Yardbarker: James Shields

The Media Circus

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 02:59:16 -0500

When ESPN announced in October that they had ponied up several million to obtain the services of Rick Reilly, we paid tribute by highlighting one of Reilly's most impressive accomplishments while at Sports Illustrated ? racking up seven similes/metaphors in one single column about Tim Wakefield's knuckleball.

Now that he's over at ESPN, we wanted to check in on his progress. Seven columns in and we're only counting nine total similes and metaphors?

the game made him meaner than a dyspeptic rattler

is like rooting for the salmon to eat the bear

That's more one-sided than a Venezuelan election.

But it's like watching a thresher go through wheat.

start going through cash like Jack Black through the Keebler factory

They burn money like the Pentagon

Those are the kinds of guys who will suck up your dough like a street-sweeper

Where do you start in a place that has more history than Barbara Walters' closet?

He is more fun than a Dubai expense account

That's only 1.28 per column. Not worth $2 million annually if you ask us. So if the rhetorical tropes have gone by the wayside, what exactly is ESPN getting for their money?

Poems.

Hey, Simmons got a cartoon, why shouldn't Reilly get to recite golf poetry on TV? ESPN sure treats its columnists well.

Crap that actually came from somebody's mouth

"Ronnie Wiseman is an American Idol. He's handsome and charming." - Billiards 9 Ball Championship color analyst

For the record, Ronnie Wiseman looks like this, and our un-named analyst is a man (not that there's anything wrong with that).
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"His cue is slashed to the side." - Billiards color guy

Nobody likes it when their cue is slashed.
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"Dwight Freeney (is) the most game-planned defensive player in the National Football League."- Mark Schlereth

It's always a joy to welcome the Big Savvy, Mark Schlereth, back into the Media Circus - especially when he continues to create new categories for superlatives.
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"Everyone has to make a living man."- John Madden, on Frank Caliendo's Madden impression

In an ironic twist, Madden offered the same answer when asked what he thought of announcers with different colored eye brows than their hair who make sounds and noises and rarely speak in coherent sentences.

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"If there's one reason Tampa Bay is where they are it's because James Shields has allowed it and also the bullpen." - Eduardo Perez, Baseball Tonight

And if there's one reason we've chosen to pick on Eduardo Perez it's because he sits next to John Kruk and because he can't count.

Official Sponsors for Billiards Tournament Officially Out of Control

In another sign that advertising has a firm grasp of the sports landscape, the "2008 GenerationPool.com 9-Ball Championship" - which sounds an awful lot like an inferior college bowl game - aired on ESPN this past weekend, and with that showcased an array of sponsors that would make an NFL or MLB radio broadcast jealous. In no particular order, the tournament featured:

Official table Sponsor: Olhausen billiard Mfg., Inc.

Official cue Sponsor: Sterling-Fury Cues

Official cloth Sponsor: Sterling-Milliken Super Pro

Official Furniture Sponsor: Mikhail Darafeev

Official ball Sponsor: Aramith

Closed Captioning Sponsor: PoolDawg.com

Rotational Signage Sponsor: American Poolplayers Association

Rotational Signage Sponsor: CueSight.com

Hall of Fame Reception Sponsor: Sterling Gaming

VIP Reception Sponsor: Sterling-Fury Cues

Lest we forget the title sponsor, GenerationPool.com, and DELTA-13, the official sponsor of the GenerationPool.com 9-Ball Championship rack. If only we could get a sponsor pinned down for Janet Lee's rack...

Her pool rack, perverts.

Media Rant - Media Plays Dance, Dance Revolution while Watching Dirty Dancing

If nothing else, the mainstream sports media is enjoyable because of its shear predictability. Case in point the Dolphins trade of Jason Taylor to the Redskins, and the subsequent barrage of obvious one liners pertaining to Taylor's foray this past off-season on Dancing With the Stars.

In no more than five minutes, the Media Circus team discovered the following anecdotes from our online media friends:

"The dumbstruck Redskins didn't just need Taylor, they suddenly had to have the world's most famous dancing Dolphin since Flipper." - Don Banks, SI

"The 'Skins needed Jason Taylor. But if 2008 is his last dance, Alex Marvez says they'll regret dealing for the disgruntled Dolphin."- Foxsports.com

"Simply stated, at least Taylor has hope for a Super Bowl appearance as his NFL career winds down. That beats the alternative ? staying with the Dolphins for his last NFL dance."- Alex Marvez

"Jason Taylor is on the verge of dancing on over to the Washington Redskins."- Jay Glazer

"It's not abnormal to see Washington Capitals forward Alex Ovechkin cheering Gilbert and gang along or to see your new fellow teammates at a Caps game or two. Join in; it's not the dance floor, but the fans will love you for it."- Drew Costley, ESPN Mag

"Stay away from politics?life's confusing enough and you don't need any talking head analyzing how many dance steps you made with your right foot instead of your left."- Costley, ESPN Mag

"Jason Taylor can dance, but he apparently couldn't talk Andre Carter out of No. 99. So rather than have a dance-off for the right to No. 99, the six-time Pro Bowl defensive end, acquired on Sunday from Miami, will be wearing No. 55 for the Redskins."- Corey Masisak, Washington Post

"Jason Taylor Dancing With New Team." - Access Hollywood

Whether he's dancing with a new team, participating in a dance-off, or playing in the last dance of his career, it's safe to say Taylor will be missed by the mainstream media. We suppose Emmitt Smith will need to get arrested in a drug bust so he can dance his way to prison.

If that doesn't happen, it's more than okay to supply a joke about Johnny Castle. Man that guy could really move.

Bob Carpenter Memorial Snappy Line

If there's one thing that Bob Carpenter loves, it's good neighbors. The world would be a better place if everyone threw out a 'howdy' and offered their neighbor a cool glass of lemonade when they saw them. So needless to say, Carpenter has always been fond of the famous State Farm jingle about being a good neighbor. Mix it with a snappy line and now we're talking...

"Like a good neighbor, Hank Blalock is there."- Stan Verett

Have cyber glass of lemonade and two thumbs up on the Bobber, Stan.

The Media Circus is written by Josh Bacott and Pat Imig. They swear this stuff is real. E-mail them at info@joesportsfan.com

Not even True Rays fans can believe their good fortune

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 15:00:57 -0500

The playoffs in July? It sure felt like it on Wednesday watching Tampa's raucous crowd will their high flying Rays to a spectacular comeback and a surprising sweep of the reigning champ Red Sox. The win pushed Tampa Bay's lead in the East to an impressive 3.5 games. It was time. Time to talk to the top Rays fan site on the net. That's where R.J. Anderson of DRaysBay comes in. Anderson has been with DRaysBay since August 2006 and says he got into baseball "right before the Rays came around." Before that, he was a Braves fan. Anderson hails from the Tampa area and writes for Beyond the Boxscore, and has had his work featured on Deadspin and The Hardball Times. Without further adieu: the interview in it's glorious entirety. Scott Jacobs: Have you pinched yourself to make sure everything happening right now is real? I mean, the Tampa Bay Rays have the best record in baseball. As the Senior Editor of DRaysBay, how does it feel to finally have a winning team to talk about? R.J. Anderson: No way, I don't want this to end whether it be a dream or real. It feels a bit odd, honestly after all the losing seasons you start becoming numb to the results of games, and it's not because you don't care about the team and whether they win, but more of self protection. This is the first time in a long time that I, and really the entire fan base, can live and die with this team every night. SJ: Who would have thought that the Rays could supplant the Yankees as Sportscenter's number one crush of the week? ESPN has been all over you guys, and for good reason. How's it feel to have all this attention (positive attention) placed on a team that has known nothing but failure? RJ: It brings a smile to my face. Of course then someone will take a potshot at our fan base, which is growing, and it causes me to turn the channel. I don't think the Florida Marlins or Oakland Athletics fans get called to go to the park every night, and it's not even the Rays fans who don't go, it's the Yankee and Red Sox fans or even Cubs fans who live here and won't support the home team, at least not until the Rays are winning. SJ: Obviously the Rays are having their breakout year in 2008, but its been 10 years in the making. When did this turnaround really begin? And by turnaround I mean when was it evident, regardless of record, that Tampa Bay was starting to turn the corner? RJ: It's pretty hard to place a date on it because there isn't a definitive point, this is more like the Renaissance, or if I can throw a cheap pun out there, the Raynessiance. Stuart Sternberg and the new regime took over in November 2005, so that's a possible date, but if you want the moment us fans began thinking of this club different it was last July when the team dealt for Grant Balfour and Dan Wheeler within a few days of each other, suddenly they weren't dealing major leaguers for minor leaguers anymore. Perhaps November 18th as well when the team announced stadium plans and the trade of Delmon Young to the Twins. SJ: Tampa Bay's notorious, along with the Marlins, for having really bad fans and attendance numbers. Yesterday's game against Boston was the 4th sellout of the season. So my question is this: are the fans finally here to stay, or is this just a tease of what could one day be? RJ: I wouldn't say "really bad fans", I would say "fewer", the fans the Rays have aren't bad fans, they've supported a team that many would've given up on, and most Rays fans have a great grasp on the game itself. As for the attendance, look, the 1991 Braves went from 65 wins to 94 and their attendance jumped from 12,100 per game to 26,422. Right now our attendance is just shy of 21,000 in a 36,000 seat stadium, Atlanta-Fulton County Stadium sat nearly 50,000 as a football stadium that hosted baseball. Going purely be capacity measures the Rays are filling up nearly 59% of the place, the Braves had that great run and at the end of the season filled up around 53% of their stadium. Are they here to stay? I'll say yes, but only because I don't expect the bandwagon to empty anytime soon. SJ: Tampa's got great pitching, very good defense, a solid bullpen, and they love to steal bases. Sounds a heck of lot like the 2003 Florida Marlins. That team as you may recall won the World Series. See any similarities between this year's Rays and the 03 Marlins? What team would you compare this Rays squad to? RJ: I think the 2003 Marlins are a fair comparison. Both teams had a young star step up after opening day with Miguel Cabrera and Evan Longoria, both had a pretty legitimate top three of the rotation – I mean look back at that rotation and tell me how they wouldn't be expected to win every year if not for injuries – but they didn't have a very good defense. The 1994 Montreal Expos fit us better in regards that they had a really good defense, no true "star" players, a bunch of somewhat young guys with good seasons, and came out of nowhere. SJ: The trading deadline is fast approaching, and some interesting names have been linked to the Rays: C.C. Sabathia and Ken Griffey Jr. being the biggest When it's all said and done, and the trading deadline has passed, is it realistic to think the Rays will have made a trade for a big name player, or are they going to stick to their young guys 'paving the way' approach? RJ: It's realistic to think they could, but they won't, and it's not because of money – although I don't know if there's a team out there that can re-sign Sabathia straight up before he touches the free agent market. The Rays have built this persona around their motto "We Are One Team" and I don't see them bringing in a guy like Griffey Jr. because A) he's not going to help this team outside of the veteran presence non-sense people toss around and B) he's not good value. The people who run this team are former Wall Street honchos, think Billy Beane to the extreme. They're going to find someone who is undervalued but can help this team and they're going to acquire him for less than they should be able to, and then they're going to look like geniuses when he works out. They understand the market and real player value very well. SJ: Everybody's talking about what Tampa Bay is doing well. And for good reason. But in order to sustain their success throughout the second half, what doe the Rays need to improve on? RJ: The pitching and defense have been stellar, but the offense has only been average. I'm not sure if it's something the team can improve on outside of acquiring someone, but they need for progression to strike Carlos Pena and Carl Crawford. If those two can get going with B.J. Upton, Evan Longoria, and Eric Hinske having their seasons, this lineup could jolt up from middle of the pack very quickly. SJ: The Rays have long been one of the saddest franchises in pro sports. They changed their look, and their logo this year, and ditched "Devil", now fining media members 1 dollar every time they say the word. Clearly they're serious about the new image, but how much of an impact do you think their new look has had on the turnaround of this team? RJ: I'm not sure if it had any affect, although the players love the unis, this team – or perhaps the franchise's – mindset changed November 2005. To paraphrase something Chuck LaMar said: the only thing that was separating this organization from being recognized as one of the best was the results on the field. The team name and colors didn't matter until the team got good. SJ: And uh, speaking of the uniforms, why are the Rays too afraid to put "Tampa Bay" on any of their jerseys? What's up with that? RJ: The organization says its to build the new identity more, and I believe MLB rules prohibit changing the home/away jerseys within a year of each other, so what the plan seems to be is introducing a new uniform with RAYS on it, and then in 2010 implementing Tampa Bay on the road unis. SJ: What's the prognosis for Tampa the rest of the way? Can they win the AL East? Is it still hard to believe that you're even getting asked this? RJ: It's easy to say the team will win the division, but frankly I'm not sure I can wrap my mind around that quite yet. Let's say they break the franchise wins record (70) and after that all bets are off.

Tampa Bay Rays are the New .... ?

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 03:51:02 -0500

The Tampa Bay Rays have taken the AL East and all of baseball by storm. They are attempting to go from worst-to-first as has happened only a few times in the past. But the Rays remind us...remind us A LOT...of another media darling that took the sport by storm. See how similar these two teams really are...

The Freaking Tampa Bay Rays

Tue, 01 Jul 2008 15:58:26 -0500

I am a diehard Yankee fan, pinstripes in my blood. But the Tampa Bay Rays are for real, and it is throwing my world off. Today is July 1. July 1 and the best record in baseball belongs to the Rays. I can't even write that without cringing a bit. The worst part is, as the Yankees are attempting to regroup, use players from within the system, and get younger, the Rays have already done it, and are winning with it. They drafted well, picking up players like Andy Sonnanstine, Delmon Young, B.J. Upton, Carl Crawford, Josh Hamilton, Elijah Dukes, Jason Hammel, Jonny Gomes, James Shields, and Evan Longoria. Young was traded to get Matt Garza. And also their was the raping of the Mets in the Scott Kazmir deal. Bringing in veteran relievers Dan Wheeler, Al Reyes, Troy Percival and Trever Miller, has helped anchor a solid bullpen that isn't hurting the young rotation. More so the team believes in themselves, they believe they can win against any opponent, anywhere. All of the credit goes to Joe Maddon and his coaching staff, for telling these guys they can win, and then making them believe it. Case and point, the Red Sox. The "favorite" for the World Series this season, they have struggled against Tampa, having been swept earlier this season and having lost last night to end June. I don't know what it is but these Rays are just plain throwing the baseball world for a loop. And I like it.

Red Sox v Rays: It's Clobberin' Time!

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 12:12:55 -0500

The Red Sox and Rays will get back to business tonight in the Trop... get a preview of this battle for 1st place in the AL East at The Bottom Line!

Tampa Bay Rays: Best Team in Baseball (as of now)

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 11:43:29 -0500

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, fans around the world, mark this day on your calendars, Monday, June 30, 2008, the last day of the month of June and the Tampa Bay Rays are the best team in Major League Baseball. You heard correct…with their 49-32 record, and .605 win percentage, the Rays not only have the best record in the AL East, they have the best record in baseball. To be a winnings team, you must dominate at home while maintaining .500 on the road. The Rays are 30-13 at Tropicana Field and 19-19 on the road, certainly a recipe for success. Honestly, would anybody ever believe that the Rays would one day be the best team in baseball? Maybe not, but it's true, damn true. I guess being the worst team in baseball for the past decade and receiving great prospects eventually pays off.

Break Out the Brooms

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 14:56:00 -0500

Thursday was a day for sweeps as eight different teams broke out the brooms against their foes. The biggest of them all was probably Tampa Bay which continued its franchise-best season by finishing off the Cubs powered by Carl Crawford. There are also some nice fantasy options in obscure places (BAL, SD) if you look hard enough.

Cubs at Rays open game thread

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 19:54:14 -0500

B-REF PREVIEW | GAMEDAY | WEATHER | ACB CHAT ROOM James Shields vs. Cubs hitters: 1-14 (Reed Johnson 1-9) Sean Gallagher vs. Rays hitters: never faced him When & Where: 6:10 pm, Tampa Bay, CSN

Papelbon: Red Sox Seek Revenge on Rays

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 16:58:51 -0500

Key Word: REVENGE Just as the dust was settling and the coast was clear, Jonathan Papelbon opened his mouth and set the field ablaze once again regarding the Rays / Red Sox dirty feud. -"In my opinion, it's a bunch of bull what they did... All I got to say is what comes around goes around, man. Payback's a b****, I'll tell you what." During the June 4th game between these two clubs, Red Sox center-fielder Coco Crisp complained about Rays' shortstop Jason Bartlett blocking second base during a steal which led to Crisp later deliberately taking out Rays' second-basemen Akinori Iwamura's legs. This tiny revenge led to a scuffle of words between Crisp and Rays' manager Joe Maddon as Crisp entered the dugout. The following day, Jason Shields threw a revenge pitch directly at Coco Crisps waist (note: Not Head or anywhere near his upper part of his body). Coco then, to the apparent surprise of the Red Sox dugout, charged the mound, successfully dodged a right punch by Shields and got mauled by Jonny Gomes, Dioner Navarro, Akinori Iwamura and BJ Upton and the rest of the Rays. As for the aftermath comments made by these two teams go, it seems that the two clubs are coming at this in totally different ways. Red Sox are seeking revenge while the Rays have kept quiet. -After the game, Coco Crisp told reporters that, "they [The Rays] acted like little girls..." and went on and on. -Days later, Rays' Manager Joe Maddon came out and said he defends what his team did and is actually proud of the way they handled the situation. He was happy that his team defended his pitcher and was able to take control of the situation. -Wednesday, June 18th, Red Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon sings to Mohegan Sun Sports Tonight about the Red Sox seeking revenge. It might be easier for a pitcher to come out and say stuff like that since they aren't stepping into the batter's box and facing 90+mph fastballs that could be aimed at their head. Maybe he is just drawing this whole feud out for the sake of pumping his team up, knowing that last time the Sox came to Tampa Bay they were swept. Who knows? All I know is that I have cleared my schedule for the June 30th-July 2nd Red Sox vs. Rays series in Tampa Bay. Revenge is supposedly sought, I cannot miss that, and neither should you! Note: The brawl ended up in 8 suspensions

MLB Status Check (6/12)

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 08:12:08 -0500

Screaming Sports' Billy Smith checks in on some of the mega-hyped offseason stars, as well as the not-so-hyped offseason stars. Who is living up to it? Who isn't? And who is coming out of left field? Billy has all of those answers for you.

Jonathan Papelbon tells Rays" Payback's a bitch."

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 07:44:56 -0500

Red Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon says the feud between the Red Sox and the Rays is far from over... get the video at The Bottom Line.

Jonathan Papelbon tells Rays" Payback's a bitch."

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 07:42:51 -0500

Red Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon says the feud with the Rays is far from over... get the video at The Bottom Line.

Country Joe And The (Devilish) Rays

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 18:26:02 -0500

I realize these things — beanballs and imperialism — are all part of the American way, but some traditions are just really, really bad and need to end. Using implements of destruction — specifically a baseball at 85 MPH, or a missile — to send some kind of message to your opponent is ridiculously dangerous for the game of baseball and the country.

Jon Lester Thinks MLB is Stupid

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 17:20:50 -0500

I may have been harsh on Jon Lester in the past, but I'm actually here to defend the guy. When the suspensions for the Coco Crisp/James Shields brawl came down, there was one I couldn't quite understand: Jon Lester, five games. Where the heck was he in the fight? Nowhere, far as [...]

James Shields hits select button too soon, misses knockout

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 10:22:34 -0500

(funny picture of the James Shields-Coco Crisp fight) You gotta let him come in a little closer before you hit the 'select' button James, otherwise you're just wasting that power punch. It's like preparing for Don Flamenco's deceptive jab or Bald Bull's insane charge, timing is everything.