Reporters Pretending To Be Busy While Covering Uneventful NFL Trade Deadline

Another NFL trade deadline passes, and with it another season of NFL insiders from every media outlet pretending they are too busy covering all the deals to do real work. "It's sort of like a holiday for all of us," said FOX's Jay Glazer. "It's a day where it seems like a lot is going on, but then nothing actually happens. I usually catch a movie, play some internet chess, just relax around the house. I was just settling in for a dip in my jacuzzi when someone called with this Roy Williams to Dallas nonsense." Indeed the big talk, or better put the only talk, of this trade deadline was the trade of Roy Williams Dallas in exchange for 3 draft picks. But according to insiders, it was a deal that almost didn't happen. "I called Jerry Jones personally and asked him not to do the deal," said ESPN's Chris Mortenson. "I told him that it sounded good for his team and all, but I was currently out with a prostitute while both ESPN and my wife thought I was working the phones on this deadline thing. He told me that really made him think about it, but he still had to do the deal. So, I had to head back into the office and cover this one measly trade. That son of a bitch..."