You have got to be kidding me - baseball has a three time offender of the drug policy! I figured you would have to have bad luck to be caught twice and just plain dumb to have it happen three times. Apparently, that does not apply to Neifi Perez. According to the AP, Tiger infielder Neifi Perez was suspended for 80 games Friday after testing positive for a third time for...

If you're a connoisseur of the work of Neifi Perez as I am–and as I know many longtime readers of The Cub Reporter are–you'll delight in this piece written by King Kaufman and posted at Salon.com. The story, an excerpt from "Top of the Order: 25 Writers Pick Their Favorite Baseball Player of All Time," is simply too delicious for me to recap here. I will just share this passage...

In his submission to Top of the Order, a collection of 25 tributes to 25 writers’ favorite players, former Salon and current Bleacher Report sporting columnist King Kaufman (@king_kaufman) celebrates the contributions of Neifi Perez to his (i.e. Kaufman’s) enjoyment of this great and honored game. Kaufman notes that, while he’s certainly been critical of Perez in...

My position on PED use is well-known to you guys by now. I think it's cheating. I think it has no place in baseball. While I don't think it can turn anyone into a decent baseball player (see, e.g. Neifi Perez; Jason Grimsely), I do think it can help guys who are ALREADY good players by making them s...

For the Rockies, a meaningful, late-season series in Denver is about as rare as a Neifi Perez home run. Come to think of it, a Neifi Perez home run is all you need to know about what the Mile High City can do to a visiting team's wild-card hopes. It was...

Lou's post-game comments last night on Fukudome: "From now on, I don't want to hear about Fukudome anymore as far as whether he's going to play or not," Piniella said when a reporter asked him about Fukudome's slump. "I'm going to play [Mike] Fontenot or Reed Johnson or somebody else, and that's the end of that story. The kid is struggling...

As part of the updates Joint Drug Agreement between MLB and the MLB Player’s Association (see the latest JDA), Bryan W. Smith, the Independent Program Administrator for MLB’s Joint Drug Prevention and Treatment Program today released his annual report detailing specifics over the past year, as it pertains to the 40-man rosters for the 30 MLB teams.(See the report from MLB and...

In a story every bit as surprising as Alex Sanchez doing steroids or Marcus Giles being heterosexual, word just broke that Ne!fi Perez has been suspended for testing positive for stimulants. From the AP story: "The Office of the Commissioner of Baseball announced on Friday that infielder Neifi Perez of the Detroit Tigers has been suspended 25 games, effective immediately...

While I was writing an e-mail about Barry Bonds to a Phillies fan, Jon tipped me off to the hottest news yet in the PED universe. Yes, Neifi Perez tested positive. My world has been torn asunder.

The final results are in and I tested negative!  Oh, wait, this is for the fantasy baseball leagues.  Um, yeah, ignore that first sentence.  This year in a not-so-unprecedented move of not-so-unprecedented size and enormity.  We’re giving away prizes to our fantasy league winners!  Last year we gave away a hot tub, but this year we did that one better.  We one-upped a hot...

The Office of the Commissioner of Baseball announced today that Tampa Bay Rays Minor League player Matthew Walker has received a 50-game suspension for testing positive for an amphetamine, a performance-enhancing substance, in violation of the Minor League Drug Prevention and Treatment Program.The suspension of Walker will be effective immediately. Walker is currently with Single...

The MLB All-Steroid team in wake of the '07 All-Star game...

Sometimes the best fantasy advice is the most simple.

If there's such a thing as someone feeling lonely when tens of thousands of people are screaming on your every move, then I suppose it would have to be a pitcher working on a no-hitter. Even when the TV announcers refuse to acknowledge the feat, as FSN's Mario Impemba and Rod Allen did last night, describing Justin Verlander's no-no at CoPa. Not once did the words...

Captained by the champion of mediocrity Neifi Perez, Bugs & Cranks takes a look at the players who shouldn't be players available in this year's free agent crop.

For the Rockies, a meaningful, late-season series in Denver is about as rare as a Neifi Perez home run. Come to think of it, a Neifi Perez home run is all you need to know about what the Mile High City can do to a visiting team's wild-card hopes. It was...

What is the sports equivalent of this? Neifi Perez saying that Nick Punto is a great hitter?Here's a video from Gawker of Tom Cruise talking about Scientology. I don't even have to comment.Even though I'm not quite over Green Bay's loss last weekend, I don't particularly mind Lawrence Tynes, since h...

Some fun links to kick off the weekend. I make fun of Neifi Perez for a while, Ryan Howard is a ladies man, I make fun of Kobe Bryant. All is good in the world.

(Apologies in advance if the readings from my crystal ball prove faulty. It's something about the neighborhood. Even the cable reception is erratic around here.)   by Paul Sullivan, Tribune Reporter2:17 p.m., CDT, May 6, 2010 PITTSBURGH – If you thought that watching his team lose to the perennial doormat Pirates, 9-3, on Wednesday night and plummet into the NL Central basement...

In honor of King Kaufman’s tribute to Neifi Perez, I was thinking it might be fun to start our own “Bad Baseball Hall of Fame.” I think it’s important to start, though, with a few thoughts about what it means to be a bad baseball player. And, for that, I think we need to start with Gookie Dawkins. Gookie Dawkins is probably the worst hitter I have ever seen in the Major...

So often in our baseball debates we’re searching for the best something: The best hitter of the 80s, the best pitcher of the pre-WWII era, etc. Yet rare is the occasion where we search out the worst player in a particular category or era. Sometimes that player jumps out at us and makes us notice; it’s the only reason that anyone knows Neifi Perez‘s name. But unless it is blatantly...

Since Friday of last week, MLB has suspended a total of six minor league players over three clubs (Pirates, Cardinals, and Angels) for performance-enhancing drugs, as part of the Minor League Drug Prevention and Treatment Program. All six players were given 50 game suspensions. On Friday, Pittsburgh Pirates Minor League players Roman Carrasco and Luis Figuera, both of whom are pitchers...

Friday March 26, 2010 Coming out of the University of Illinois Chris Robinson was considered the leading catcher in the Big 10 Conference. His arm graded plus and considered his best tool. He lead the league (Big 10) in throwing out base-runners (43%) and pickoffs (seven). Offensively his bat was decent with average power and he ran well for a catcher. The Detroit...

As had been rumored, the Cubs have gone and designated Luis Vizcaino for assignment and promoted Jeff Samardzija. Vizcaino has 72 hours to clear waivers and then the Cubs have 7 days to trade or release him. Vizcaino is owed $3.5M for 2009, some of which has already been paid by the Cubs, plus he had a $4M option for 2010 with a $500K buyout, which I believe the Cubs are still...

Troy Tulowitzki hit for the cycle on Monday night vs the Chicago Cubs.  I’m sure the news has trickled all the way around the country by now. It was the fifth cycle in Rockies history.  Others: Dante Bichette (1998), Neifi Perez (1998),  Todd Helton (1999), and Mike Lansing (2000). It was the sixth cycle of the 2009 season. Others:  Orlando Hudson, Ian Kinsler, Jason Kubel...