http://www.yardbarker.com/blog/OutOfYourLeague/home Recent OutOfYourLeague Posts en-us I know this isn’t a sports post, but in keeping with the general theme of the blog (that is, talking about things that matter), I’d like to take this opportunity to say something very important. If you really take a moment to think about Conversation Hearts, you will hate Valentine’s Day more than you already do. Guys, if you consider this candy a legitimate romantic gesture, you have waived your right to complain that your girlfriend is a moron. You set the bar pretty low. Ladies, if you likewise consider the gift as “sweet,” you are the reason for the female wage gap. If you take a moment to think about what these chalky snacks actually say, you will understand what I mean: “Be Mine” "You will be mine and you are not allowed to talk to anyone else. You are essentially my slave starting now." "In about a month and a half, I'm going to start getting really jealous that you have guy friends and wear incredibly revealing outfits. Thus, I decided to just flirt with you in Mon, 13 Feb 2012 12:11:41 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/blog/outofyourleague/article/conversation_hearts_a_linguistic_analysis/9899947 http://www.yardbarker.com/blog/outofyourleague/article/conversation_hearts_a_linguistic_analysis/9899947 Conversation Hearts: A Linguistic Analysis http://www.yardbarker.com/blog/outofyourleague/article/conversation_hearts_a_linguistic_analysis/9899947 http://www.yardbarker.com/images/yb_logo_square_grey.png Yesterday started out like any ordinary day: I woke up resenting the fact that I’m in law school and ultimately tried to numb the pain with alcohol. But unlike most nights, I didn’t fall asleep on the couch watching reality TV. On February 10th, 2012, we celebrated the birth of a bro: Conor Flahive. Like any good friend, I knew this week was Conor’s birthday.* Those who know Conor know that he is a manchild who appreciates the finer things. He requested that all of his friends and some of his acquaintances take time out of their Friday nights to parade around town just because he was born. Further, he requested bottle service. I laughed at him. As a joke, I bought him a handle of UV Vodka (Cake-flavored, per hac vice). I made him pick me up at my house because his birthday was already inconveniencing enough. The night started off casually with a viewing of YouTube videos and some informal shots. We took a cab downtown. More drinks, more things about Conor, etc. Then, someone suggested Fluxx. For tho Sat, 11 Feb 2012 17:29:00 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/blog/outofyourleague/article/conors_broday_a_tale_of_twists_turns_and_way_too_much_vodka/9877804 http://www.yardbarker.com/blog/outofyourleague/article/conors_broday_a_tale_of_twists_turns_and_way_too_much_vodka/9877804 Conor’s Broday: A Tale of Twists, Turns, and Way Too Much Vodka http://www.yardbarker.com/blog/outofyourleague/article/conors_broday_a_tale_of_twists_turns_and_way_too_much_vodka/9877804 http://www.yardbarker.com/images/yb_logo_square_grey.png Sun, 05 Feb 2012 13:41:27 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/blog/outofyourleague/article/and_another_thing_ladies_sports_themed_food/9778141 http://www.yardbarker.com/blog/outofyourleague/article/and_another_thing_ladies_sports_themed_food/9778141 And another thing, ladies: sports-themed food http://www.yardbarker.com/blog/outofyourleague/article/and_another_thing_ladies_sports_themed_food/9778141 http://www.yardbarker.com/images/yb_logo_square_grey.png As is fairly obvious, I am what most people refer to as a Tomboy. I’m not sure how I ended up this way, but it probably has something to do with the fact that I’m one of the most competitive people in the universe, I grew up in one of America’s greatest sports cities, and I like to see people lose. I threw a tantrum when my parents painted my childhood bedroom pink. As a cheerleader, I got in trouble for paying more attention to the games than to the cheers. I’ve always had more male friends than “gal pals.” Don’t get me wrong. I’m a (self-proclaimed) stylish dresser; I’ve seen every episode of Sex and the City; I get a manicure at least once every two weeks, and my girl friends are fantastic. But somewhere along the line, I became more interested in Allen Iverson than Malibu Barbie, and I haven’t looked back. The Super Bowl is one of the only sporting events that most women actually watch. To avoid being accusatory, I won’t guess the reasons for this (e.g. “It’s an excuse for a par Thu, 02 Feb 2012 01:19:32 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/blog/outofyourleague/article/a_girls_guide_to_sports/9723076 http://www.yardbarker.com/blog/outofyourleague/article/a_girls_guide_to_sports/9723076 A Girl’s Guide to Sports http://www.yardbarker.com/blog/outofyourleague/article/a_girls_guide_to_sports/9723076 http://www.yardbarker.com/images/yb_logo_square_grey.png 1. Maybe I Won’t Send My Future Children to Sports Camp, After All. When I was younger, I played a ton of sports. Now I watch them on TV. This is just how life works when you have a busy schedule, take up smoking, and realize that the Nike billboards have lied. You probably are not “Bigger.Better.Faster.Stronger.” No matter how hard you try, you almost certainly won’t be good enough to play a sport professionally. I guess that’s when you take your self-deprecation to law school… I digress. I learned valuable lessons from sports: the importance of teamwork; the payoff of commitment; the relevance of Jock Jams to the 20th Century. I even spent many fun summers turning my mediocre skills into athleticism. Kudos to my parents, right? WRONG. In hindsight, it would appear that the Bed Intruder was right: they be rapin’ everybody out there. My kids can’t be altar boys. They can’t be, well, losers. And now THIS? What’s left? What happens when they turn 13 and I just want to spend a week in Ca Sat, 31 Dec 2011 19:58:50 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/blog/outofyourleague/article/what_ive_learned_from_sports_in_2011/9052501 http://www.yardbarker.com/blog/outofyourleague/article/what_ive_learned_from_sports_in_2011/9052501 What I’ve Learned From Sports in 2011 http://www.yardbarker.com/blog/outofyourleague/article/what_ive_learned_from_sports_in_2011/9052501 http://www.yardbarker.com/images/yb_logo_square_grey.png After being asked over 20 times, “When are you going to blog about PSU?,” I have finally surrendered. But I need to preface this post with one statement: it’s not being publicized as much out here as it is on the East Coast. Sure, I’ve seen some things on SportsCenter; I’ve proactively sought out some articles on the internet… but luckily, I don’t have to see ignorant students chanting outside of JoePa’s home on the evening news. What happened is horrible. I can analogize my feelings simply: I felt this way (well, much worse) when a similar scandal happened in the Catholic Church. I am Catholic; I am a football fan; I am disgusted; I will not let my loyalty to a belief or an activity define how I react to these situations. I have morals and I let those, not the institution inked on my diploma, guide my life. In my opinion, the best measure of maturity can be described by one simple question: “Do you challenge your beliefs and morals on a consistent basis?” If the answer is yes, you get Fri, 11 Nov 2011 15:21:48 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/blog/outofyourleague/article/we_are_a_team_in_big_trouble_penn_state/8028733 http://www.yardbarker.com/blog/outofyourleague/article/we_are_a_team_in_big_trouble_penn_state/8028733 WE ARE!! ... A TEAM IN BIG TROUBLE (PENN STATE!) http://www.yardbarker.com/blog/outofyourleague/article/we_are_a_team_in_big_trouble_penn_state/8028733 http://www.yardbarker.com/images/yb_logo_square_grey.png