, because I don't actually think I did. I think they were trying out there, but that may be the worst part. That's the best we can do against an offensive line that had like 4 guys sitting out? A missed safety, no interceptions against a guy who threw three last week, and 40 easy yards in 20 seconds? You're all fired. Everyone. I hate everyone on defense but Antoine Winfield. He's honestly it, and even he's pushing his luck, but only because he's old. The whole defensive squad gets STAMPED.

But About Shirtless Ponder: I hate to say this, because I'm sure he'll revert back to form soon, but ... He's played ... well? ... over these first two games. Really! In two games now (against ****** defensives, mind you) he's got 500 yards, 2 touchdowns, zero interceptions, an average completion percentage of about 70%, and .... a 1-1 record, which is all that really matters. And one of those touchdowns probably shouldn't count off of that tip ball. But I do think he's done alright. It's probably the appropriate amount of progression that we need to see from him in this second year, where technically he hasn't even played a full season of NFL games in his career. AND! Look at the garbage he has at wide receiver. Outside of Percy and the emerging Kyle Rudolph, the guy has nothing. His options are bleaker than a straight guy at the Saloon on a Saturday night. But he's still getting some things done, and I think that will only get better when our third favorite pot head , Jerome Simpson, gets back in the line up. He at least LOOKS like he can play wide receiver. And, I think we can all agree that while Ponder was a reach as far as draft picks go, but it could be a lot worse. I mean, look at the Jaguars. They benched Gabbertt yesterday. Amazing. What an asshole. At least our QB looks a lot better with his shirt off.

Take All of My Money (And Give it to Percy): This isn't even a debate anymore. If Percy doesn't have a contract extension for 13 years with an option for ownership in the franchise by week 6 of this year, I'll burn every Viking ship I see to the ground. When the guy is single handily able to accumulate more yardage than the rest of your entire offense, AND he's doing it by primarily catching bubble screen passes?! Yeah, you give him every dime you have in your bank account and pray to the Lord Purple Jesus that he doesn't flip you the bird and walk as a free agent. Just imagine how horrible this team would be without him, and I'm even talking about if we had a 100% Purple Jesus. Worse than starting Bobby Wade? Would Aromoshadu see more time? I don't know and I don't care. I never want to have to answer these questions. Give the man what he wants, god dammit. Don't screw this up like the Timberwolves did with Kevin Love.

The **** List: This was apparently the week when the team decided to start pissing me off something fierce and get me really upset with some of the football players, as players, not as human beings. As such, I'll continue to keep a week to week running tally of who it is from the organization that is moved to my **** list either through craptacular play or because they pissed me off for various reasons. After week two, that list includes (in no particular order):

Everson Griffen (Roughing the kicker call, JESUS!)
Jared Allen (Crap roughing the passer call, but come on man)
Charlie Johnson (Great game to show the Colts they're really missing out!)
Alan Williams (Are you seriously a coach?)
Leslie Frazier (This still all comes back to you, COACH)
Paul Allen (Because)
Ragnar (I hate your face)

I guess I could probably put the whole defense down too, but I think the problems are so much more systemic than just "the defense" that it would seem like a moot point. We're screwed, dudes.

You Lost, So Haiku:

The first guy who says
"We just need a little Luck"
Goes plays for the Vikes!

Sad day, friends. Disappointing loss, truly, because we probably could have and should have had that one. Regardless, we're still tied for the lead in the NFC North (everyone is 1-1!) and for the second best record in the NFL! The bad news is that the 49ers come to town this week and holy mother of God, they have been destroying everything they've touched so far this year. Who knew gold miners were so vicious. We'll see if we can recapture some 49er magic, but I doubt it.

Enjoy the week.
 

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