Washington Capitals’ forward Eric Belanger took a high stick straight to the kisser on Friday night during his team’s 6-3 win against the Montreal Canadiens. It’s a motivational moment where we can all realize that we needn’t dress up and put gel in our hair when hitting the town during a hot weekend night. Instead, we should roll up our sleeves and attempt to beat the living daylights out of someone twice our size — that behemoth at the bar making nice with the girl you’ve had your eyes on since you stepped through the door. It’s your time time shine: You pound your Jameson like it’s the sweet water that it is, dropping a creased dollar into the acorn glass for the tip, and then sidling up next to your oblivious opponent who’s now whispering weightless compliments into your lady’s ear. You throw a haymaker, but it’s caught, not by your opponent, but by some invisible grip from the ether. You turn around — it...
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