Yardbarker: DeSean Jackson

NFL Preview: Philadelphia Eagles

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 22:22:18 -0500

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

Sports fans, like everyone else on the planet, live in the story they tell of their lives. Philly Fan's story isn't a pleasant one. And neither, for the most part, is what they think will happen to their football team this year.

You see, it's all been too long, Andy Reid and Donovan McNabb. They've been together forever, with the window of opportunity slamming shut on them either when Terrell Owens went traitorous, when Reid's Kids went Al Qaida, or when David Akers couldn't tie the game against the Giants from distance last December. We all know how the story ends, year after year, and it never ends with a parade down Broad Street.

The Eagles are too old. McNabb is too brittle. They didn't sign the #1 WR that's absolutely essential to opening up the attack. The offensive line, at some point, will have to rely on Winston "Turnstile" Justice. The linebackers are never good enough. The special teams have killed them for the past three years. Brian Dawkins is spent, and Lito Sheppard is overrated, and Asante Samuel is already hurt, and yada yada yada.

Every team has a negative story, and for 31 out of 32, it'll be true. But the funny thing about stories is that for one team, the story changes. Suddenly, Eli Manning can win a big game. So can Peyton Manning. Even dramatically absurd stories like Trent Dilfer and Brad Johnson.

So, assuming the Patriots don't just overwhelm the league and crush through the playoffs like the avenging armies of Hell (and Lucifer's boys have much better linebackers and rarely, if ever, let their quarterback get battered like the Pats did in the SB), some team will have their negative story broken.

But you see, only Eagles Fan really seems to embrace this kind of nonsense. In fact, we tell it to ourselves, to make sure that we don't get our hopes up, because being the first to piss on your team's hopes makes you cooler and smarter than all of the other folks on the bus.

So... can they defy the expectations and the franchise's history since 1960? Well, there are some highly encouraging signs. The schedule is quite easy. The defense will be a lot better with Samuel, assuming he's eventually healthy. They'll get after the quarterback better, since the dessicated remains of Javon Kearse will no longer be around, and they've improved the pass rush with LB Chris Clemons from Oakland. Akers and Sav Rocca probably can't be worse than they were last year, and Desean Jackson has to better than Reno Mahe. (Please, please, please, let us move on from the Reno Mahe Era.)

There is also this... the NFC East, after a season in which every team but the 8-8 Birds made the playoffs, should be worse this year. A lot, lot worse.

The Redskins are trying an unprecedented experiment in giving the head coaching and offensive coordinator reins to a guy (Jim Zorn) that has never held this level of job before. Maybe they'll be healthier, especially on the offensive line, and maybe Jason Campbell is ready to lead... but it's a Daniel Snyder production, so I'm not exactly quaking in fear.

The Cowboys still haven't won a playoff game this millennium, have lost a great deal of their depth with Bill Parcells plundering them to staff Miami, and have been incredibly lucky on injuries for years now. (There's also the fact that with Parcells gone for an increasing amount of time, the magic that is Wade Phillips is going to take hold.)

The Giants might have used up a lifetime of luck last year, and they also lost Michael Strahan to retirement, Jeremy Shockey for future draft picks, and still have to worry a lot about keeping Plax Burress healthy. Add it all up, and it should be that hard to be two of three games better than last year.

So I'm going to be cautiously optimistic, hope for 11-5 and a first round bye (seriously, who in the NFC is going to win 3 out of every 4 games this year? No one in the West or South), and wonder, really, why the story can't be different this year. McNabb's a year past the knee injury, Bryan Westbrook is still the best RB in franchise history, the OL is still good, and Reid has to have more focus than last year.

It probably won't, of course... but what the hell. Why watch sports if you refuse to hope that you're wrong?

Eagles Release 2008 Depth Chart: Some notes on my thoughts

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 10:57:43 -0500

The Eagles released their 2008 dept chart, which you can view here.Some interesting notes from the chart:-- Lito Sheppard and Sheldon Brown are "co-starters" -- that may be a first.-- DeSean Jackson is the #7 receiver on the depth chart, but I wouldn't read too much into that. Gasperson is ahead of him and I'm looking forward to seeing what he can do.-- Quitin Mikell is ahead of Sean Considine at the start of the season for the first time... it's about time the Eagles got that one right. -- Juqua Parker is still holding on the starting spot oposite of Trent Cole. I was expecting Abiamiri to step up and take over the starting spot, but Abiamiri is set to have surgery on his wrist.-- Schoebel is still ahead of newly signed Kris Wilson. Many expect Schoebel to get the boot when the Eagles brought in Wilson from the Chiefs in the offseason.

Linc’d Up: Football Is Almost Here!

Tue, 05 Aug 2008 17:23:07 -0500

Training Camp is winding down, Shawn Andrews has revealed what is going on, and the first pre season game is this Friday! Dawkins knows Andrews' struggles (Burlington Times) Somebody pulled a gun on the Big Kid (Bleeding Green Nation) Eagles State of Mind Is All In (The 700 Level) Exclusive Shawn Andrews Intervention Video (Poor Sports) Eagles Fading in Red [...]

Eagles Training Camp Report

Sun, 03 Aug 2008 15:03:30 -0500

Brian Baldinger from NFL Network has been visiting all the NFL training camps, and this past week he stopped by Lehigh University for Eagles Camp. He shows some of the drills they do, talks to Andy Reid, and Brian Westbrook.

Eagles Jackson Returns To Practice

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 09:05:17 -0500

The Eagles continue training camp today at Lehigh University. Seven players missed practice yesterday due to injury. One player who returned to the field was rookie receiver DeSean Jackson. On Tuesday, Jackson aggravated the right hamstring injury he suffered last month in minicamp. He was back on the practice field following comments made by coach [...]

Eagles Jackson Returns To Practice

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 09:05:17 -0500

Jackson and Booker set to return kicks

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 15:31:33 -0500

Although Jackson is set to return punts, Lorenzo Booker is emerging as the top candidate to return kick offs. Here's the full story.

Jackson and Booker set to return kicks

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 15:31:33 -0500

Although Jackson is set to return punts, Lorenzo Booker is emerging as the top candidate to return kick offs. Here's the full story.

TOP 10 REASONS WHY YOU WON'T WIN YOUR FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 23:39:57 -0500

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

Plenty of places will tell you why your real team is doomed. But who is going to tell you why you're not going to win in Nerd Ball, either -- even though you probably haven't even held your draft yet? Me, that's who. Now step aside and see if you might learn something.

10. Overpreparation. Bought a fantasy football annual already, have you? Congratulations. You do realize that those are written by dyspeptic chimps whose idea of trenchant analysis is that Tom Brady Is Good, and that Fred Taylor is getting old... and that everyone else in your league has also read those words, and half of them are also taking your Cunning Scheme of going the opposite way... and that the only way this overpreparation can end is by challenging a Sicilian in a contest of death. I haven't even gotten started!

9. Underpreparation. I bet you don't even know who DeSean Jackson is, and how he's just one Reggie Brown injury or ineffective play away from putting up big numbers -- I mean, Hank Baskett numbers. ANd here you aren't even aware of how he's holding up so far in Lehigh, or if his Cal-Berkeley bulk can possibly hold up in East Coast humidity. Meanwhile, Reggie Brown's situation is known only to the truly trained insiders who go the extra mile of having trained insider spy scouts on the premises. I'd give up now, if I were you, if it weren't so transparently obvious that you've already done that.

8. Karma. Come on, you never win these things. It's because God hates you for all of those awful things you did behind the dumpster with the fat chick in the stonewashed denim who was OK so long as she didn't, you know, talk. You know where she is now? Rubbing a voodoo doll that looks like you from back then in dryer lint from an old Ryan Leaf jersey. You think you're coming back from that? No chance.

7. Draft position. No one ever wins when they draft from your position -- just look it up, and you'll see that you've got the slot that always winds up with Star Running Injury and Suddenly Useless Veteran. Oh, you're going for Sure Thing WR in the second? Suck on Sudden Disappointment From Aging. Ha ha!

6. Fear. You know that everyone's going to laugh at you when you make your pick, right? They all know more than you, are more decisive, and just have a better feel for this sort of thing. They also know about what you're doing with women's underwear, and how you just can't stop thinking about shoes. That's because, unlike you, they don't have a SHAMEFUL SECRET THAT WILL BE EXPOSED IN THE WHITE HOT FIRE OF THE DRAFT CRUCIBLE. Try not to blink so much.

5. Inebriation. Hey, you know what you need? A little liquid relaxation. Have a cold one; it'll help take the edge off. Besides, you won't be driving for a long time. Heck, have two, it's the best day of the year... especially when you aren't, you know, three sheets to the wind and drafting Kurt Warner in the third because God spoke to you in the bathroom. It's OK, though. God's got your back.

4. Endurance. You know when you're really going to lose this draft? In the late rounds, when I'm going to be pulling diamonds from the rough, and you're going to be drafting Joe Horn. Again. That's because I've spent the last six months prepping for this draft, pulling two a day mocks, and honing my doughy sun-hating body into an absolutely animalistic drafting machine. And so has everyone else in this draft. Muhahahee!

3. Homerism. When push comes to shove, guess who's going to take Aging Skill Player who isn't cutting it anymore, but wears your laundry with pride? That's right, it's you. Of course, this will also mean that you're going to miss out on Emerging SKill Player who will take his numbers and your heart, leaving you with a double case of fantasy homer blue balls. That's because real winners refuse to see players from their favorite team as anything but heartless lumps of meat. The world is ours, my callous brethren!

2. Callousness. Oh, you're learned your lesson this year, and now you're sworn off the siren call of Hero Player on Favorite Team? Fantastic. Finally, the rest of us can get our filthy hands on him, especially now that he's got the magic ju-ju to have his finest year ever. Your smart pick of team and player you don't care a fig about will get vultured in the red zone, wounded in the playoffs, and make you wish you had only listened to your heart. You heartless bastard. How could you?

1. Idiocy. You know what I, the guy who will wind up winning your league, have been doing while you've wasted your time with this sorry bit of timewaste, that you've read entirely in the forlorn hope that there was a nugget of drafting widsom buried deep within? (Julius Jones will be better than people think in Seattle, at least in home games. Willie Parker has some bounce back in him, but he's still going to be Fred Taylor-essue due to the lack of touchdowns. Dwayne Bowe and Roddy White have to be better than last year, because their QBs can't be worse. I'd tell you more, but it'll cost $1.99 a minute, and operators are standing by...)

Well, I've been doing draft prep. And hiring a private investigator to find that fat chick in the denim to show up at the draft and ask you why you never called. And culling together insulting entrance music for each owner. (Yours will be "Fat Bottomed Girls" by Queen. The stonewash chick says it brings back memories.)

And now that you know everything that's going to happen to you in my draft... I don't have to do any of it. BECAUSE YOU'RE ALREADY THINKING ABOUT IT. AND YOU'RE ALREADY DEAD MEAT ON A STICK.

Now, who wants in to my new league? We've still got a few openings!

Abiamiri Injures Wrist

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 22:15:07 -0500

Second year left defensive end Victor Abiamiri has dislocated his right wrist, and there could be ligament damage according to head coach Andy Reid. Reid said that the wrist will require surgery, and VA will likely miss most of training camp. This is very bad news, because the Eagles had very big expectations for Abiamiri this [...]

1ST Full Team Practice with Live Hitting - Highlights

Sun, 27 Jul 2008 21:15:06 -0500

Alright Eagles fans, the moment we've all been waiting for, Training Camp has officially begun. {Obviously the defense was waiting too judging by all the extreme hits!} Below we have some of the highlights of Day 1. - Donovan Mcnabb was amazing and clearly was the best quarterback on the field. Not only were his throws [...]

THE AFTER PARTY

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 16:22:21 -0500

So this is why Cristiano Ronaldo left Nereida Gallardo
Top 10 Female Athletes Who Posed For Playboy
Bill Murray Q&A
Shockey To Saints Is a trap
DeSean Jackson Will Be The Poor Man's Santana Moss

Top Eleven Messages on Brett Favre's Cell
The NFL has something to sell you
Mike Hampton is coming back?
Does Liriano have a Case?
Ana Ivanovic did a little sunbathing in a bikini

Agencies trapped Tour de France drug cheats with stealth molecule
"Charlie Bit My Finger" Kids hitting themselves with bats
Buckeyes need to put Carson Palmer comments behind them
An Early Contender For USC Song Girl Of The Year
Seven movies coming to the NBA this season

Jackson Stealing the Show Early at Eagles Camp

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 14:44:38 -0500

2008 Philadelphia Eagles Training Camp has officially started. And so far, the star of the show has been the 49th overall Eagles 2nd round selection Desean Jackson. The slight hamstring pull in the OTA's for Jackson, is a distant memory after a day and a half of the hot Lehigh humidity. Other then the usual [...]

Jackson Stealing the Show Early at Eagles Camp

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 14:44:38 -0500

Create The Caption #250

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 13:04:22 -0500

(Usually) Everyday I'll throw out a photo from the AP or one of the bigger sites and you provide the caption. Hilarity ensues. I'm also adding a handful of links at the bottom of the page that you should check out each day.

Yesterday's Winners....

"Los Angeles Clippers: bottom of the league in forced turnovers, top of the league in forced smiles."- Anon

"Unable to find a celebrity Clipper fan, Mike Dunleavy and Marcus Camby pose with a cardboard cutout of Nipsey Russell."- Wade Robertson

"Not pictured: Elton Brand in a fit of laughter."- Nicknamed Tony

"You can smile all you want, Marcus, but deep down you know that Zombie Elgin Baylor only has one use for you, and it's not as a defensive stopper..."- Nasty Nate
_______________________________________

Are you funny enough to create a caption for this photo of Bill Laimbeer trying to calm down his players during the brawl last night?

Daily Links:

New Song Girl Photos! (Busted Coverage)
Sports Center Halloween Costumes (Tirico Suave)
An Interview With Cubs Fan Bill Murray (Randball)
The NFL Has Some Glorious Crap (Deuce of Davenport)
Omar Vizquel Sings Goo Goo Dolls (Bugs and Cranks)
Shockey To The Saints Is A Trap! (RCS)
An Interview With Mason Coach Jim Larranaga (Calling the Shots)
The Best Athletes Who Posed In Playboy (All Balls)
OSU Needs To Forget About Carson Palmer (Suck at Sports)
Roundhouse Kicks Rule (Meaningful Collateral)
Who Has The Toughest CFB Schedule? (Moondog Sports)
DeSean Jackson Is A Poor Man's Santana Moss (The Play In CA)