http://www.yardbarker.com/content/player/2407 Recent articles about Tank Johnson en-us This is the day that Tony Romo realized that it was the beginning of the end. Happy Birthday Tony! Joe Simpson brought the clown. Seriously, would you look at everyone's faces. Tony. Is. Biting. His. Fingernails. Dude behind Jessica is texting Romo as the picture is snapped: "Mo, this was fun while it lasted. I'll go start the car, when you hear me honk twice, run!" Sure, Nick Lachey's left-overs expedited the process of getting dumped by gushing to US Weekly that Tony was her "future husband" (why do I get the impression this is the first time he heard about this) and that he reintroduced her to herself (sounds crazy). Anyway, I really hate writing about celebutards and whatnot, but I feel like she is almost forcing me to. Here's the thing, I believe in second chances, but I really hate infidelity, so my little ruggedly insides go all Singing in the Rain when Jessica Simpson's and Britney Spear's cheating asses fall on hard times. Having said that, I wish Jessica every luck in not falling as far as Britney did. And Let's be honest, we all fully expect to see Matt Leinart and Jessica Simpson hot tub pictures on theDirty.com within the next week or two. This does have sports world implications too: Believe it or not Cowboy fans, this was the worst thing that could have happened for you next season. You may not have liked Jessica coming to big D, but she at least gave Romo one woman go home to. Now that he's single and Pacman Jones is in town, there will be late nights. Just like with Tank Johnson supplying the arms, and Roy Williams rippin dudes' collars from behind, There Will be Blood. No worries, I heard Jerry is planning on signing Team Chemistry to a $30 Mil deal after July 1. Thu, 15 May 2008 15:25:08 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/267371 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/267371 Good read on the Bears draft and the stupidity of grading a class before any of the rooks hit the field. Wed, 30 Apr 2008 13:32:37 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/261782 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/261782 This video is of my new hero, i don't know his name or have never seen him before in my life, but he is my hero. He said the ABSOLUTE TRUTH and has torn apart jerry jones, the dallass cowboy organization, and their cockroach, arrogant, hypocritical fans. Watch and enjoy this video for yourself... and dallass fans, try your beast not to get 5th degree BURNED!!! Sat, 26 Apr 2008 10:15:15 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/259442 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/259442 Jerry Jones is doing everything he can to steer troubled players away from the Cincinnati Bengals. Forget about all of the arrests, suspensions, and attacked coaches, Jerry Jones wants to take back the crown. The White House is back in business with the news that the Cowboys have acquired Adam "Pac Man" Jones. Thu, 24 Apr 2008 08:47:50 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/256296 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/256296 The Dallas Cowboys are now taking the role of the mean machine from the longest yard. Vegas should take odds on what player kills a teammate first, pacman will kill a dallas cowboy cheerleader hoe, tank johnson will bring his entire NRA buddies and all of his illegal guns to fill his locker, t.o. will cry and kill someone so he can get the ball more because he is a bipolar freak. I also like Burt Reynolds alot better than Romosexual as well. Wed, 23 Apr 2008 21:10:17 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/255936 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/255936 Remember the Dynasty of Dallas one decade ago? Remember the troubled athletes who found success with a balls-to-the-wall coach? Well, those times are on the verge of returning. After acquiring a few troubled athletes over the past few years (TO and Tank Johnson), the Dallas Cowboys are one step closer to adding another name to their list of Pro Cons: Adam "Pacman" Jones. Yes, I am aware that this is the first time Pacman's name has come up in conversation since his short stint with TNA Wrestling, but Dallas hopes to turn Jones back into the man that was a dangerous defensive threat with the Titans a few years ago. Unfortunately, there are those who wish that he would just go away. Such as... www.rawsportsblog.com Sun, 13 Apr 2008 18:41:27 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/236451 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/236451 LEAVENWORTH, KS — Happy with the recent acquisition of Atlanta Falcons star Michael Vick, Harvey Hill, head coach of Vick's prison team the Leavenworth Stars, has expressed great optimism with the prospect of more NFL players joining the roster before the new season begins in September. "It'd be great to have a strong receiver or two for Vick to throw to," Hill told SSNN. "Chris Henry would be nice; I've got a feeling he'll be available soon." Alvin Thomason, the team's GM, says the prison system waiver wire has recently been more laden with NFL talent than ever before. "It used to be you had to wait years and cross you fingers that you could get a Michael Irvin or Lawrence Taylor – and sometimes your hopes would be dashed by their getting off with community service or very brief sentences," Thomason recalled. "But we hope that Vick represents a new trend: real felons with NFL talent who can make a long-term commitment to our squad." Thomason thinks that Vick's dedication to the Stars may encourage similar behavior from younger players in a similar mold. "We hear that there are some kids now who are considering coming out of college early and going straight to prison. That's encouraging." Of course, this new trend is not without its critics. Some insist that young players should be encouraged to finish their college years and get their degree before moving on to play for a prison, giving them something to fall back on in case their criminal careers don't pan out. Others have gone so far as to suggest putting a rule in place to ensure that student-athletes must obtain a degree before becoming eligible for prison football. Thomason's reply is that today's young athlete is mature enough to pursue a life of lawless behavior right out of high school. "These kids mature quickly," he told SSNN. "These are not your grandmother's convicts." For the time being, however, Vick's team must make do with what's available: convicted felons, mostly from walks of life other than the NFL. While Vick's coach would like to have a few offensive players to augment this year's team, he feels the main area of need is on defense. "It'd be great to have a Pacman Jones or Tank Johnson to round out the D," Coach Hill admitted. "But it may be weeks, maybe months before those guys are incarcerated." i know, but i'm sorry this is TO funny not to blog LOL!!!!!!!! Thu, 10 Apr 2008 10:50:51 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/234371 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/234371 All-Pro DeMarcus Ware talks about the upcoming season and his technique plus the defensive line as a whole. Now we just need a decent cornerback or safety. Thu, 20 Mar 2008 22:04:40 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/212942 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/212942 Good in depth look at what went wrong for the Cowboys yesterday. Looks at QB, Running backs, Linebackers, D-line, TE's, wR'S, special team and the like. "Not that I keep up with this type of stuff, but I'm pretty sure I could break a word count record on Uwe Blog today. The Dallas Cowboys lost 21-17 today against the New York Giants. There were so many fuck-ups and dumb moves and decisions to stun a mastadon." Mon, 14 Jan 2008 15:11:05 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/71879 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/71879 I would have to say that the best thing that happened in sports this year was Beyonce' on the cover of the sports illustrated swimsuit edition. This is just my totally biased opinion of course, but this year in the world of sports is full of shame, blame, and just plain lame. Never was there a year that I can remember (but I haven't been alive all that long either!) that the sports world was marked with a weekly scandal. I mean one or two, but I can't and won't count how many scandals and mishaps have occurred this year. I did some searching and found that USA Today agrees with me! Wow that's a shocker. Here are some of my favorite dumbass moves, and mistakes to ring in the New Year. I think # 1 has to be Tank Johnson- Although his legal troubles did not start in '07 they just continued on and on. Tank's famous love for weapons also seems to have a love for getting caught doing stupid things, proving to everyone once again that the man can NOT handle driving, owning weapons, or going to nightclubs. In '08 he should IMMEDIATELY stop doing all of the aforementioned activities. Maybe Tank, you should just get a driver, and open up your own nightclub inside of your house so once you are wasted you can just go to bed instead of driving anywhere. A really good suggestion would to also try not to buy any guns from Walmart, or any of your homies. Just stay away man. Stay AWAY. Pacman Jones – I wish I could have been a stripper that day in Vegas..what happens in Vegas stays there, except if you are showering strippers with $81,020. Low key is not the Pac's style; illegal stupid behavior is. Barry Bonds allegations, which led to the Mitchell report and is an ongoing battle into '08 as to who is a cheater and who isn't. Mark McGuire! No! At this point I am starting to wonder if all the guys in the MLB took steroids, and if so, who is REALLY cheating? Next was that college coach with the DUI (what was his name?) Not to mention hall of famer quarterback Warren Moon getting a DUI as well. Maybe I should just get a list going on all of the DUI's of famous athletes and coaches this year..Nahh…that list is WAY too long to mention. Maybe next blog if I am not too lazy. Mike Vick - Do I even need to mention it? Is there a positive side of Mike Vick's arrest? We all have our dog chew toys and bobble heads in his semblance that we can hold dearly to our chests for the rest of our days and remember what he once was. (Sigh) Marion Jones - using steroids..I don't know why the girl came clean now! (No pun intended) It makes no sense. She denied it for YEARS. How would the Olympic committee prove it anyways? I mean did they say..well Marion, you LOOKED more manly back then, just fess up. Don Imus, what an IDIOT. And then Don Imus, almost getting a job in radio part II? Crazy. Kobe Bryant - I don't really have much to say about this guy because I hate him, but maybe a side note for '08.-.Leave the Lakers so they can WIN another title. YOU RUINED the team. End note. Oj Simpson, the sequel. (need I say anything??) Isiah Thomas, the allegations, and his AWEFUL statements..Hey Isaiah..just shut up in '08..The Patriots and the spy gate things which I am not going to get into because it is the LAMEST scandal of 07. Props to Lance Briggs for smashing up his Lamborghini and then taking off in a panic. (Hilarious!) My biggest shocker of the year is that TO has not been the highlight of any kind of huge media attention at all!!! Happy New Year everybody. Can't wait for '08. Thu, 27 Dec 2007 22:04:26 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/54173 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/54173 A day after Michael Vick entered the Richmond courthouse looking like the Hamburgler's long-lost brother the question remains; was Vick's punishment suitable for the crime he committed? As horrendous and inhumane the murder of animals is, in the grand scheme of the penal system how harshly should people who indulge in these actions be dealt with? That question extends passed the moral realm and into the social realm. Vick's conviction brings up the disparity of punishments from crime to crime. Vick got 2 years for harming dogs. His operation didn't harm other people, nor did it involve trafficking drugs, weapons, or defrauding the government. Contrast Vick's crimes with those of Scooter Libby, the former assistant to the Vice President, who obstructed justice and compromised National Security. Vick 23 months and a few dead dogs. Libby, in turn got a commuted 30 month sentence and somehow garnered praise from the Cowboy...oops Commander in Chief. National Security seems to be a little less important than the lives of dogs. Without diving into a socio-economic-racial maelstrom, one can't help but notice that there seems to be a witchhunt for athletes. The government spent 4 years chasing Barry Bonds, and we're still a year away from a trial. A trial for what you ask? A trial for lying about taking some pills. In the grand scheme, big f**ing deal. How about going to war on false information and declaring war without Congressional approval? Oh, those things don't matter? Let's bust some uppity colored guys for some drugs and some dogs because they're the real threat to our National Security and the well-being of our children. Furthermore, a drunk Vice President shot a man in the face and attempted to cover it up. When is that trial? Oh...never. That makes sense. Instead, let's bust Tank Johnson for owning guns, not shooting anyone, but simply for owning guns. Feeling safer by the minute. We live in ridiculous times. This disparity in justice is disheartening and bodes poorly for our justice system. Mike Vick committed a crime and should pay for the crime, but when we have selective justice it's hard to believe in the system itself. This is the beginning of a bad spiral, and if I was Barry Bonds I'd be real weary as to how this system will treat me, especially when one realizes that Bonds assaulted the National Pastime. And we all know the National Pastime is more important than National Security. FlyMaster Signing Off...For Now! www.sportsfly.com Tue, 11 Dec 2007 16:37:26 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/42525 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/42525 If the early theory turns out to be right and Taylor was shot in a home invasion robbery, can we continue to blame athletes for carrying guns? Sean Taylor would be the third athlete THIS YEAR to be held at gunpoint in his own home. At some point you have to draw a line in the sand and decide to protect yourself, right? Mon, 26 Nov 2007 17:51:43 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/38732 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/38732 The Dallas Cowboys activated DT Tank Johnson tonight, as he is now completed his 8 game suspension that resulted from weapons charges. Tue, 06 Nov 2007 04:03:54 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/34684 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/34684 Guess who is back? Tank Johnson had is first workout with the Dallas Cowboys. Sat, 20 Oct 2007 00:23:57 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/32075 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/32075 DALLAS, TX — Even though Tank Johnson has not yet played a down with his new team, he is already clearly a part of the Dallas Cowboys organization. Team owner Jerry Jones announced today that Johnson will represent the Cowboys at the 115th annual North Texas Gun Show. (SATIRE) Fri, 19 Oct 2007 23:40:59 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/32064 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/32064