Originally written on Blackhawks Down Low  |  Last updated 11/13/14

Oh, the Canucks. Hey, losers. What's new?

Oh, wait, I can think of something new: You’re looking at our sexy asses sitting pretty in first place in the conference while you’re hanging out in 11th. But that’s not really a big deal. I mean, we’re only a dozen or so games in.

That two game losing streak you guys are on is pretty awesome. Who’d you lose to again? The Wild & Blues? LOL. Yeah, sure, the Wild have gotten off to a pretty damn good start, but, really? The Wild? Okay then.

What else is new, guys? Luongo’s stats? A 3.19 GAA and a .884 SV%? That’s not really new, at least not to us. We’re pretty used to seeing that honestly. And in actuality, a 3.19 GAA would be welcome for the Canucks against the Hawks.

You might want to give Alex “Hungry Hungry Hippo” Burrows a heads up that he’ll have to figure out who’s hair he’d like to pull on since Duncan Keith is taking another night off tonight.



Hmm, let’s see, what else...Manny Malhotra is a -10? Yowsas. Isn’t he supposed to be a defensive specialist? I guess not.

Hey, quick question from Dan Carcillo, is Raffi Torres still around? No? He’s too busy being successful in Phoenix? Huh. Okay.

I guess there is one bright spot for you guys, that Sami Salo is the leading point scorer among one-nutted defensemen. Good for you, Chief.

I think it’s adorable that you think this is some sort of “revenge” game for the Hawks. You think we’re still brooding over the “tragic” end to our playoffs last season? Nah. It’s cool. Next to sending your asses home and going on to win the Cup ourselves, watching you come sooooo close just to fail yet again was pretty awesome.

I just read that Burrows & Salo are both out today. Meh. At least Lapierre is still hanging around for us to beat up and laugh at.

Jeez, I haven’t even mentioned The Twins. Whatever. Bolland is anxiously awaiting you.

So as far as real analysis: if the Hawks stay out of the box, they’ll win.

And with that, let’s get down to business and start the amateur hour that is Canucks hockey.

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