Yardbarker: Jared Lorenzen

Exclusive Sage Rosenfels Interview

Thu, 05 Mar 2009 19:54:29 -0500

The third installment of our ongoing interview series is a truly groundbreaking interview. I was contacted by someone that aspires to greatness in girth. Although his current dimensions aren't record breaking, his superior skeletal structure shows potential for expansion. Without further delay, ...

Jared Lorenzen Is Your New Hefty Arena Football Starnf

Tue, 17 Feb 2009 18:42:52 -0500

Jared Lorenzen just got himself a big time football contract. He's headed back to the Blue Grass state to light up Rupp Arena with the Lexington Horseman of the Arena Football League 2. It's about time someone decided to sign up Jared Lorenzen to a football contract, donuts and beer do not pay for themselves.

Poor Ole Lorenzen has been without a job thanks to the Indianapolis Colts cutting him in camp after the Giants decided they'd rather have David Carr in the offseason. Since then the Lefty has been working out vigorously to gain return to the NFL, he even applied for the Biggest Loser but didn't make it. All the hard work paid off into a lucrative Arena Deal, well the hard work and the fact that the Horseman are desperate to get a former UK player to try to scrounge some ticket sales out of the area.

The Horseman did not comment on whether he'll automatically garner the starting defensive tackle position or if he will have to compete with smaller men for the role.

Drew Brees wears XXXXXL jersey in odd tribute to Jared Lorenzen

Wed, 04 Feb 2009 18:21:46 -0500

OVERLOOKED QUANTITIES IN COLLEGE ATHLETES IN THE DRAFT: SLOWS

Fri, 23 Jan 2009 18:06:57 -0500

Slows: they?re truly rare. Some players may flirt with slows, and others may have sluggish periods in their history, but the prejudice towards ?speed? and ?agility? has unfairly pushed the rich and luxurious pleasure of slowness to the The luxurious running of the great Jared Lorenzen: ...

Ok ESPN, If You’re Not Going To Use Your 24 Hours Of Programming To Do Something Constructive, We’ll Find A Station That Will

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 22:02:12 -0500

Being a breast man myself, I would have went with Jared Lorenzen, but hey, to each his own. God damn does ESPN want to be a shitty, three week old blog sooooooooo bad. Up next, Jay Crawford and Wendi Nix discuss which National League outfielders are most like M.U.S.C.L.E. toys! Via HHR.

Jared Lorenzen Has Nothing On This Kid

Sat, 08 Nov 2008 19:32:07 -0500

Today when Ellenville High School (NY) squares off against Sullivan West High in the Section 9 Class B championship they will led for the second straight game by 305lb senior QB Anthony Casamento. Isn't it every offensive lineman's dream to play QB? Sure probably not under these circumstances, with the starter being hurt and all, but we think it still has to be a thrill for the senior to get a chance to play QB in his team's championship game. Check out these highlight videos below that briefly show Anthony under center for the Ellenville squad. In the first video he appears about 3:15 in and in the second at the 7:00 mark.

305-pound QB leads upstate N.Y. school into title game (USA Today)

Colts Activate Manning

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 18:08:11 -0500

More than a month has passed by and everyone and their brother were speculating as to Peyton Manning's whereabouts and whether his knee was worse than originally expected.

NFL Player Nicknames

Sun, 10 Aug 2008 20:33:05 -0500

I was trying to find a comprehensive list of NFL nicknames for active players. I couldn't find one, so I decided to start one myself. It's still a work in progress, so please comment. To my knowledge, this is the only one on the Internet. Here are a few of my favorites: Adam Jones - Pacman Chad Johnson - Ocho Cinco Devin Hester - The Windy City Flyer Jevon Kearse - The Freak For the rest (there's about 100 so far), visit the article URL.

Sorgi Has Competition

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 12:51:38 -0500

According to?the biggest idiot on the?blogosphere, Mike Florio of Pro Football Talk, Jared Lorenzen and Quinn Gray have signed with the Colts.? Rotoworld, a more competent site has confirmed this, so we can welcome Gray and The Hefty Lefty as official members of the Colts. Florio said that this means the Colts don't think Manning might be ready in time for the start of the preseason.? The 4 to 6 weeks time period still hasn't registered in Florio's mind.? But I'm sure he'l...

TOP 10 REAL REASONS WHY THE NFL BACKED DOWN OVER PATRIOTS-GIANTS

Thu, 27 Dec 2007 15:42:21 -0500

10. Needed to ensure maximum possible viewers for Jared Lorenzen and Matt Cassel

Giants: Quarterback situation is no joke

Thu, 13 Sep 2007 10:45:38 -0500

Making jokes about New York Giants quarterbacks Eli Manning and Jared Lorenzen has been a favorite pastime for the past couple of seasons. Right now, however, the quarterback situation is no laughing matter.