Originally posted on The Royal Half  |  Last updated 4/2/12

Game #80

LA KINGS
39-27-13
91 pts, 3rd in Western Conference
vs
EDMONTON OILERS
32-38-9
73 pts, 14th in Western Conference

Oilers lead Season Series 2-1

7:30pm, Staples Center
Los Angeles, CA
PRIME TICKET

BEST PLAYER TO WEAR BOTH COLORS THAT IF HE HAD STAYED WITH THE KINGS
THIS SEASON HE WOULD BE THE KINGS 4TH OVERALL SCORER AND TIED FOR 3RD IN GOALS:

 

BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
JeanShorts and BaggedMilk
Oilers Nation
Oilers Jambalaya
Lowetide

ARE THE LA KINGS IN THE PLAYOFFS?
YES.

It's another Monday night game for the Los Angeles Kings... and I'm totally unprepared for a Gameday Thread. Thankfully, Brigitte over at One Girl, One Puck has a brand-new edition of her column that is sweeping Kings Nation... "Know Your Opponent." And with this weeks post, we now know that Brigitte is a perfect fit for The Royal Half... because she makes fun of Indiana Matt!!!

Click Here to Check Out "Know Your Opponent" for the Kings vs Oilers Game on Monday, April 2nd!!!

I'm gonna be honest... I don't know a lot about the Oilers. I know that they've been eliminated from the playoffs, which means they suck. I know that they have a ton of young players who are pretty damn good, yet they still manage to be terrible. I also know that Ryan Smyth plays for them because he cried like a ***** this summer. Whatever. Ryan Smyth is old, and is pretty much useless unless he's within 3 feet of the net. Even then he just stands there and lets pucks hit his stupid ******* giant stick blade. Ryan Smyth sucks. You knows who's better than Ryan Smyth? Mike Richards. Even though Richards has been a ghost since coming back from a concussion, I'd still take him over Smyth any day. Why? Because you know who's sexier than Ryan Smyth? Mike Richards. So what, I'm shallow, you should know this by now. That's pretty much all I know about the Oilers. Instead of actually having something witty to say I made terrible photoshops of Mike Richards making Ryan Smyth cry. Eat your heart out Indiana Matt!

 

 "Look at this idiot! He requested a trade TO Edmonton. Haha, what a dumb ****."

  

"You see this chart here shows how many blow jobs I've gotten since I've been in LA."

  

At least this Carter and Richards double team won't leave anyone with herpes. Hopefully.

  

"Hey guys check it out! We didn't even need to shove him he just went in the locker by himself! What a loser!"

  

Love, Dean Lombardi.

 

"Why don't I look like Mike Richards? If I looked like Richards I bet people would love me."

 It's OK though Ryan I'm sure your new teammates love you. I mean what's not to love? That stupid hair, dumb face, and non-stop crying are really quite attractive. Right Taylor Hall?

  

"Yea umm...you're on your own Ryan. I've got my own issues to work on over here."

So that's it. The Oilers are bad, the Kings should beat them. Seriously, if they just show up their odds are pretty good. Also, try not to slip and fall on Ryan Smyth's tears, we need you guys healthy.

Oh yea, here's a shirtless picture of Mike Richards. Because I can.

 

I love you Mike Richards.

GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

NFL GM: Peterson could push Saints ‘into the playoffs and beyond’

Report: Derek Jeter/Jeb Bush-led group wins auction for Marlins

Jets GM: ‘No problem’ avoiding domestic violence offenders in draft

Texans will have a draft pick announced from outer space

Kobe Bryant on if he misses basketball: ‘No, I don’t’

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Jay Cutler's agent: QB has no plans to retire

Jamaal Charles reminds teams he’s still available

Raiders to announce draft picks from ‘Las Vegas’ sign

Riley nearly wrote Dan Gilbert-like letter when LeBron left Heat

Seahawks GM says Marshawn Lynch, Raiders ‘still talking’

Damian Lillard: Beating Warriors has become an obsession

The 'QB or not QB? That is the question' quiz

Perfect matches: Handpicking players for certain teams in the 2017 NFL Draft

NFL Draft do-overs we'd most like to see

NFL Draft X-factor players you may have missed during their college careers

Everything you need for the 2017 NFL Draft

Box Score 4/25: 'So long, sleeves'

The 10 best sports docs available for streaming

NBA Weekend Awards: Who takes home the Wilt Chamberlain Trophy?

Where it went wrong: Stanley Cup Playoffs Round 1 exits

20 of the best NFL Draft red carpet looks

Getaway Day: Wild, wacky and weird week in MLB (and that's just the injuries)

11 names you need to know for the NFL Draft

NHL News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

The 'QB or not QB? That is the question' quiz

Perfect matches: Handpicking players for certain teams in the 2017 NFL Draft

NFL Draft do-overs we'd most like to see

NFL Draft X-factor players you may have missed during their college careers

Everything you need for the 2017 NFL Draft

The 10 best sports docs available for streaming

Most inspirational sports movies, series and docs available for streaming

NBA Weekend Awards: Who takes home the Wilt Chamberlain Trophy?

Where it went wrong: Stanley Cup Playoffs Round 1 exits

Getaway Day: Wild, wacky and weird week in MLB

Today's Best Stuff
For Publishers
Company Info
Help
Follow Yardbarker