Originally posted on Barry Melrose Rocks  |  Last updated 9/19/12



The Florida Panthers were among the first teams to lay off staff, and among the terminated was team mascot Stanley C. Panther. Follow along as we join the lovable mascot on three journeys through unemployment.

 SCENE 1

/looks at keyboard
/looks at giant felt fingers
/mashes keyboard
/hangs head

SCENE 2 

 Interviewer: So would you say you have good personal skills? I mean, you are a large junglle cat, after all
/points to smile on his face, throws up hands
Interviewer: But would if a customer comes in and they are upset? What do you do then?
/stands up and does the running man
Interviewer: I... think we have to go in another direction
/hangs head

SCENE 3

UPS Manager: I understand that you have driven a zamboni?
/nods furiously
UPS Manager: Strangely enough, that more than qualifies you to work for us. Congratulations, you're hired! Probably because this is the clearly German version of the company.
/Stands up and does running man
UPS Manager: You can start today! Here is your uniform, go get read and we will start training today!
/Goes to change. Comes back
UPS Manager: GOOD LORD, MAN, WHERE ARE YOUR PANTS?!
/Points to tail
UPS Manager: That's disgusting!  Get out! Get out of the office!
/Hangs head

Someone, please. Stanley isn't fit to be released into the Everglades. His felt suit gets bogged down by water, and he isn't much of a hunter. Please hire Stanley. 

GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Rob Gronkowski gets new contract, chance to double salary

Padres offering $99 ticket plan for five June wins or 16 June games – whatever happens first

Former Jets WR Devin Smith found out he was cut via Twitter

Roger Goodell tweets ‘Key & Peele’ joke about relaxed celebration rules

Martavis Bryant: ‘I know this is my last chance’

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Glennon: ‘This is my year and I’m not worried about the future’

Durant apologizes for response to fans complaining about blowouts

Sheldon Richardson says Jets locker room is better without Brandon Marshall

What's next for the Spurs?

Pro Football Hall of Famer Cortez Kennedy dies at 48

Report: NFL modifies injured reserve rule

The 'Walk on home, boy' quiz

NBA Referee Hotline Bling: Dejounte Murray gets his calls blocked twice

It's reality check time for the Texas Rangers

Box Score 5/23: Preds, Warriors move on to respective Finals

The 10 best sports docs available for streaming

Why wait? Our too soon Cavaliers-Warriors NBA Finals preview

NBA Weekend Awards: Who will take a bite of the Snow White Crystal Apple?

The 'How two award snubs might shake up the NBA' quiz

Preparing for the BIG3: Q&A with BIG3 co-founder Jeff Kwatinetz

Two months in and Nintendo's Switch dominates 2017 video game market

Getaway Day: League leaders falter allowing new teams to surge ahead

Best of Yardbarker: Gregg Popovich doesn't mince words

NHL News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

NBA Referee Hotline Bling: Dejounte Murray gets his calls blocked twice

It's reality check time for the Texas Rangers

The 'Walk on home, boy' quiz

NBA Weekend Awards: Who will take a bite of the Snow White Crystal Apple?

Why wait? Our too soon Cavaliers-Warriors NBA Finals preview

The 10 best sports docs available for streaming

The 'How two award snubs might shake up the NBA' quiz

Preparing for the BIG3: Q&A with BIG3 co-founder Jeff Kwatinetz

Two months in and Nintendo's Switch dominates 2017 video game market

Getaway Day: League leaders falter allowing new teams to surge ahead

Today's Best Stuff
For Publishers
Company Info
Help
Follow Yardbarker