Yardbarker: Serena Williams

WTA Tour: Race for #1 is still on !??! (Plus: Williams double up @ Porsche Tennis Grand Prix)

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 17:34:24 -0500

By winning the China Open, Jelena Jankovic pulled within 21 points of world no. 1 Serena Williams. Wha...?!? I didn't realize the race for the No. 1 ranking on the WTA Tour was going to go down to the wire. Shouldn't be a surprise, then, that Serena and Jelena are both playing, along with Elena Dementieva, Svetlana Kuznetsova, Dinara Safina, and Venus Williams. I was even more surprised to see the Venus and Serena are playing doubles. Yeah, doubles, and it's not the Olympics and it's not a Slam event. Venus and Serena have already won their first round match, and Serena is looking more and more fit, too.

Video: Serena Williams Still Doing The Soulja Boy

Sat, 27 Sep 2008 03:24:43 -0500

I've had a thing for Serena Williams for a long time, so she could sneeze on camera and I would post it here at YBB. This video features one of my favorite combinations.. Serena Williams dancing in black stretch pants. This video is from Serena's visit to Nike's World Headquarters, and I'm glad to see the [...]

Video: Serena Williams Still Doing The Soulja Boy

Sat, 27 Sep 2008 03:24:43 -0500

Venus and Serena

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 13:13:30 -0500

The Williams sisters are certainly fashionistas. Here tennis stars Venus Williams and Serena Williams enjoy Fashion Week in New York City.

Venus and Serena

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 08:35:22 -0500

The Williams sisters are certainly fashionistas. Here tennis stars Venus Williams and Serena Williams enjoy Fashion Week in New York City.

Venus and Serena

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 11:42:36 -0500

The Williams sisters are certainly fashionistas. Here tennis stars Venus Williams and Serena Williams enjoy Fashion Week in New York City.

Kateryna Bondarenko

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 21:31:06 -0500

That's Kateryna Bondarenko on the left, with her sister - and doubles partner - Alona. Kateryna had the misfortune of drawing Serena Williams in Round 1 of the 2008 U.S. Open and, well, you know what happened.

Vera Zvonareva

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 21:31:06 -0500

Photo by Matthias Vriens/New York Times Magazine)

Russia's Vera Zvonareva was the bronze medal winner in Beijing, defeating China's Na Li, 6-0, 7-5. The 23-year-old has reached four WTA finals in 2008, winning the Prague Open in one of them. Unfortunately, in one she had to withdraw with an injury, and she ran up against Maria Sharapova and Serena Williams in the other two. But Zvonareva has moved up to 11th in the world rankings at the time of this writing.

Gold for Serena and Venus

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 21:31:06 -0500

The Williams sisters had a disappointing Olympics in singles, Serena and Venus each getting knocked out in the quarterfinals. But as a doubles team, they won gold in Beijing, just as they did eight years ago in Sydney. Serena and Venus dominated the Spanish duo of Anabel Medina and Virginia Ruano in the gold-medal match, 6-2, 6-0. Because the last photo of one of the Williams girls we ran was of Venus, we offer Serena Williams above for this post.

Gold for Serena and Venus

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 21:31:06 -0500

Serena Williams

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 21:31:05 -0500

Serena Williams defeated sister Venus in the 2008 U.S. Open quarterfinals, 7-6, 7-6. As the Williams girls pointed out several times themselves in the run-up, it's a shame this matchup had to happen in the quarters, rather than the semis or finals.

Serena Williams

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 21:31:05 -0500

Video: Serena Williams Still Doing The Soulja Boy

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 20:41:57 -0500

I’ve had a thing for Serena Williams for a long time, so she could sneeze on camera and I would post it here at YBB. This video features one of my favorite combinations.. Serena Williams dancing in black stretch pants. This video is from Serena’s visit to Nike’s World Headquarters, and I’m glad to see the [...]

Video: Serena Williams Still Doing The Soulja Boy

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 20:41:57 -0500

WNBA - Whatever it Takes to Keep People Watching

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 13:52:22 -0500

Looks like a lot has changed in the world of sports since I last blogged. WNBA making headlines? Hummina?

Ladies, I have to say that the Biotch is very proud of you. You're finally starting to realize what it will take to get sports fans to actually watch women's basketball...or at least get you almost FIVE minutes (!!!) of air time on SportsCenter. Yeehaw.

But don't let this be the end of it! We need to keep this momentum going in order to keep the public eye focused on women's basketball. My expert advice? Use the keys to success that the male athletes and ladies in other sports have been using for years to keep fans tuned in. A few ideas:

CELEBRITY RELATIONSHIPS

I'm thinking Diana Taurasi...Nick Lachey...in Cabo...right before playoffs (the WNBA has those, right?) Maybe a teammate crying about it during a press conference soon afterward.

We could even give them a cute celebrity couple nickname like Dianick. Or Nickana. They should probably get into the whole Scientology thing and adopt a few African kids, too. Extra points for shaving your head or going to rehab.

NOT-SO-SECRET CELEBRITY AFFAIRS

Two requirements: The celebrity should 1) be old enough to be your parent and 2) have jacked up teeth.

Hmm...maybe Candace Parker and Mike Tyson?

Bonus: He could teach her how to throw a decent right hook instead of just half-tackling and clawing at someone like...well, a girl.

GET NAKED

Was it the US women's soccer team's amazing World Cup victory that got America paying attention to the sport for a whole week or two? Eff no. It was this:

Take your jersey off after every 3-pointer, and I can guarantee you'll get a little extra time on the highlight reel.

GET REALLY NAKED

Showing some skin during the game will help, but this is the WNBA we're talking about. It's gonna take a lot more than a sports bra to really get some attention.

So I recommend Playboy. FHM. Maxim. Anyone that will let you get naked in front of a camera (unless it's R. Kelly.) This, however, should be limited to those who look more Amanda Beard...

than Serena Williams in their birthday suits.

GO TO VEGAS

Get drunk. Lose Money. Get beat up. Have a hooker orgy.

RETIRE AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE

No, wait. Scratch that. That requires having fans who would care in the first place.

....Stupid fans. With obnoxious accents. That wear cheese on their heads. Good lord, I really hate Wisconsin.

So to the ladies of the Shock and the Sparks - congratulations on taking the first steps toward sacrificing every ounce of your dignity to gain popularity in the sports world. We can now officially call you pro athletes, and the Sports Biotch salutes you.

(Except you, Lisa Leslie. I'm disappointed. Don't know you know that the only appropriate response to a man pushing you down on the ground is to break his jaw?)