The NFL Wants You Less Drunk

In what can only be seen as an act of cruelty towards Lions fans, the NFL is attempting to limit how much you can drink at an NFL game. The league has issued a new set of recommendations for teams out there, all aimed at keeping your blood alcohol level more in line with Detroit's winning percentage. Michael McCarthy at USA Today reports that the league is asking teams to limit tailgating to three-and-a-half hours before kickoff, and limit customers to just two 20-ounce beers each. They're also encouraging teams to set up snitch lines, posting numbers where fans can text reports of abusive fellow tailgaters. "Fans don't let fans drive drunk" will also be posted on almost every beer cup sold this season. If that doesn't work, I'd like to suggest a few alternate slogans that could help curb drinking: • "Who are you trying to be, Leonard Little(notes)?" • "You know you just paid $11 for a cheap domestic beer, right?"...