Getting ready for the (second) Mike Comrie Era…

It's midweek, and I am angrier than usual. What better outlet than a blog full of semi-incoherent rants to make myself feel better?

Comrie.

I thought the rumours weren't true – I told myself the rumours weren't true. How could they be? The Oilers hated Mike Comrie, much like Oilers fans hated Mike Comrie. I loved watching his career spiral from "promising," to the new "Mike Sillinger" – a guy who's potentially good enough to fill a gap, but you'd never give him more than a two-year contract.

Perhaps the Oilers giving Sillinger the title of player personnel director (what the hell?) was a chilling sign of things to come. Word has it – numerous words have it – that Comrie will sign with the Oilers within the next 24 hours.

First off, let's precede this with acknowledging it is a rumour. Maybe the Oilers aren't stupid. But, then again, we have a lot of proof that they are stupid.

I could live with this if Comrie were simply a *******, or simply another player who left the Oilers on terrible terms. But Comrie is worse than that. Much worse.

There are many situations in sports where you take back people you don't like because you need them. Perhaps they have a specific skill set (the New York Rangers and Donald Brashear, for example, even though I abhor that signing), or play a position where you have no other options (the Winnipeg Blue Bombers and Michael Bishop).

So, what do the Oilers need? A first line winger. Scoring. Size. Toughness. Heart. Someone who can physically hit an opponent. So, let's take a subjective look at Mike Comrie (subjective is my word for "biased," but whatever, it's my blog) and see if he fills any of those wholes:

• Mike Comrie is listed at 5'10, 185 lbs. I've watched a lot of NHL games… he is not 5'10, but for argument's sake, lets say he is. Let's take a look at the potential size of the Oilers opening day forward roster:
  
  • Brule, 5'10, 180 lbs
    
  • Cogliano, 5'10, 184 lbs
    
  • Eberle, 5'10, 174 lbs
    
  • Gagner, comically listed at 5'11, 191 lbs. I would say more like 5'9, 175.
    
  • Hemsky, 6'0, 192 lbs
    
  • HORC, 6'1, seven million pounds… err, 208 lbs.
    
  • J-F Jacques, 6'4, 217 lbs
    
  • Chopper, 6'2, 220 lbs
    
  • Nilsson, 5'11, 185 lbs
    
  • O'Sullivan, 5'11, 190 lbs
    
  • Penner, 6'2, 345 lbs
    
  • Pisani, 6'1, 205 lbs
    
  • Pouliot, 6'1, 195 lbs
    
  • Reddox, 5'10, 180 lbs
    

  
   

If Eberle or Reddox make the team (both relative longshots), the Oilers will be trotting out a lineup that has SEVEN FORWARDS under six-foot. To make it worse, Horcoff and Hemsky are incapable of throwing a hit, Penner is too tired to throw a hit, and Pisani and Pouliot would be useful… if you took their collective talent (and point totals) and made one player.

Actually, I just tried that. That would make a player who played 101 games and only managed 15 goals and 20 assists. If you made Pisani and Pouliot into one player, added a Sean Horcoff… you may have a second line center at that point. Anyway, I digress.

What else do we know about Comrie? He doesn't seem like a particularly good teammate, he has bounced around, and could generously be deemed on "the downside of his career." In 63 GP last year, he tallied 10 G, 17 A, 27 PTS. How will a guy like that fit in with the other Oilers forwards?

Hemsky, 72 GP, 23 G, 43 A, 66 PTS

HORC, 80 GP, 17 G, 36 A, 53 PTS

O'Sullivan, 81 GP, 16 G, 27 A, 43 PTS

Gagner, 76 GP, 16 G, 25 A, 41 PTS

Cogliano, 82 GP, 18 G, 20 A, 38 PTS

Penner, 78 GP, 17 G, 20 A, 37 PTS

Nilsson, 64 GP, 9 G, 20 A, 29 PTS

Comrie, 63 GP, 10 G, 17 A, 27 PTS

Pouliot, 63 GP, 8 G, 12 A, 20 PTS

Pisani, 38 GP, 7 G, 8 A, 15 PTS

Reddox, 46 GP, 5 G, 7 A, 12 PTS

Statistically, the Oilers are adding a guy who is coming off a Robert Nilsson-esque season, except Nilsson at least has speed and youth.

If anything, this move supports the sentiment that the Oilers will accept anyone from anywhere, because Edmonton is fast becoming the NHL's version of Siberia. I still hold out hope this isn't true. Please don't let it be true.

Eskimos.

I wrote most of an Eskimos blog yesterday, and decided it was too depressing to post. In short, I wondered if the Eskimos were the anti-Argos… a team with a record that is better than they deserve (5-4), considering their point totals (226 for, 284 against). They just played a game where they did not make it inside the Calgary 25 until garbage time.

I went on to write (I've always wanted to quote myself):

They could not establish a running game, and refuse to go downfield to open the field up. The Esks then resort to a painful offense featuring six-yard throws and dump-offs to running backs (in this case, the worst pass-catching RB in the CFL, Arkee Whitlock).

Well, apparently this incompetence wasn't lost on head coach Richie Hall, who mercifully canned offensive coordinator Rick Worman.

However, I must admit I'm starting to get a sinking feeling that I was wrong all along – maybe the Eskimos aren't any good. When they win, they never look impressive, and often I'm left thinking "boy, I can't believe they won that one." And when they lose, well… look no further than Labour Day. The Eskimos did not look bad… they looked like something worse than bad. I was left with a feeling like I needed to puke, but I was too bored to move.

Coyotes.

Every time I write about this, I always think "it can't really get any worse." Well, good gosh, it has!

Now it has become abundantly clear that Gary Bettman was lying all along – there were no prospective owners for the Coyotes. The only "potential" owner was Jerry Reinsdorf, who would only purchase the team if he literally could not lose money.

Of course, there's only one way the story will end – the league will buy the team, and Balsillie will be banned from the league forever. Sadly, the league and its owners didn't feel he was of enough moral standard – the same standards that all NHL owners proudly adhere to. Which
makes the timing of this story all that much funnier.