Originally written on The Royal Half  |  Last updated 2/2/12

BLUE JACKETS 2, KINGS 3 (KINDA)

Man, was that the craziest thing you've ever seen in a hockey game or what???

No... I see that crazy mug every hockey game.

No... I said "craziest" thing not "sexiest" thing.

Okay... I give you that.
But I was talking about another crazy-looking thing that happened in this game.

Enough with your guesses. Obviously the craziest thing that happened in the Los Angeles Kings 3-2 victory over the Columbus Blue Jackets at Staples Center Wednesday night was this:

Dustin Penner scored a goal!

Oh, right... and this happened too.

If you are having a hard time understanding what Jim Fox and Patrick O'Neal are saying to each other at the end, let me translate:

Seriously, though... how amazing is it that Fox Sports West HD even did this kind of analysis at the end of the game? If this were Fox Sports Pittsburgh, that video evidence would have been burned and then shredded immediately after the goal. Obviously the players knew that something was about to blow up because they were literally running out of Staples Center to catch their plane to St. Louis.

Drew Doughty didn't even have enough time to take his helmet off before putting headphones on for an interview.
There is your season ticket money at work, fans.

After the game, Drew Doughty was able to slip into the head covering he is much more comfortable in.

I swear I'm gonna start a Tumblr "Drew Doughty in Blue Jay Hats."

Unfortunately what was lost in all the time-clock madness was the fact that the LA Kings played awful against the 30th ranked team that had lost the night before 6-0. That... and photos of Jon Quick at the All Star Game!!!

Here is Jon Quick looking awkward.

Here is Jon Quick trying to look like a gangster but instead just looking awkward.

"Hey there son, my name is Marc Crawford."

"Yeah, I know... I played for you."

"Right! You're the guy I started Jason LaBarbera and Erik Ersberg over.
So... what's been happening. Still in the league?" 

OMG... Luc Robitaille's youngest son is so freakin' cute!!!
I'm sorry what? Jim Fox who? 

And just when you thought this clock-stoppage issue couldn't get any nerdier.... this happens:

Whoops... sorry. Wrong copy and paste.

From the LA Times:

Kings General Manager Dean Lombardi said via email that the clock was correct and no extra time had been added.

“Those clocks are sophisticated instruments that calculate time by measuring electrical charges called coulombs,” he said. “Given the rapidity and volume of electrons that move through the measuring device the calibrator must adjust at certain points which was the delay you see. The delay is just recalibrating for the clock moving too quickly during the 10 – 10ths of a second before the delay.

“This insures that the actual playing time during a period is exactly 20 minutes. That is not an opinion. That is science. Amazing device quite frankly."

Goddamn, I love my GM.

Dean Lombardi is such a bad-ass that sometime it just makes me want to scream.

Look how fast Justin Williams is skating over to be the 1st to grab Drew Doughty's junk.

6 games in 10 days on the road. Where you are sitting for the 2011-2012 NHL playoffs is decided right here. Why do I feel like we've been here before?

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