THE HEFTY LEFTY
Jared Lorenzen, large as ever, playing QB
Holy moly! Look at the size of that guy! And he’s playing quarterback, for crying out loud. Granted, Jared Lorenzen never was a prototypical quarterback, even back when he made his mark as the signal caller for the University of Kentucky Wildcats, as well as the few nondescript seasons he spent with the New York [...]
Via Sportress of Blogitude
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May 18, 2011
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May 18, 2011
Jared Lorenzen Doing Big Things with the UIFL, No Pun Intended
Jared Lorenzen is one of those people that I don’t know if we should be praising him for his weight or making fun of him for it. On the one hand, he’s huge. On the other, he’s always been huge and has still managed to have a somewhat successful football career — as a quarterback [...]
Via Larry Brown Sports
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May 18, 2011
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May 18, 2011
Looks Like Jared Lorenzen Is Still Eating Good
Jared Lorenzen has always been a big guy even going back to his college days at Kentucky. He also had a strong arm to go along with that big body. Lorenzen now plays for the Northern Kentucky River Monsters in the Ultimate Indoor Football League. And as you can see, Lorenzen has put on a little, or lot, more weight. He is listed as 6’6” 290, but I beg to differ. Lorenzen has...
Via No Guts, No Glory
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May 19, 2011
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May 19, 2011
Jared Lorenzen: The Fattest QB on Earth
Former Kentucky Quarterback Jared Lorenzen doesn’t look like a QB. In fact he looks more like the man who ate a Quarterback. He somehow still has a job with the Northern Kentucky River Monsters of the Ultimate Indoor Football League. Here is a clip of him smashing a defense like a bucket of KFC for brunch. My question is wouldn’t he be better career move for him to be a life...
Via The Husker
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May 18, 2011
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May 18, 2011
Jared Lorenzen, the River Monster
You remember Jared Lorenzen, right? The larger than life Kentucky quarterback. Many poked fun at Lorenzen for being the largest QB most had seen. That may or may not have been true then, but it certainly is now. Lorenzen is currently quarterbacking the Northern Kentucky River Monsters and has...well...uh...added some pounds. To his credit, he is still smaller than his offensive linemen...
Via The Bull Gator
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May 18, 2011
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May 18, 2011
Where are they now?: Part One
He weighs over 300 pounds. He’s been Kentucky’s Mr. Football, an MVP, and a Commissioner. Some have even wondered if his stomach has its own gravitational pull. He’s the most interesting man that ever threw a pass for Rich Brooks. He is Jared Lorenzen.
We don’t know if he drinks Dos Equis, but less than a decade ago, Lorenzen cemented himself as a Kentucky legend. In high...
Via StraitPinkie.com
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December 07, 2011
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December 07, 2011
Jared Lorenzen is Still Playing -- and Eating Footballs
This man has 69 TD passes this year, or one for every chinJared Lorenzen rose to prominence as a record setting quarterback at the University of Kentucky. The Hefty Lefty was known for having a cannon for an arm, wearing the number 22, and being so fat you'd think he ate the only other QB that wore 22, Doug Flutie.Even given his girth, Lorenzen had talent and actually was a back...
Via Three Idiots on Sports
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May 18, 2011
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May 18, 2011
Where are they now: Jared Lorenzen edition
In 2003, Jared Lorenzen was the starting quarterback for the Kentucky Wildcats. He set school records for total offense, passing yards and passing touchdowns. He was listed at 6'4" 260 pounds - large for a quarterback.
In 2005, Lorenzen made the New York Giants after going undrafted in 2004. He appeared in his first NFL regular season game in late 2006 and ran a quarterback...
Via It's Always Sunny in Detroit
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May 19, 2011
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May 19, 2011
Lettermen In The News: UK’s Lorenzen Drops GM Gig To Play QB
Kentucky’s Jared Lorenzen seemed to be moving on from football when he became the general manager of the Ultimate Indoor Football...
Via Lost Lettermen
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February 24, 2011
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February 24, 2011
Jared Lorenzen is back and fatter than ever
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Via StraitPinkie.com
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May 18, 2011
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May 18, 2011
Lettermen In The News: UK’s Lorenzen Shines In Arena League
Former Kentucky quarterback Jared Lorenzen was always a big guy. You may remember him nicknamed as the “Pillsbury Throwboy” and...
Via Lost Lettermen
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May 18, 2011
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May 18, 2011
Jared Lorenzen Highlights
Jared Lorenzen Highlights It takes a Big East blog to get you content for today, but in a sentence, here it is. Watch a fat man run a zone read. My gosh, it’s full of stars.
Via SEC Football Blogger
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May 18, 2011
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May 18, 2011
Jared Lorenzen’s Offensive Lineman Looks Like A Buffet Slayer
Back in April we broke the news that Jared Lorenzen was floating around the arena football world, looking like he’s ready for a scab position in the NFL. Suddenly the guy is getting more run from sports blogs and more photos are being taken of the gargantuan former New York Giants backup. But today we’re here to observe and appreciate the dude who’s responsible...
Via Busted Coverage
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May 18, 2011
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May 18, 2011
Jared Lorenzen Ate Jared Lorenzen
Jared Lorenzen, Now an Even Fatter Happy Fat Guy: The portly fella is currently playing in the UIFL. "Lorenzen initially was hired to be the River Monsters' general manager but got the itch to play again. He leads the UIFL in passing yards (256.6 yards per game) and efficiency (107.1 rating), and he is second [...]
Via The Big Lead
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May 18, 2011
Ok ESPN, If You’re Not Going To Use Your 24 Hours Of Programming To Do Something Constructive, We’ll Find A Station That Will
Being a breast man myself, I would have went with Jared Lorenzen, but hey, to each his own.
God damn does ESPN want to be a shitty, three week old blog sooooooooo bad. Up next, Jay Crawford and Wendi Nix discuss which National League outfielders are most like M.U.S.C.L.E. toys!
Via HHR.
Via Tirico Suave
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December 18, 2008
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December 18, 2008
The View From JaMarcus Russell’s Escalade Camera
Fatter: JaMarcus Russell or Jared Lorenzen?
Better ride: Stupid question
Flickr user iPhone recently released images of what is said to be JaMarcus Russell’s Escalade parked at some hotel in some town. Supposedly iPhone works as a valet and parked this freakish ride, sportin’ ‘26&...
Via Busted Coverage
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March 13, 2008
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March 13, 2008
Ex-UK QB Lorenzen Slams New UF OC
Former Kentucky quarterback Jared Lorenzen isn’t a fan of new Florida offensive coordinator...
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Via Lost Lettermen
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January 11, 2012
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January 11, 2012
Jared Lorenzen Is Your New Hefty Arena Football Starnf
Jared Lorenzen just got himself a big time football contract. He's headed back to the Blue Grass state to light up Rupp Arena with the Lexington Horseman of the Arena Football League 2. It's about time someone decided to sign up Jared Lorenzen to a football contract, donuts and beer do not pay for themselves. Poor Ole Lorenzen has been without a job thanks to the Indianapolis...
Via Simon On Sports
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February 17, 2009
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February 17, 2009
Drew Brees wears XXXXXL jersey in odd tribute to Jared Lorenzen
Via Sports Hernia
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February 04, 2009
The Least Surprising Picture of a Former SEC Quarterback You’ll See All Day
…that is unless photos of a bloated JaMarcus Russel holding a half eaten hoagie and a bottle of Tussin surface somewhere. Would you otherwise be shocked to find out that former Kentucky and New York Giants Quarterback Jared Lorenzen, he of such nicknames as “The Pilsbury Throwboy”, “The Battleship”, and “The round Mound of Touchdown”...
Via Friends of the Program
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May 18, 2011
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May 18, 2011
Lettermen In The News: UK’s Lorenzen Named UIFL Commish
No one would confuse former Kentucky quarterback Jared Lorenzen with Roger Goodell. But both of...
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Via Lost Lettermen
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July 24, 2011
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July 24, 2011
Exclusive Sage Rosenfels Interview
The third installment of our ongoing interview series is a truly groundbreaking interview. I was contacted by someone that aspires to greatness in girth. Although his current dimensions aren't record breaking, his superior skeletal structure shows potential for expansion. Without further delay, ...
Via Full Figured Fella
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March 05, 2009
Blog Roundup
The roundup is sponsored by Adriana Lima. If you have a link you want included, email me.Jared Lorenzen gets fatter. Is that even possible? {Deuce of Davenport}New NBA writer for Epic Carnival {Epic Carnival}Does Doug Flutie know something about spygate? {The Big Lead}The "play" in the Super Bowl {...
Via The World of Isaac
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March 10, 2008
It's Nice To See Jared Lorenzen Is Still Keepin' It Real...Real Big
Back in the day when the Georgia Bulldogs played the Kentucky Wildcats—post Tim couch, pre Andre Woodson—they had the displeasure of going up against Jared Lorenzen (AKA, pillsbury throwboy and the round mound of touchdown). He had a big arm, attached to a big body, and most Georgia players found his cushy mid-section was quite the bouncy house as they often just ricocheted right...
Via The Lady Sportswriter
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March 15, 2011
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March 15, 2011
Jared Lorenzen Has Nothing On This Kid
Today when Ellenville High School (NY) squares off against Sullivan West High in the Section 9 Class B championship they will led for the second straight game by 305lb senior QB Anthony Casamento. Isn't it every offensive lineman's dream to play QB? Sure probably not under these circumstances, with the starter being hurt and all, but we think it still has to be a thrill...
Via The Sports Point
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November 08, 2008
THE GIANTS HOT 25













