http://www.yardbarker.com/content/player/396 Recent articles about Rob Mackowiak en-us Walt Jocketty said after the game that the Reds have signed Rob Mackowiak, an infielder/outfielder that Washington released. He'll play in Triple-A Louisville. Normally its the Nationals signing former Reds, but oh how the tables have turned! Sat, 28 Jun 2008 23:41:59 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/283728 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/283728 A few words come to mind when I think of the San Diego Padres offense. Punchless, anemic, hapless, weak, maybe even effete or feminine. But as I was sitting here watching Joel Pineiro - Joel "FREAKING" Pineiro - toss seven shutout innings while only allowing four hits in a 5-0 Cardinals win, I could only think of one thing to describe it: Impotent. Yes, one night after Kip "FREAKING" Wells (the same Kip Wells who currently owns 13 losses and a 5.27 ERA) threw seven innings without giving up an earned run in a 2-1 Cardinals win, the Padres were stifled once again. This is getting ridiculous. Going into last night's game, their pitching staff currently has the lowest ERA in the majors, at 3.49, that's 0.32 better than second place. They've combined for 16 shutouts this season, which is seven more than the second place team. With pitching like that they should be running away with the National League West and be favored to win the World Series. But their offense is laughable. Entering last night's game they ranked last in the majors in batting average (.244) and on base percentage (.312), are next to last in hits (943) and are three from the bottom in slugging percentage (.392). To give you some reference, the Yankees are currently first in batting average at .291. Hell, the Orioles are at .274, the Devil Rays are at .269 and even the Royals are at .266. If the Padres had any of those offenses, they'd be far and away the best team in the National League and one of the best in baseball. As of now, they're middling around with a .535 winning percentage, three games behind the Diamondbacks in the NL West. It's awful, of the hitters that qualify (351 plate appearances) Adrian Gonzalez leads the team with a .266 average, Mike Cameron is second at .252 and Khalil Greene is third at - prepare yourselves - .228. Read that again, I'll wait. So what did they do to punch up the offense as the deadline approached? Added Rob Mackowiak (.273), Morgan Ensberg (.231), Scott Hairston (.240) and Michael Barrett (.247). Nice work guys, problems solved, let's get a sandwich and watch the wins roll in. So I'm suggesting a solution. Every Padre hitter must take at least one tablet of Viagra, Cialis or their erectile dysfunction medication of choice, before each game. Cialis would work better for the bench players, so when the moment is right, they'll be ready. Sure it'll lead to some awkward shower time after the game, especially with the Giles brothers and Greg Maddux around, but hey it just might work. Couldn't possibly be worse than it is. By the way, I thought about making a "ring-toss" joke about the aforementioned Giles bros. but we try to keep things classy around here. Normally I'd just suggest they look at a picture of Jessica Alba to add some potency to their bats, but with the recent Jeter-induced herpes rumor going around, that might not do the trick. But honestly, even knowing that, we'd all still hit it. Repeatedly. Fri, 10 Aug 2007 05:47:29 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/22987 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/22987 I had to give a shout out to one of my favorite baseball players of all time, Wally Joyner. The sweet swinging left hander was just named the new hitting coach for the San Diego Padres the other day. After having the kind of year that the Padres are at the plate, I think this was a solid move. Speaking of moves, did anyone notice just how many deals the Padres made before the deadline. You certainly can't fault them for trying to find a way to score runs and aide that vaunted pitching staff. Here's a list: They acquired OF Rob Mackowiak from the White Sox for nonroster RHP Jon Link. Acquired INF Morgan Ensberg and cash from the Astros for a player to be named or cash considerations. Acquired LHP Wilfredo Ledezma and LHP Will Startup from the Braves in exchange for LHP Royce Ring and Requested unconditional release waivers on OF Jose Cruz Jr. Released INF/OF Russell Branyan. Acquired OF Scott Hairston from the Arizona Diamondbacks in exchange for RHP Leo Rosales and signed IF Shea Hillenbrand to a Minor League contract. Traded RHP Scott Linebrink to the Milwaukee Brewers in exchange for LHP Joe Thatcher, RHP Will Inman and LHP Steve Garrison. Thu, 02 Aug 2007 22:20:13 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/22012 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/22012 White Sox season awards... Mark Buehrle – The Tums Award – For upsetting the most stomach's with his performances. Jose Contreras – Egghead Award – For having the biggest head, EVER. Neal Cotts – Worst LOOGY Award – For not being able to get out lefties. Freddy Garcia – Cheech and Chong Award – For watching his fastball disappear behind a giant cloud of weed. See the rest at the source... Sun, 15 Oct 2006 02:22:56 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/3468 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/3468 Scott Podsednik's future on the South Side past this season has been cloudy for the last few months. But on Monday, White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen made the outfielder's future over the remainder of this season a day-to-day question mark. Looks like whatever value Pods still had was just erased. He's not a guy you can count on in your stretch run even for his SB only potential anymore. Tue, 05 Sep 2006 13:08:15 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/2018 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/2018