Tougas: Grass is Green

There is no worse story than when a writer is more or less "told to write." It happens in the newspaper industry all the time; an opinion writer is told he/she needs to have a piece in at a certain deadline, and even though the writer has nothing in particular to say, they churn out 750 words with theories like "the Oilers will need to score to win," "Do the Eskimos have the defense to win? I'm not sure," and my personal favourite, a rehashing of things past that brings up questions that have no answers.

It's one of the positives about the Interweb… with no restraints (and usually no requirements) most articles have an intended purpose (albeit, I'm sure 95% of things written on the Interweb are junk, but still). That's why you get nothing but hard-hitting journalism on this blog.

Once again, the pioneers at tsn.ca have bucked this trend.

Even at an interesting moment in the sports calendar – the CFL is hitting full-swing, the NFL is about to kickoff, and MLB features pennant races (personally, I don't care, but a lot of people do) – TSN has managed to continually throw things back to hockey. As far as I can tell, there are three hockey stories that have warranted considerable coverage in the past month:

1. The ongoing Phoenix Coyotes debacle.
   
2. Patrick Kane roughing up a cabbie over 20 cents.
   
3. Jeremy Roenick retiring.
   

That's it. With no rule changes, no trades, no notable signings, no hilarious off-ice antics… well, it's the off-season. We all need a break, don't we? Isn't eight months of non-stop coverage enough?

Apparently not.

I only write this because I can't stand it any longer. This story yesterday took the cake, because it may be the greatest non-story of the summer. Let me summarize it in a few simple points.

1. A writer interviewed Pierre McGuire, because he's (obviously) the most underutilized person in hockey broadcasting. I have a hard time finding his opinion.
   
2. McGuire is asked about the men's Olympic orientation camp… which is a bonafide skate around for a bunch of star Canadian hockey players. The purpose of the camp on paper is to help pick a team. Let us pray that the executives in charge of Team Canada will not base their picks on a bunch of slightly-out-of-playing-shape players playing contact-free hockey in August.
   
3. McGuire thinks his idol, Sidney Crosby, will "shine at Olympic camp." Real ground-breaking stuff. Pierre tells us there are three keys to the camp. The first is establishing a system (alright, sort of a fair point). The second is seeing how "younger players respond to the pressure of being in a camp like this with more established players." He wonders how Crosby will respond to the challenge, and eventually deduces that he will respond "very well." I, on the other hand, think that Crosby will wilt under the pressure of playing shinny at a training camp of a team he's already made – because this will be so much more intense than Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals. And as for all those other young players who have only spent two, three or maybe four years in the league? Well, it's one thing to suit up and play against older superstars, and it's another thing to play against them in contract-free scrimmages. Pierre's third question is who will take over the leadership mantle. Considering it is a three day camp with about 50+ players, I'm going to go with "no one."
   
4. The writer resisted the temptation to write all of Pierre's answers in caps lock.
   

Of course, this was front page on tsn.ca.

If you look to the right side of the page, there are (always) numerous NHL videos. A few of my favourites lately:

DOING WHAT HE DOES BEST – Brian Burke has made a career on building great teams, but the Maple Leafs aren't his only project.

The above statement may be factually inaccurate, but I'm just relieved to hear that Brian is keeping busy and staying in the spotlight.

BALANCE OF POWER – The Maple Leafs have built a very strong blue line, but will their offence be able to produce?

It's a good question, and luckily Brian Burke was there to weigh in.

MAESTRO – Team USA General Manager had an interesting way to describe how he will select the Olympic roster.

I will give you one guess who the Team USA general manager is.

So, I'm sure you're asking, "well, Scott, if you can't stand it, why do you go to the site and read these stories?" Honestly, I don't – I just pulled this up for the sake of a blog. I would try Sportsnet, but, well, y'know. So that leaves The Score, which seemed like a pretty viable option until I read this, which only confirms my fears: Canadian sports networks are run by a bunch of buffoons.