I'm going to assume that no human being ? especially a professional athlete ? can be as out of shape as Antonio Alfonseca looks this year. Wow, got to be a couple of chicken heads at least, or maybe he is using his stomach as an incubator.

There are 10 commandments.There are 10 business days between paychecks.There are 10 fingers and 10 toes on a human (unless you're a freak like Antonio Alfonseca).There are apparently 10 things I hate about you.And now there are 10 blown saves by Brad Lidge.~Carson

During a Philadelphia Phillies players' meeting intended to remedy problems the team has faced this year, outfielder Aaron Rowand jumped up and ran head-on into a wall in an attempt to get teammates fired up. The random act of bravery/stupidity came during hour three of the meeting, in the midst of an unintelligible rant from pitcher Antonio Alfonseca....

14. Antonio Alfonseca in 2007 Alfonseca’s bad year may have been overshadowed by his 8 saves during the time the Phillies were without a closer. Although he converted 8 saves, he blew 5. (...)

OOOOOOOooohhhh, baby! You see that large mound of flesh up there about to toss a slider past some unsuspecting schlub? Yeah, that’s Antonio Alfonseca.  “El Pulpo” for short.  And now, the ex-Phillies reliever and cuddliest man in the history of the majors is making a comeback with the Lancaster Barnstormers of the (independant) Atlantic League. Here’s the press [...]

THE RETURN OF ANTONIO ALFONSECA: The El Pulpiest of relievers has just inked a deal to pitch for the Bridgeport Bluefish of the Atlantic League. Last year with the Lancaster Barnstormers, Antonio appeared in 34 games and amassed 4 wins, 15 saves and 38 strikeouts. [Hartford Sports Examiner]

A long time ago, in an internet far far away, there was boredom around the blogosphere. The Hot Stove had cooled and pitchers and catchers were not close to reporting. And one lonely blogger, desparate for readers, set out to entertain at least himself with comparisons between Phillies baseball and Star Wars characters. Today, Episode I..... Charlie Manuel as Yoda - Yoda...

So I was reading about he Nats today and I clicked on Nick Johnson's thumbnail because I was surprised to see that he was still in the majors and didn't retire 3 years ago. Anyways, he has what has to be the most awesomely hilarious official team photo this side of Antonio Alfonseca's extra half-digit.

Over their history the Marlins have had their share of inconsistent and unreliable closers.    It hasn’t been all bad over the years for Miami though, as they have had a few dominating finishers as well.   Heath Bell who will take over the role in 2012 may wind up the best closer in Marlins history but he does have some competition for that title. Bryan Harvey served as...

A good friend of mine went to the Bridgeport Bluefish game tonight and sends this picture of his daughter with Antonio Alfonseca. Antonio Alfonseca poses with a fan at a Bridgeport Bluefish game.

The Florida Marlins were on the verge of acquiring future Hall of Fame outfielder Manny Ramirez from the Boston Red Sox before Thursday's trade deadline, but Ramirez ended up with the Dodgers instead. As a consolation prize, the Marlins traded for journeyman reliever, and former Phillies, Arthur Rhodes, from the Seattle Mariners for minor league pitcher Gaby Hernandez. ...

Cubs have had some bad closers since 1988, but Hawkins likely worst of worse SAN DIEGO -- The Cubs have had their share of memorable closers over the years, from ribald Rod Beck to self-promoting wacko Turk Wendell to six-fingered flop Antonio Alfonseca.

Closer day-to-day with a bum knee; no sweat. Ace of the staff returns from screaming line drive assault and battery to sprain ankle while fielding; no big deal. 5 game winning streak; freaking awesome! Okay, having Brad Lidge and Cole Hamels nicked up is not a good thing, but I don't think it's anything to panic over either. Lidge should be available come Friday, and Hamels has already...

Last year the bullpen nearly cost the Phillies a shot at the playoffs with the likes of Tom Gordon, Ryan Madson, Jose "Joe Table" Mesa, and Antonio "6-Finger Ant" Alfonseca. This season may turn out to be just as bad, as Pat Gillick put together the same crap of Gordon and Madson, but mixed in Tim Lahey, Clay Condrey, and Chad Durbin this time...Deja Vu? Game...

I was perusing the MLB section of ESPN.com today when I came across a transaction that made me a bit nostalgic for recent days gone by. “San Francisco Giants Sign LHP Willis to Minor League Deal”, it read. The Willis in question is of course former Detroit Tiger Dontrelle Willis, a man who was at one point one of the game’s brightest young stars. In fact, once upon a ...

Nationally, when baseball rivalries are discussed, it's usually the one that involves two teams called the New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox that get the attention.  Actually, it's always that particular rivalry, but there is also another one in the old Midwest that is pretty good too.  This year, it's even more interesting, as the Chicago Cubs sit pretty comfortably on top of...

Recently acquired starter Kyle Lohse went 6 1/3 innings winning his first game as a Phillie and helping his own cause with an RBI single. The bullpen was one hit from total perfection and centerfielder Aaron Rowand belted his 18th homer in the 6th inning to drive in the 2 winning as the Phillies defeated hapless lefthander Dontrelle Willis and the Florida Marlins by a 6-4 score.

One of the main reasons why Hendry was inserted into the General Manager position was for his knowledge of our system and prospects, as he was in charge of our drafts from 96-02, and responsible for much of the minor league stockpile we acquired through the draft and foreign free agency. Under Jim, we've never shied away from trading our top prospects (Choi, Hill, Beltran, Jones...

In the Cy Young era, just ten pitchers have won the MVP award, including Justin Verlander in 2011. Today's Lineup Card will focus on either 1) one of these pitchers and the position-player alternative who would have had the most compelling case to win the award instead, or 2) a pitcher who didn't win the MVP award but should have. 1) Dennis Eckersley, 1992 To find a...

As a Cub fan, I've put up with a lot of **** over the years. DustyBall, Juan Pierre, towel drills, Antonio Alfonseca, Mel ******* Rojas, watching Greg Maddux walk away, watching Mark Grace (Ron Coomer? ******* seriously?) walk away, Jim Hendry, Neifi Perez, Sosa and his expanding . . . ego (not to mention his corked bats), Moises Alou temper tantrums, Andy McFail, the Tribune ownership...

Continuing with 12 Days of Christmas by the Numbers, I present you with number 5.The Reds have won 5 World Series, which is the fifth highest for any team in Major League Baseball (not counting the Bankee$. They don't count. They just don't, ok?) I am convinced they would have won it in '81 and '94 if strikes hadn't screwed them.Only two Reds have worn 5: Whitey Lockman (1960...

Dirtlocker points for: Antonio Alfonseca, Rod Barajas, Gary Bennett, Miguel Cabrera, Mike DiFelice, Freddy Garcia, Luis Gonzalez, Tony Graffanino, Shawn Green, Geoff Jenkins, Jason Jennings, Byung-Hyun Kim, Corey Koskie, Jon Lieber, Mike Lieberthal, Kyle Lohse, Russell Martin, Jose Mesa, Damian Mill...

The Cubs wrapped up a 3-game series against the Brewers tonight, and all three games lived up to the hype.  Some thoughts: Freaking Kevin Gregg.  He's yet another in the long line of on-and-on-and-on crappy closer acquisitions for the Cubs.  Antonio Alfonseca, Mel Rojas, Dave Smith, Latroy Hawkins, Rick Aguilera.  Name your loser.  He's...

Believe it or not, I have never taken a bit of a paczki.  To each their own, but I don't find them appealing.  On the other hand, these athletes have enjoyed many a paczki on Fat Tuesday...and Fat Wednesday and Fat Thursday.  So much so that they have become the fattest athletes around...and that's not with a 'ph'.Dmitri Young - aka Da MeathookTony GwynnJohn KrukCecil FielderPrince...

Every club brings a few reclamation projects to spring training every year as non-roster invitees. Some of those guys don’t even make it through spring training camp, like former Detroit closer Matt Anderson with the Phillies this year. The Cincinnati Reds 2011 project is 29 year old Dontrelle Willis. I dusted off an old prospect report on the D-Train from John Sickels, of MinorLeagueBall...