Originally written on Blackhawks Down Low  |  Last updated 11/13/14

Oh, the Canucks. Hey, losers. What's new?

Oh, wait, I can think of something new: You’re looking at our sexy asses sitting pretty in first place in the conference while you’re hanging out in 11th. But that’s not really a big deal. I mean, we’re only a dozen or so games in.

That two game losing streak you guys are on is pretty awesome. Who’d you lose to again? The Wild & Blues? LOL. Yeah, sure, the Wild have gotten off to a pretty damn good start, but, really? The Wild? Okay then.

What else is new, guys? Luongo’s stats? A 3.19 GAA and a .884 SV%? That’s not really new, at least not to us. We’re pretty used to seeing that honestly. And in actuality, a 3.19 GAA would be welcome for the Canucks against the Hawks.

You might want to give Alex “Hungry Hungry Hippo” Burrows a heads up that he’ll have to figure out who’s hair he’d like to pull on since Duncan Keith is taking another night off tonight.



Hmm, let’s see, what else...Manny Malhotra is a -10? Yowsas. Isn’t he supposed to be a defensive specialist? I guess not.

Hey, quick question from Dan Carcillo, is Raffi Torres still around? No? He’s too busy being successful in Phoenix? Huh. Okay.

I guess there is one bright spot for you guys, that Sami Salo is the leading point scorer among one-nutted defensemen. Good for you, Chief.

I think it’s adorable that you think this is some sort of “revenge” game for the Hawks. You think we’re still brooding over the “tragic” end to our playoffs last season? Nah. It’s cool. Next to sending your asses home and going on to win the Cup ourselves, watching you come sooooo close just to fail yet again was pretty awesome.

I just read that Burrows & Salo are both out today. Meh. At least Lapierre is still hanging around for us to beat up and laugh at.

Jeez, I haven’t even mentioned The Twins. Whatever. Bolland is anxiously awaiting you.

So as far as real analysis: if the Hawks stay out of the box, they’ll win.

And with that, let’s get down to business and start the amateur hour that is Canucks hockey.

[youtube]oau9gtG5Om8[/youtube]

GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Hernandez allegedly shot friend after fight over strip club bill

Report: Andre Johnson requests to be traded or released

James Harden suspended for groin kick to LeBron James

Mark Cuban will play the President in 'Sharknado 3'

Five most exciting one-bid conference tournaments

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Report: Redskins interested in Ndamukong Suh

Report: Darrelle Revis likely to hit free agent market

Le'Veon Bell could face up to a four-game suspension

Report: Giants place franchise tag on Jason Pierre-Paul

Vikings GM: Team has spoken with Adrian Peterson

Yu Darvish on notion he quit on Rangers: ‘That’s BS‘

Who received franchise tags at the deadline and who did not

WATCH: Whiteside, Len ejected after getting into wrestling match

WATCH: Texas-Baylor fight leads to seven ejections

Nik Stauskas wears Michigan State gear after lost bet

Bret Bielema takes away player's car after DUI

NHL player traded after daughter's heartbreaking letter

Curt Schilling unloads on Twitter trolls again

Pirates Corey Hart cut his foot getting into a whirlpool

Steve Spurrier joins Twitter, jabs Clemson

Michael Jordan makes his first Forbes billionaire list

Nick Young rips ESPN anchor over Iggy Azalea insult

Sad LeBron literally looks in mirror after loss to Rockets

NHL News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

Five potential landing spots for Andre Johnson

Texas-Baylor fight leads to 7 ejections

Mark Cuban will be Prez in 'Sharknado 3'

Report: Redskins interested in Suh

Report: Revis likely to hit free agency

Steve Spurrier joins Twitter

MJ makes Forbes billionaire list

Nick Young fires back at Robert Flores

Sad LeBron literally looks in mirror after loss to Rockets

MLS 2015 season preview

Report: Broncos to franchise Demaryius

James Harden kicks LeBron in groin

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
Help
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.