Yardbarker: Tim Couch

Frownie Foto: Tim Couch Does the Dew

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 11:32:00 -0500

Our photo essay capturing last Sunday's NFL Game Day scene in Cleveland will be posted this afternoon by around 3. In the meantime, have a look at this gem submitted by loyal reader and sometimes powerhouse commenter Scrapes, snapped this morning at York Road Automotive Service, Inc. in North Royalton: On one hand, this reminds us of the just-in-case Championship celebration t-shirts for the eventual losers that end up being shipped to Africa and found ...

Matt Bush’s Pathetic DUI Crying Video, Resists Arrest

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 05:17:14 -0500

Matt Bush has really turned himself into a first-class laughing stock. Here’s the deal: if you’re a former first-round bust but you do it quietly like Tim Couch or Brian Bullington, you’re not going to catch much crap. But if you’re a total jerk about it like Ryan Leaf or Matt Bush, we [...]

Happy Tim Couch Day (10 year anniversery)

Fri, 17 Apr 2009 14:07:44 -0500

On this fateful date, 10 years ago Tim Couch was selected #1 by the Browns. And in memory of that I would like to wish everyone a Happy Tim Couch day, so dust off that old” Timmy C” jersey or tee and wear it proudly today!! Editorial Note: I do not think that Tim Couch was a great QB by any means, this is more of a joke.

For the Browns - It’s the Drama of Another Top 5 Pick!

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 09:05:37 -0500

In the 1999 draft the Cleveland Browns select…. Tim Couch. Ten years later and with the fifth pick in the draft the Cleveland Browns select …… Who is going to be the next Cleveland Brown draft pick? We don’t know who it is going to be today but that player is going to make a [...]

Worst Man Drafted Tournament: Who are the Worst Draft Picks of All-Time?

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 15:27:05 -0500

Here at FanSided, we have taken the idea of March Madness to a new level. We are hosting our own little tournament - the Worst Man Drafted (WMD) Tournament. Here’s the rundown, courtesy of NFL Mocks: What is the Worst Man Drafted (WMD) Tournament? To celebrate March Madness, the FanSided.com sports network compiled a field of the 64 worst NFL Draft busts of all time. A blogger from each NFL team nominated their team’s worst two draft picks of all time. 32 teams x 2 = 6...

Tim Couch’s Hooters Gal And Bulls–t Honeymoon Mandates. The KSK Football/Sex Advice Mailbag

Thu, 15 Jan 2009 17:29:09 -0500

Before we get to your questions for the week, I wanted to quickly point out this most excellent story about Tim Couch from the comments yesterday. In case you missed it, commenter

The Way-Back Machine: NFL Draft Recaps

Thu, 08 Jan 2009 12:52:58 -0500

While we ponder who exactly will be making the decisions for a team that desperately needs to improve in several key areas come the 2009 NFL Draft , WhoDeyRevolution decided to remind us all

Problems With the Draft

Thu, 08 Jan 2009 03:22:49 -0500

After dinner in Malibu on Sunday (same place I met John McEnroe), I jumped in my car and headed back home to Scottsdale. I arrived having forgotten/lost the remote to open the gate (to my community) and for some reason, the key to my front door was missing (lost over the bye week). Fortunately, I was able sneak past the gate by tailgating another resident (impenetrable security!) and located a key. My dad wouldn't have appreciated me knocking on his door at 3 a.m. He's kinda old.

The following night, some buddies and I were watching the Fiesta Bowl at a local watering hole. With two minutes left on the clock, suddenly a football game broke out. With Texas behind, their friendly "Heisman hopeful" quarterback got back on the field. I recognized the situation an announced to the table, "Texas will win and McCoy will be a top ten draft pick."

A barrage of jokes ensued -- from how many dollars-per-throw McCoy was making to which QB bust he most resembled. After my predicted conclusion was realized, my friend said to the TV, "Congratulations, now you're Tim Couch!" Another friend threw out "Akili Smith!" Then the name of the master of all QB busts rang out, "RYAN LEAF!" We all laughed, but I defended them. It's not their fault they got drafted so high.

In all seriousness, I wish Colt McCoy the best. Hell, maybe he'll end up on the 49ers? But it did get me thinking about some of the problems with the draft.

First, no draft pick can single handedly save a franchise. Organizations and fans expect too much from young players. Young players do not save franchises, franchises save young players.

For example, Terrell Suggs, a great player and friend (and fellow Arizona State alumni), was drafted by the Baltimore Ravens. During his rookie year, T. Sizzle's primary responsibility was rushing the passer on third downs. As he improved, under the tutelage of a great defense (coaches and players), he took on more responsibility. Now he's a Pro Bowler and considered one of the best in the NFL. Here is the kicker: had he been drafted by the Arizona Cardinals instead of the Ravens, he would have been Andre Wadsworth. Great college player, big, strong, fast, all the potential in the world., but just did not work out. I have all the respect in the world for Andre Wadsworth?.it's not his fault he got drafted by the Cardinals in the '90s.

Another problem with the draft is that having a high pick is a liability for the teams. The NFL draft should have a cap and all contracts should expire in three years. For example, the number one overall pick should get at most a three year $12 million contract. After that time he would be a restricted free agent and either get paid or "get out of the league."

One more thing, to avoid overpaying free agents and veteran players, many of whom lose their ability and/or interest in playing football (veteran players are safer picks than the draft but still risky). The NFL needs to significantly increase minimum salaries.

Let's start with the notion that each player contributes to the team (both helping the team win and generating revenue). Some contribute more than others. The top eight to ten guys on each team should make significantly more that the rest of the players. But how much more? If football really is the ultimate team game, can one player's contract be worth $100 million when his teammates is worth only $300,000?

NFL owners should jump at the opportunity to increase minimum salaries because that would reduce the risk of signing high priced free agents, because there would be less money under the cap to pay to any one individual player.

In an ideal "fantasy world," where fair was the law of the land, each player would contribute equally and would receive an equal percentage of the salary cap ($116,000,000 / 53 players = $2,188,679.25). But in the "real world" life is not fair, teams do not spent the full available amount, and as we established earlier, not all players contribute equally.

So what should we base the minimum salaries on? At the very least, every team must pay out a certain amount in player salaries (the "Minimum Total Salary" which was $98.8 million in 2008). If we take 20% off the top to use as an additional compensation pool for key players (in addition to the remaining cap space should the team choose to use it), we have about $79 million for base salaries ("the Base Salary Pool").

The average length of an NFL playing career is 3.5 years; by the eighth year, a player is an established veteran. Under my proposal, all players who play for eight years or more would earn a minimum salary equal to 1/53 of the Base Salary Pool ($79,000,000 / 53 = $1491,320.75). Reduce the salary by $100,000 for each year less than eight, and rookies would make $791,320.75.

That way if a player plays for the average length of time (3.5 years) and makes a minimum salary, instead of making $1,370,000 he would make $3,219,623.63.

With $116 million dollar cap, signing bonuses would still be tens of millions of dollars for the highest priced players, but the rest of the players would make significantly more money. Both the players and the NFL should work to increase minimum salaries to ensure a bright future for the NFL owners, players, and fans.

Now that I've solved that problem, I need to find a dog walker in Scottsdale for my dog... I'm meeting my brother for lunch tomorrow, and if I don't go see my mom by the end of the week then she'll bring out the wooden spoon again (ouch).

Here is a picture of my version of unpacking... I guess I still have some "putting away" to do!

Tim Couch hates your blogging anonymity

Mon, 10 Mar 2008 14:00:15 -0500

Former number-one pick Tim Couch wants to make a team. Kentucky Representative Tim Couch wants to make anonymous posting online illegal.

Where Is That "New Browns" Quarterback Now?: Tim Couch

Fri, 28 Dec 2007 01:08:49 -0500

Find out about Tim Couch and his hot wife.

Proof steroids are overrated - NFL suspends a retired Tim Couch

Wed, 03 Oct 2007 04:37:34 -0500

"A league source tells us that defensive end Kenard Lang and quarterback Tim Couch have been suspended for six games by the NFL. The suspensions apparently arise from the policy against anabolic steroids and related substances." Both guys are out of the NFL and the league still suspends them. Unbelievable!

In Honor of the End of Tim Couch's Career, The Angry T Unveils the All-Bust Team

Tue, 21 Aug 2007 06:09:42 -0500

The sad odyssey of Tim Couch may finally be over as Tim was released by the Jacksonville Jaguars this weekend. In honor of Tim's last dash effort to make himself a part of the NFL again, as well as the unbelievable hype that already follows this year's top picks, here is the NFL All-Bust Team. It may not include all of your favorites, but I am sure that this team would have trouble beating a good college team.

Fantasy Football GMs Rejoice! Brady Quinn Signs Contract

Tue, 07 Aug 2007 21:26:19 -0500

In a move that sent shockwaves across emails and around office water coolers everywhere, fantasy football addicts breathed a collective sigh of relief this morning as the second coming of Tim Couch himself, Mister Brady "but...but...I am worth top-ten money, waaaaaaaaaaaah!" Quinn grabbed his ankles and dreamed of England just long enough to sign a $20.2 million dollar contract.

Cade McNown Is Banned From The Playboy Mansion

Mon, 23 Jul 2007 22:37:55 -0500

With the news that Tim Couch will be attempting a comeback, it brought to mind a story of epic proportions. It combines two huge NFL busts, two Playmates of the Year and someone getting banned from the Playboy Mansion. Thats a triangle you'll probably never see again. A Los Angeles Times report says Cade was a frequent visitor to the Playboy Mansion, where he managed to do the ultimate by stealing Hugh Hefner's girlfriend, Brande Roderick, who was 1999's Miss April. Hef was so angry that he permanently banned McNown from the Mansion. That relationship didn't last long. Brande vacationed with McNown in Mexico, and now she's now doing "Baywatch" in Hawaii. Being banned from the Mansion wasn't enough to stop our celibate stud. Cleveland QB Tim Couch was dating Playmate of the Year Heather Kozar when he made a big mistake by introducing her to McNown. According to Sports Illustrated, McNown began the kind of all-out blitz he can't handle as a QB -- phoning constantly, sending lots of flowers, even sending his Porsche to her. It worked, as Kozar dumped Couch and moved to Chicago to live with McNown. Cade still claims to be a devout Christian who doesn't even read Playboy magazine. "I've never even seen her layout," he says. To top it all off, according to Couch's wikipedia, he wound getting back with Kozar and they ended up tying the knot in 2005 and had a kid six months later. Chris Simms -- Maried - Outsports Discussion Board Tim Couch To Give It another Try - WYMT Tim Couch - Wikipedia