Originally written on Purple Jesus Diaries  |  Last updated 10/15/14
First things first. Up until pretty much this year when the Detroit Lions reverted back to being the Detroit Lions, those Honolulu Blue kittens always had a soft spot in my heart, despite "technically" being NFC North rivals. You see, those laughable louts had the panache to go 0-16 in the modern era, they ruined Barry Sanders' life, they always play on Thanksgiving like it was supposed to mean something ... They were just a harmless fly in the room. But then they started beating the Vikings, and complaining about not getting calls, and then our team went 3-13 and all of a sudden everyone was eligible for the **** list. Regardless, the Lions reverted back to being the Lions again in 2012, thanks to overhyped expectations, poor performance, and largely unlikable characters on their team. And if their 2013 team calendar is any indication, these lug-heads are bound to be the laughing stock in the NFC North for years to come. Again. I mean, for more years to come, just like they were before. You know what I mean. Here's the front cover of the 2013 Detroit Lions calendar. Hey, not bad. You have a pretty dynamic shot of a player mid-action with the football, running through the rain all intense-like, with the white away uniforms standing out in stark contracts to the dreary, hard fought football turf background. Lions football, baby! I'm going to buy this calendar AND the jersey of that guy, Mister 16, Mister ... ... Titus Young? Oops. You see, this calendar is on sale. Today. I don't know when it was officially RELEASED, but probably around the same time as all other new year calendars are, at the end of the previous year. Well, OK, who would have know that the Detroit Lions were going to release Titus Young a couple of months later? I mean, Young was a rising star on a team devoid of rising stars, someone who could take the calendar cover and sell MILLIONS! Finally! A marketable face! Except for that Calvin Johnson guy. Or Ndamukong Suh. Or even Jason Hanson. And don't forget Matthew Stafford. And Matthew Stafford's girlfriend. I mean, literally, any of them would have been a better option to grace the cover of a team calendar, and had a pretty high probability that they'd be around for all of 2013, as well. Except for maybe Jason Hanson, but I'm never counting that Crypt Keeper out of anything. So that's pretty bad, but it was hardly the only snafu that appeared in this great piece of marketing. NFL.com's "Around the League" feature pointed out several other mix ups, including featuring Aaron Barry (who was released back in July), Kyle Vanden Bosch (released this last week), Jahvid Best (dead, probably, from concussions), and many others. It's an outstanding display of decision making. The plus side here, is that if you are really desperate for a 2013 calendar still, I bet you could end up buying this one pretty cheap. Just so you have something. The other real benefit is, oh yeah, this team is REALLY STUPID. And that makes the chances of the Vikings not finishing as cellar dwellers again pretty good. Thanks, Detroit! [follow]
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