Originally written on The House Of Heckle  |  Last updated 11/4/14

GLENDALE, AZ - OCTOBER 10: Rick Nash #61 of the Columbus Blue Jackets celebrates after scoring a first period goal against the Phoenix Coyotes during the NHL game at Jobing.com Arena on October 10, 2009 in Glendale, Arizona. The Blue Jackets defeated the Coyotes 2-0. (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)

The Rangers acquired 5 time all-star forward Rick Nash today, in exchange for Brandon Dubinsky, Artem Anisimov, Tim Erixon, a first round pick, and a bucket of Ranger GM Glen Sather’s crap.

While Ranger fans are elated, many are wondering why this deal took so long to materialize, since the players moved in the deal were available at the trade deadline, and during the NHL Draft.

“It was the bucket of crap” said Sather. “I thought initially that my offer for Nash was being CALLED a bucket of crap, but when I realized that Scott Howson is insane and just has a crap fetish, I was happy to crap in a bucket to get the deal done.”

Columbus GM Scott Howson confirmed that it was in fact a bucket of Glen Sather’s crap that pushed the deal to completion.

“Yeah, that’s all I wanted, and we got it done baby! I don’t even care about the players we got back, they’re all pretty average. Glen is a great hockey mind, and I think that having a bucket of his crap present at all times will bring The Blue Jackets good juju. Also, it’ll fertilize the plants in my office. I almost feel bad, we robbed those poor sons of ******* blind.”

There is no word on when The Rangers plan to introduce Rick Nash, but rumor has it that Howson is planning a parade for this Wednesday, celebrating the arrival of Glen Sather’s crap.

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