Originally written on The Royal Half  |  Last updated 12/7/11

DETROIT - DECEMBER 13: Dustin Penner #27 of the Edmonton Oilers looks on during the game against the Detroit Red Wings at Joe Louis Arena on December 13, 2007 in Detroit, Michigan. (Photo by Dave Sandford/Getty Images)

In his 41st game as a Los Angeles King... Dustin Penner finally showed the player we all hoped he was. And then the team went out and **** the bed against the 29th overall team in the NHL.

Boy, if this is what Dustin Penner looks like while playing his best game as a King,
I'd hate to see what he looked like during his best years as an Oiler.

DUCKS 3, KINGS 2

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Well no wonder the Los Angeles Kings came out against the Anaheim Ducks looking listless and disoriented.

Couldn't have Drew Doughty paid for a nicer bus to get them down to Anaheim?

Of course, Tuesday night was Game 3 of the Freeway Faceoff, and it was new Anaheim coach Bruce Boudreau's first introduction to the big rivalry.

This logo has the same amount of 5 on 5 scoring as the Los Angeles Kings.
Ok, I lied. It has more.

How serious is Bruce Boudreau taking this Kings-Ducks rivalry?
Apparently he hired Marc Crawford as his assistant coach. That's how serious. 

There was one thing that was strange about the game Tuesday night between Anaheim and Los Angeles...

Why was it being played in Dallas?

Jonas Hiller is fully recovered from his bout with vertigo but now he's got the bends.

Most. Awkward. Family Christmas Photo. Ever.

Since the Kings can't find anyone to help provide offense, instead the good folks at Fox Sports West HD decided to find someone to add comedy.

Remind you of anyone?

I'm assuming the new Kings Sideline Reporter, Crystina Poncher, was making her Kings Broadcast debut last night. And even though she went to night classes at Santa Monica College in order to hone her craft, maybe she could have bought a Hockey for Dummies book before interviewing the dude who was repeating everything he ever read off a fan message board.  I never thought I would find myself longing for the Ghost of Heidi Androl more than I was last night. 

I wasn't longing for Heidi because she knows more about hockey...
I was longing for Heidi cause she's hotter.

But Crystina Poncher wasn't the only professional broadcaster struggling to get their words out last night. Hall of Fame Broadcaster Bob Miller either was reminiscent about the good old "Murray" years... or he just has a huge man-crush on Andy Murray.

I think the answer is both.

Sure, he may have only had 1 assist on the scoreboard Tuesday night (which still represents 25% of his season point totals) but Dustin Penner played exactly like Kings fans hoped he would. And by "hoped he would" of course I'm referring to breaking Corey Perry's back. 

Penner on Perry crime is the fastest-growing crime in the US and Canada.

I **** you not... this is the shot of Dustin Penner the moment after Corey Perry was carried off the ice.
Even Kevin Westgarth is shocked at Penner's black heart. 

I've said it before and I'll say it again... hipster girls love Jon Quick.

We've joked about it for some time... but now it's really happening.
Anze Kopitar is foaming at the mouth and becoming a zombie.

I'm confused... is Justin Williams celebrating his first goal in 17 games...
or is he telling his coach to suck it? 

Yeah, I'd be pretty, pretty, pretty upset if I paid money for this game too.

I hate to say it... but with 2 or fewer goals in 6 consecutive games... and with the Los Angeles Kings now being the lowest scoring team in the league (think about that... lower than the Islanders, Blue Jackets or Jets)... Terry Murray Watch has begun. 

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