Yardbarker: Jon Kitna

DETROIT LIONS 2008 Preview Report

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 08:51:57 -0500

This has to be the most in-depth article on the web. It covers Ktina to the kid carrying the water. A must read

Tournament Style Vote Off ( Day 4 ) -- NFL QB's -- Up now -- K. Warner vs. J. Kitna -- Pick the Winner

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 07:41:23 -0500

This is a simple tournament style vote off. What you do here is vote for the best QB of the pair that is up at that time. This is a tournament so vote for the top paring first the next match up will begin after 15 total votes, the first to 8 votes, or the leader at the 24th hour, whichever comes first. Then move to the next pairing on the list and so on till the list is complete and then we start round two which I will post with the new match ups. I will Post the new match ups every day till we crown the CHAMPION. Lets be friendly and honest here is the match up. The NAMES in CAPS are the winners of that match up move on to the next round. When you see a pairing with a CAPS winner move down to where there are two QB's in lower case letters and that is the one we will be voting on at that time. When the next round comes out it will be posted the same as this one but with round 2, then 3, then 4 and so on till we have our two SUPER BOWL QB's. Only vote for the one in session. Let's keep it friendly, and tell your friends we are here and lets make this fun for everyone. Now in session is: K. Warner vs. J. Kitna --- J.CAMPBELL defeats T.Jackson --- (11-2) --- J. CAMPBELL WINS T.ROMO defeats M.Hasselback --- (8 - 6) --- T. ROMO WINS P.MANNING defeats T.Brady --- (9 - 7) --- P. MANNING WINS B. FARVE defeats A. Rodgers --- (7 - 6) --- B. FARVE WINS E.MANNING defeats P.Rivers --- (9 - 7) --- E.MANNING WINS D.MCNABB defeats C.Palmer --- (8 - 2) --- D. MCNABB WINS D. ANDERSON defeats V.Young ---(12 - 4)---D. ANDERSON WINS B.ROTHLESBUGER defeats T.Edwards --- (8 - 0) --- B. ROTHLESBUGER WINS J. GARCIA defeats A.Rodgers --- (8 - 7) --- J. GARCIA WINS K. Warner vs. J. Kitna --- IS NOW IN SESSION R. Grossman vs. D. Garrard J. Cutler vs. J. Delhomme D. Brees vs. M. Bulger J. Russell vs. M. Schuab A. Smith vs B. Cryole

Lions tales: 10 plays, Smith talks playoffs, Orlovsky is “the man”

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 19:32:25 -0500

Starters to go approximately 10 plays in the exhibition opener: I'm getting the joke out of the way… 10 plays? That's 3 consecutive 3 and outs on offense. Defensively, that's 2/3 of the Giants' opening drive… With that taken care of, Rod Marinelli did say once Jon Kitna gets his 10 or so snaps under center, playing time will be evenly split between Dan Orlovsky and Drew Stanton. The battle to backup Kitna begins in earnest. Also, as expected, the rookies will get a considerable amount of playing time. So the game will quickly dissolve into the Lions 3rd stringers vs. the Giants 3rd stringers. Still, along with the soon to be waived, we finally get to see players like Gosder Cherilus, Jordan Dizon, Kevin Smith, Andre Fluellen and Cliff Averil. I'll be taking bets, asking who will be the biggest bust! I honestly hope every single rookie plays well and become long-time Lions, but Millen's track record always has me believing the worst will happen….No one pans out. Kevin Smith has yet to learn the Lions and the playoffs don't mix: When told of the Lions' 1 playoff victory in 50 years Smith couldn't hold back… "One playoff win in 50 years?" he asked. "Wow. We will get to the playoffs this year. We will win a playoff game this year." The rookie running back's enthusiasm is so cute! Ah, youth. It's soooo wasted on the young. Then again, if Smith didn't feel any other way, would you want him as your running back? Exactly. Nothing wrong with the kid saying what he thinks. Let's just hope he can back up that talk before the Lions make him jaded and bitter. I do have to admit, Smith is one of the players I play on watching closely Thursday night. When the defacto starter is Tatum Bell, Smith has a huge opportunity to get major playing time almost immediately. Dan Orlovsky wants to be "the guy": It turns out the long-time clipboard holder wasn't talking about backing up Kitna, which is almost a sure thing considering the competition, but being the starter. "The guy," Orlovsky said. "The guy who this organization looks to and says, 'That's our starting quarterback.' That's what I want to be. That's my goal. This is a make or break season for Orlovsky. He's been in Detroit seemingly forever (He's going into his 4th season), but has yet to get any kind of opportunity, save for all of 17 regular season passes in his '05 rookie season. Orlovsky has been buried on the depth chart ever sense, never to see the field in the regular season. That's going to change this year. I don't think anyone believes Kitna can pull off another 2006, and take every snap. Let's hope Orlovsky is up to the challenge. Pooch kicks: Hugging Harold Reynolds has their NFC North training camp postcards up. Detroit's has been sent by Jon (3:16) Kitna, something about Millen and plagues. Good stuff! Sports Illustrated's Adam Duerson visits Lions camp. He's most impressed by Roy Williams, Kevin Smith, the newly revamped defensive backfield and the amount of American iron in the parking lot. Duerson's not impressed with the backup QB situation, Chuck Darby as Big Baby's replacement and the Lions chances of making the playoffs because of their tough second half schedule.

2008 Fantasy Football Rankings: Quarterbacks

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 11:17:23 -0500

Tiered quarterback rankings for the 2008 fantasy football season.

Training Camp Postcards, Part 3 of 8: NFC North

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 09:58:35 -0500

As you may or may not follow, SI.com has dispatched "10 writers to report on the 32 NFL training camps across the country" and is featuring their reports throughout August in their Training Camp Postcard segment. Here at HHR, we prefer to look at actual postcards sent by players to their loved ones, as opposed to Peter King drivel. Today, we take a look at what's going on in , WI (Packers), Mankato, MN (Vikings), Bourbonnais, IL (Bears) and Allen Park, MI (Lions) from a player's perspective.

Rookie RB Smith Says Lions Will Win a Playoff Game

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 08:58:43 -0500

Despite not playing a down yet in the NFL, rookie RB Kevin Smith is not being shy about making predictions. The Lions back said on Tuesday that the team is going to win a playoff game this season. "We will get to the playoffs this year, we will win a playoff game this year." Smith [...]

Tournament Style Vote Off ( Day 3 ) -- NFL QB's -- Up now -- V.Young vs. D. Anderson -- Pick the Winner

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 08:34:24 -0500

This is a simple tournament style vote off. What you do here is vote for the best QB of the pair that is up at that time. This is a tournament so vote for the top paring first the next match up will begin after 15 total votes, the first to 8 votes, or the leader at the 24th hour, whichever comes first. Then move to the next pairing on the list and so on till the list is complete and then we start round two which I will post with the new match ups. I will Post the new match ups every day till we crown the CHAMPION. Lets be friendly and honest here is the match up. The NAMES in CAPS are the winners of that match up move on to the next round. When you see a pairing with a CAPS winner move down to where there are two QB's in lower case letters and that is the one we will be voting on at that time. When the next round comes out it will be posted the same as this one but with round 2, then 3, then 4 and so on till we have our two SUPER BOWL QB's. Only vote for the one in session. Let's keep it friendly, and tell your friends we are here and lets make this fun for everyone. Now in session is: D.McNabb vs. C.Palmer --- J.CAMPBELL defeats T.Jackson --- (11-2) --- J. CAMPBELL WINS T.ROMO defeats M.Hasselback --- (8 - 6) --- T. ROMO WINS P.MANNING defeats T.Brady --- (9 - 7) --- P. MANNING WINS B. FARVE defeats A. Rodgers --- (7 - 6) --- B. FARVE WINS E.MANNING defeats P.Rivers --- (9 - 7) --- E.MANNING WINS D.MCNABB defeats C.Palmer --- (8 - 2) --- D. MCNABB WINS V.Young vs. D. Anderson --- NOW IN SESSION B.Rothlesburger vs. Trent Edwards J.Garcia vs. A.Rodgers K. Warner vs. J. Kitna R. Grossman vs. D. Garrard J. Cutler vs. J. Delhomme D. Brees vs. M. Bulger J. Russell vs. M. Schuab

2008-2009 NFC Playoff Teams

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 20:47:48 -0500

The NFC East sends 3 teams again. The NFC is always a toss up but these are the teams I believe come out on top. Just missed the cut: Minnesota Vikings (8-8): An improving team but still no consistent QB play. Unless they get Brett Favre, teams want to challenge Jackson to beat them. Arizona Cardinals (8-8): Another young team on the rise. Experience will take it's toll late in the season. Watch out for AZ in the future. Washington Redskins (7-9): A streaky season for a streaky offense will prove that consistency is the key to a successful season. Plus the fact that the NFC East is too good.

Tournament Style Vote Off --- NFL Quarterbacks --- Pick the winner

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 07:36:14 -0500

This is a simple tournament style vote off. What you do here is vote for the best QB of the pair that is up at that time. This is a tournament so vote for the top paring first the next match up will begin after 15 total votes, then move to the next pairing and so on till the list is complete and then we start round two which I will post with the new match ups. Lets be friendly and honest here is the match up. The ones in CAPS are the winners of that match up and round. When you see a pairing with a CAPS winner move down to where there are two QB's in lower case letters and that is the one we will be voting on at that time. When the next round comes out it will be posted the same as this one but with round 2, then 3, then 4 and so on till we have our two SUPER BOWL QB's. Only vote for the one in session. Let's keep it friendly, anyone who votes I will add hopefully you will follow the pattern. and tell your friends we are here and lets make this fun for everyone. So tell a friend or favorite. Now in session is: Jason Campbell vs. T.Jackson. J.Campbell vs. T.Jackson --- J. CAMPBELL advances T.Romo vs. M.Hasselback --- T.Brady vs. P.Manning E.Manning vs. P.Rivers D.McNabb vs. C.Palmer V.Young vs. D. Anderson B.Rothlesburger vs. Trent Edwards J.Garcia vs. A.Rodgers K. Warner vs. J. Kitna R. Grossman vs. D. Garrard J. Cutler vs. J. Delhomme D. Brees vs. M. Bulger J. Russell vs. M. Schuab

8 Untested Backup QB's

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 06:36:40 -0500

8.Cleveland: Starter Derek Anderson. Backup Brady Quinn: At this time last year, nobody could have predicted Anderson would emerge from obscurity to keep the highly-touted Quinn on the bench. Quinn threw only eight passes as a rookie but should make big strides this preseason after missing much of his rookie training camp in a contract holdout. If Quinn isn't ready, the Browns have six-year veteran Ken Dorsey in reserve. 7.Seattle Seahawks Starter Matt Hasselbeck. Backup Seneca Wallace: All of Wallace's career NFL starts came during a shaky four-game stretch in 2006 (the Seahawks went 2-2). But Wallace showed marked improvement when completing 17 of 22 passes in last year's finale against Atlanta. Now in his sixth season with the Seahawks, Wallace is a rushing threat under center and has extra roster value because he can play wide receiver and return punts/kicks in a pinch. Charlie Frye, who started 19 games with Cleveland between 2005 and 2007, is also on the roster 6.Indianapolis Colts Starter Peyton Manning. Backup Jim Sorgi: Playing behind an ironman like Manning, Sorgi's only game opportunities the past four years have come in blowouts or meaningless late-season contests. The Colts, though, have confidence in Sorgi and proved it last October by signing him to a three-year contract extension. 5.Carolina Panthers Starter Jake Delhomme. Backup Matt Moore: Moore was one of the few beneficiaries of Carolina's revolving door at quarterback in 2007, getting three starts and extensive playing time as an undrafted rookie. Moore showed enough promise that the Panthers released David Carr in the offseason and didn't sign a veteran replacement. 4.Detroit Lions Starter Jon Kitna. Backup Dan Orlovsky: Kitna is the ultimate crash-test dummy, not missing a start the past two seasons despite being sacked a staggering 114 times. Orlovsky needs to play well in the preseason or he could soon be ceding his backup spot to 2007 second-round pick Drew Stanton. Orlovsky hasn't played since performing mop-up duty in November 2005 and was beaten out for a second-string spot last year by journeyman J.T. O'Sullivan. 3.Cincinnati Bengals Starter Carson Palmer. Backup Ryan Fitzpatrick: Not only has he started 48 consecutive games, Palmer was the NFL's only quarterback last season to take 100 percent of his team's snaps last season. Fitzpatrick became the fifth player in league history to throw for 300-plus yards in his 2005 debut while with St. Louis. But it has been all downhill from there, as he lost three consecutive starts and hasn't attempted a pass since. Fitzpatrick is from Harvard, so we know he's smart. We just don't know if he'll be any good if called upon. 2.Green Bay Packers Starter Aaron Rodgers. Backup Brian Brohm: No member of Green Bay's current quarterback crop has ever started a regular-season game. After Daunte Culpepper inexplicably declined a pre-draft contract offer to serve as Rodgers' backup, the Packers addressed the position by picking Brohm (second round) and Matt Flynn (seventh). In mid-June, Brohm drew praise from Packers coach Mike McCarthy for picking up his offense "faster at this point than any rookie I've been around." While the Packers will be a stronger team if Brett Favre ultimately returns from retirement, Brohm's development will be slowed if dropped to a third-string role. 1.New England Patriots Starter Tom Brady. Backup Matt Cassel: Brady hasn't missed a start since replacing an injured Drew Bledsoe early in the 2001 season. That has given Cassel scant opportunity to play. In fact, Cassel's passing attempts have dropped each season since being a 2005 seventh-round draft pick. Cassel also had a disastrous fourth-quarter outing last October at Miami, forcing an irate Bill Belichick to insert Brady back into a game the Patriots were winning handily. Cassel's long-term future with the Patriots is in question after San Diego State's Kevin O'Connell was selected in the third round of this year's draft.

Lions tales: Orlovsky is outplaying Stanton

Wed, 30 Jul 2008 15:51:12 -0500

Killer Kowalski's latest WDFN interview is up at Mlive. Cliff notes version, Calvin Johnson is impressing the Hell out of him and Dan Orlovsky is clearly outplaying Drew Stanton in the competition to backup Jon Kitna: I'm not sure if I should be happy Orlovsky is finally stepping up, or be bitterly disappointed in Stanton, as I expect a player taken high in the 2nd round to be pushing for playing time. I still believe placing Stanton on the IR last August was a moronic decision that would set back Stanton's progress immeasurably. Their indefensible decision to sit Stanton has come back to bite the Lions on the ass this season. Let's hope Orlovsky has figured things out, as it looks like Stanton is going to be too busy getting his NFL sea legs to be anything more than a clipboard holder in 2008. In Killer's words, "He's (Stanton) too far behind." "Too far behind?" Didn't see that coming, huh? When you see defenders the Lions passed over in the '07 draft like David Harris and Lamar Woodly quickly becoming productive linebackers (still a Lion position of need), and then hear the reports of Stanton struggling…No, I'm not going there. It's too depressing. Speaking of 2nd round picks, Killer mentions DE Ikaika Alama-Francis during the interview, and says at this point of his career, he's comparable to…Kalimba Edwards. Shit. As for Calvin Johnson? I have one piece of advice for the Lions. I don't care how you do it, just get CJ the damn ball! Enough of using him, and Roy Williams for that matter, as decoys. No way in Hell should Shawn McDonald or Mike Furrey be your leading receivers. Soild ballplayers they may be, they're the mumber 3 and 4 wides for a reason. Pooch kicks: A placekicker, Eddie Johnson (No, I haven't heard of this guy either) has been signed in order to keep the Lions' long time offensive MVP, Jason Hanson, fresh for the regular season. No word as to who will be cut to make room. The Lions have announced they have cleared more practice dates where the the unwashed masses will be allowed to attend. Add Thursday, July 31, Monday, August 11 and Tuesday, August 12 to your calenders. Glad to see the Lions throwing their long suffering fans a practice bone. Fire Millen has posted their take on Billy Junior meeting the press. They remain as cynical as yours truly. It's just talk till we see improvement on the field. Their first suggestion for Billy? You guessed it - "Fire Millen!"

Lions tales: Another ex-Buc joins the team and D-line is the topic of the day

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 19:30:56 -0500

The Lions sign ANOTHER ex-Bucco: Taye Biddle, a wide receiver recently waived by Tampa, was signed by the Lions today. Biddle is right in the Lions' wheelhouse, being both a wide out and a former Buccaneer. How could the Lions NOT sign him? The only reason this is being mentioned is the Tampa-Detroit connection, as Biddle is not expected to make Detroit's opening day roster (If he does, the Lions are already in deep, deep trouble). Biddle joining the team does beg the question. Do the Lions ever check the waiver wire for the rejects from any other team? It's almost as bad as the Randy Smith era with the Tigers, when it seemed every transaction was with with either the Astros or Padres, to the exclusion of the rest of baseball. Well, almost as bad, as some of the Bucs can still play…I hope. Today's topic du jour for the beat writers? (or should I call them "Deep Diggers," as my friend Bill at A2Y snidely refers to the Red Wings writers) The defensive line: The Killer looks at a player whom the Lions are expecting to step up big time, but has been a bust up to this point of his career, Shaun Cody. Cotsonika talks to former Buc and current Marinelli apostle, Chuck Darby. The (soon to be gone fishing) O'Hara contribution is about 3rd round pick, defensive end Cliff Avril. For the Lions to contend, they will likely need quality contributions from all 3 players. I believe Darby will be fine, as long as the Lions don't over use the 33 year old tackle. Which is why players like Darby and Cody (especially Cody) need to step up their game. As Cody is in the walk year of his contract, it wouldn't surprise me if he has a good season. It also wouldn't surprise me if the Lions ultimately overpay to keep Cody, much as they did with the very disappointing Cory Redding and the finally waived (a couple years too late) Kalimba Edwards. Pooch kicks: My compadres in appreciating all things Wayne Fontes, The Ghosts of Wayne Fontes, have their Detroit Lions season preview up surprisingly early. To be honest, it's probably because they aren't expecting much. Despite their prediction of doom and gloom, I'm glad to see the Stan and Rupert are back from their summer hiatus. Killer does a Lions Q&A with his loopy Mlive acolytes. Hilarity ensues. The Freep and News both write glowing pieces about Lions fans attending practice. I did have to chuckle when the Freep quotes a fan as saying after a Jon Kitna pick, "Typical Kitna, huh?" Indeed. Ernie Sims is officially out for 2-10 days, and almost assuredly the first preseason exhibition game.

2008 Detroit Lions Preview: Can Anybody Find Me...Somebody to Love?

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 13:24:28 -0500

It's time for the GoWF annual rite of passage that is the Detroit Lions season preview... set to lyrics. Last year, we got all hot and bothered, because we waited until the Silver and Blue got off to a doppelganger 2-0 start, thus prompting some bonerific Prince lyrics. This year, we wanted to go with a mustachio theme in honor of the immovable pile of steamy crap that is Matt Millen. While Frank Zappa tempted us, in the interests of well, everybody else, we settled on Queen. Much to our merriment, Queen proves a fantastic choice. I swear these things write themselves sometimes.

"I've paid my dues. Time after time, I've done my sentence. But committed no crime. And bad mistakes, I've made a few. I've had my share of sand kicked in my face. But I've come through." (The Proud Tradition)

Yeah, we understand how you feel Barry. We would have bolted too if we were in your shoes. The invite is always open though, you know?

"I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now." (Last Season)

Last year the Kool-Aid tasted so good. Martz, Kitna, Johnson, Williams, Furrey, McDonald, Jones, Bell, Duckett. Ok, so maybe the Kool-Aid had a little too much Beefeater's Gin mixed with it, because what seemed like the second coming of the greatest show on turf was a hit or miss train wreck. We wanted it all and we weren't willing to wait. However, 6-2 out of the gates got our appetites wet and expectations soaring. And who could possibly forget one of the most memorable moments in Lions football since Barry Sanders left? Remember Shaun "Big Baby" Rodgers plowing into the end zone after a fumble recovery and scamper to the house?

Of course, much like "Big Baby" gasping for air…soon the Lions would also be gasping for air. They collapsed; almost on cue down the stretch of the season going 2-6 the rest of the way. What seemed so perfect and so real, was just a cruel taste of the high life. We wanted it all, but we wanted it too soon and got little in return. It's like we went house hunting and thought we could afford a little more than our budget and ended up upside down with a mortgage we couldn't pay after the housing crash. Um, yup that was the Lions in 2007…we'd suppose.

"Buddy, you're a boy makin' big noise playing on the street; gonna be a big man some day. You got mud on your face. Big Disgrace. Kickin' your can all over the place." (The Offense)

Again, bless Jon Kitna's heart, but he's been masquerading as a starting QB for a wee bit too long now. The problem is...the Lions have no real threat waiting in the wings, as Drew Stanton remains an enigma. Perhaps, another 5-11 or 6-10 season will allow us to get a glimpse into the future of Stanton. However, the crystal ball will most likely reveal another damn back-up QB. Oh well.

Once again the offensive line is made of patchwork and recycled goods. No, that's not referring to a hippie's closet, rather an NFL team's offensive line. The Lions have gone ahead and attempted to implement a generic version of the Bronco's zone blocking system. Apparently, they hope this will mask the fact that they are rolling out Tatum Bell as a featured RB along with an "unknown" rookie. Gee, we hear Mike Bell and Reuben Droughns might be available to help apply some Neosporin to this pathetic RB stable.

And for the WR's...well they may or may not be the lone bright spot for this offense. Although, let's leave a TBD tag on this group for now. However, please let us keep our dream alive that Calvin Johnson will be the STUD everyone predicted he'd be.

"Fat Bottom girls you make the rocking world go round." (The Defense)

You have to hand it to Rod Marinelli. While a lot of folks out there deride him for basically bringing in every single available defensive player from Tampa Bay; it makes sense. If you are implementing a new system based on a similar system, why not bring in guys who know "said" system? It's a logical move and it is comforting that he considers a lot of these guys - particularly in a secondary that's often reminiscent of flies stuck on fly paper - system guys. The secondary is improved.

The problem with this throwback to the Tampa Cover 2 - and we're not the first to address this - is that Tampa had Simeon Rice and Warren Sapp providing a furious pass rush. The Lions have Chuck Darby, Cory Redding, Jared Devries, and Dewayne White. Marinelli calls them veterans; most would call them "blue light specials." The Cover 2 defense is useless without lightning fast defensive ends and good pressure in the middle. This is a huge question mark. The other laughable element here is Lovie Smith coached the linebackers in Tampa and installed it in Chicago. Minnesota implemented it last season. And they both have FAR better players than the Lions. Who you planning to fool here guys?

"Oooh you make me live. Whenever this world is cruel to me, I got you to help me forgive. Oooh you make me live now honey, Oooh you make me live…You're my best friend." (Coaching Staff)

Ah yes, the lightning Rod still carries the mantle of this team, but for how much longer? Well, it seems that he and Millen have formed an inseparable bond of sorts and can be seen carrying each other hand in hand in this debacle we know as the Lions. One would always have to consider Marinelli being on a short leash; after all Millen did fire a lifelong buddy in Steve Mariucci just a few short years ago.

That said; the remainder of Marinelli's staff is a collection of unrecognizable names and/or nice guys. I guess the saying holds par that nice guys finish last. Put in simpler terms, unless some facet of this team (the special teams, defense or offense) makes a huge leap this year…we won't have to worry about teams in need of head coaches raiding our cupboards. It should come as no surprise that our defense is led by Joe Barry, a Buccaneers import. Jim Colletto gets the distinguished honor of following the huge footprints that Mike Martz left behind (that's sarcasm). Of course, his track record consists of the Ravens and Raiders offenses in the past 7 or 8 years…not good.

The feel good story of the Lions coaching staff has to be Joe Cullen who somehow managed to battle his booze demons and retain his job even after driving through a Wendy's butt naked and drunk a few years back. Give that man a hug.

"Bismillah! We will not let you go, let me go. Will not let you go, let me go. Will not let you go let me go. No, no, no, no, no, no, no."

…or…

"Pressure. Pushing down on me, pressing down on you. No man ask for...Under Pressure." (Management)

At this point this has become another Detroit tale of Rasputin. The only way we're getting rid of the "unsinkable" Matt Millen is if Ford Motor files for bankruptcy, sells off either some assets, or pawns the whole shebang. Ever seen "Gung Ho?" The Japanese would turn the Lions around in no time. They are really great at calisthenics.

Honestly, the seat can't possibly be any warmer under Matt Millen's ass. Ford Jr. has voiced displeasure, but as mentioned above...we've been down this road before and nobody is convinced the end is really near should the Millen/Marinelli brain trust fail once again. Yet, we'll be sure to listen to Drew Sharp and Mitch Albom proclaim the end of the Millen era...starting around Week #1.

"Is this the real life, is this just fantasy?" (Fantasy Impact)

The gut reaction says "Don't touch these guys even if you're wearing lubed up rubber gloves, "but there are a couple scenarios where you might pull the trigger. A late round Tatum Bell pickup is a calculated gamble (ADP 125ish). Kevin Smith very well might be the guy, but taking him for your #3 RB - or larger leagues you're #2 RB - is very risky. The guy may never even play. Pay close attention to the Lion's camp if you really insist on going this route. With an ADP around 70, there's a lot to give (i.e., Fred Taylor, Donovan McNabb, Donald Driver) in order to get Smith. In the meantime, nobody is putting much stock in Taco Bell, so he's available for peanuts and he should get a share of carries - at least for a while.

Kitna is a good late round backup with TUP. He should easily fall into the double digit rounds, so at this point your biggest competition for Kitna is likely that pesky auto draft. As for Calvin Johnson and Roy Williams, as much as we all like them in reality, they reek of streaky big games and busts. Kitna looks to spend a lot of time on his back yet again, so expect a handful of turds from both of these guys. These guys have Lee Evans Syndrome written all over them.

"She's a killer queen; gunpowder gelatine. Dynamite with a lazer beam, guaranteed to blow your mind…(anytime)." (Gambling)

There's a golden rule of thumb when it comes to wagering on the Lions. "You NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER…bet for or against the Detroit Lions." That's right; they will blow your mind and slash your heart with a Lazer beam…anytime. You don't believe us? Go ahead; seal your own fate at your own risk. You've been warned to give this team a wide birth.

"It's the terror of knowing what this world is about. Watching some good friends, screaming...let me out." (Intangibles…The Fans)

Honestly, a fan revolt doesn't appear that far from the realm of reality. Wait, we've tried that one before. In the end "WE" the fans remain the victims. Try walking a week in the shoes of a Lions fan. OK, so maybe it's not all that painful, but it's quite brutal. Just imagine knowing your fate before it even happens? At least most tortured franchises have "hope" each year. As goes with Lions fans, we've become numb to hope. It's really, really...sad. And it could turn ugly really fast at Ford Field if the team starts sputtering. How fun is it gonna be to play a football game on Thanksgiving when you are getting booed by a hostile and heavily intoxicated audience?

"And another one gone, and another one gone, another one bites the dust." (Overall 2008 Prediction)

It's quite sobering to realize that it takes nearly 2000 words of rhetoric and pessimism to capture the splendor that is the Detroit Lions. Yes, we love the Lions…please make no mistakes in that regard. However, when you've had your share of sand kicked in your face…sometimes you just know you're going to lose. It's another season and another season of unfilled promises. There's really no point in getting our hopes up again, just to have them crushed. For we know if the Lions ever right the ship, it'll be like playing with house money. Oh how we long for that day, but it seems so, so far away. Bold Prediction: (6-10…Marinelli and Millen are shown the door).

THE AFTER PARTY

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 16:18:29 -0500

Jon Kitna will banish your unbelieving demons!
NFL Preseason Haikus: NFC
Mr. Favre and his end-of-life issues
Brett Favre exposes many secrets in his reinstatement letter
The Gravitational Pull of Football Strengthens with Age
Brady's Gotta Brand New Bag

When Ken Dorsey Drinks...Ken Dorsey Talks
Step Brothers With An NFL Twist
Ranking the SEC QBs
A brawl? At a wrestler's home? What?
New Zealand soccer gone wild!
Rudy Giuliani's son kicked off Duke's golf team

More Allison Stokke
Report from the Cape Cod All-Star game
The lawsuit to bring tennis down
Manny Ramirez Coming Back to Cleveland?
Tony Stewart = Douchebag
NASCAR's Jeff Burton, vaporizing birds

Lions tales: Sims’ knee, a WR is IR, and FISTICUFFS!

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 15:53:49 -0500

Ernie Sims injures his right knee: As if Lions fans don't have enough to worry about, the big news out of camp today is Ernie Sims' right knee. After tweaking the knee Sunday morning, the Lions only playmaking linebacker has been held out of practice since, and is scheduled to get an MRI today. The Lions are calling Sims' MRI "precautionary," and don't believe it's serious. Let's hope so, as a long-term injury to Sims would be catastrophic for the Lions' defense. In a move involving training camp tackling dummies, Reggie Ball placed on IR, Eric Fowler signed in his place: WR Reggie Ball, a member of the practice squad for a few games in '07, injured his knee on Friday. It was serious enough to finish him for the season. Signed to replace him on the roster was the best WR out of Grand Valley State not named David Kircus, Eric Fowler. The likelihood of either player making the regular season roster is/was slim, but at least Ball can say he was the first Lion to be placed on IR in 2008. A noteworthy accomplishment, indeed. A tiff between Jeff Backus and Dewayne White makes headlines: You can tell there isn't much real news coming out of camp when the beat writers play up practice fisticuffs. Not that I blame the players, as two-a-days would make me want to punch out my sisters, let alone someone going against me. Rather than writing it off as boys will be boys rough housing, Rod Marinelli does not approve of such silliness, because players are penalized for the same actions in games. As he said, "It's a lack of self-control." Makes sense to me… The Lions, long lacking on public relations side of things, finally realize fans really want to see workouts, and open them to the unwashed masses: Starting tomorrow, 7/29 (also on 8/1, 8/4 and 8/5), the Lions will open both daily practices (8:35 AM and 4:30 PM) to the public, along . Only the first 700 fams will be admitted. In other words, get there early, as it's first come, first served. If you do decide to attend, Rod Marinelli asks that you MAKE SOME NOISE! Pooch kicks: The worst columnist in America states the obvious, the Lions' shouldn't ignore Calvin Johnson. Parker never ceases to amaze me with his wading pool deep analysis. Jon Kitna's banged up, though he's not hurt enough to miss any practice time. It must be a MIRACLE! Killer Kowalski and Nick Cotsonika were both impressed enough with rookie DE Cliff Averil to write respective articles. Let's hope they compared notes. Where is Mike O'Hara's take? He's slacking! Speaking of which, O'Hara has accepted a buyout from the Detroit News, and will be retiring. Any man who could put up with the Lions' antics for 31 years deserves kudos! Here's a SLR tip o' the cap, as O'Hara will be missed. (Yes, I just praised someone in the MSM. Hard to believe, I know…)