THE 10 MOST CONFUSING NAMES IN SPORTS

Wed, 17 Sep 2008 20:56:25 -0500

Recently, there was great debate about an LPGA mandate requiring players who did not speak English to, you know...speak English.

Contrary to what many people think, English is not an easy language to master, hence the LPGA's quick reversal on the policy. And I'm here to prove it, with a few sports examples of some names that could've royally confused the Seon-Hwa Lees of the world.

10. Case of the disappearing "Mc-"

Has anyone ever heard Tracy McGrady's named pronounced MICK-GRADY? No, but I'm used to hearing "MA-GRADY" quite often. Yet Kevin McHale is pronounced MICK-HALE. Judges, can we get a ruling?

9. The Nowitzki file.

Please, please, please, announcers...I beg of you...can we decide on how we're going to pronounce this: NOWITZKI or NOVITZKI (the correct version)? He's only played for Dallas since, oh...1998...

8. The dual-letter.

Does it serve a purpose to have two A's in that first name, Isaac Bruce? Or how about your unneccessary L, Brandon Lloyd?

7. Does J=J, or does J=H?

Say "Julio Franco". Now say "Julius Jones". Now say "Albert Pujols". Clearly, this is a pitfall that could trap even the fastest of learners.

6. Making the simple name difficult.

Here in Pittsburgh, we have the great Evgeni Malkin. And after several years in a Pens uniform, people still can't decide whether his name is pronounced MALK-in or MAL-kin. Of course, it would help if he spoke English.

5. The evil "silent letters"

Hey, Dwight Howard, what wrong with your G? There's Jake Delhomme and Bill Cowher, who both waste perfectly good H's. And then there's David Wright, who, much like his team, clearly has no need for a W.

4. Same name, many variations.

What's the right way to spell this first name? You can choose from:

A. Antwaan Randle El

B. Antoine Walker

C. Antowain Smith

D. Antawn Jamison

E. Anton Volchenkov

I know one thing: I'm stumped.

3. The case of Plaxico Burress.

One of the all-time great mysteries in names. His named is spelled PLAXICO, and pronounced PLEXICO. You have to admit, though, the man knows how to wear his headgear.

2. The even more perplexing case of Ricardo Colclough.

My personal favorite, the former Steeler fumble machine pronounces his name "COAK-LEE". That's right, "Lough" now equals "Lee", at least in one household. So you could very well see Cliff Lough pitching for the Indians or Derrek Lough suiting up for the Cubs if the Colcloughs ran the country.

1. Brett Favre.

It's spelled FAVRE and pronounced FARVE. Even EA had trouble with this in Madden '09.

Your turn:

The amateur English professors who took time out of their busy schedule correcting papers to read this will surely make me look foolish for such a silly article. Of course names are pronounced differently, you simpleton! But feel free to add any that I've missed in the comments section.

Yardbarker: Antowain Smith

THE 10 MOST CONFUSING NAMES IN SPORTS