Yardbarker: Eddie Griffin

PREVIEWING THE 2009 CELEBRITY SOFTBALL GAME

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 16:24:03 -0500

by GMoney, The Money Shot

I'm not going to lie to all of the fine Epic Carnival readers out there...I like the Celebrity Softball Game played over the All-Star break. It only takes up an hour of my time, the announcers are having fun, and rich people completely embarrass themselves. This year, other than the former baseball players, we got a heavy dose of New York natives when it came to the celebrity portion of the rosters. Who could ever forget that picturesque double-play executed by former Yankee, Billy Crystal, and Whoopi Goldberg?

But, alas, it's time to turn the page on this year's game (8-7 win by the NL, at least they win something!). Next year, the All-Star game heads to St. Louis for some high-humidity action. It's time to take a look at the potential Missour-a celebs that could be participating in this event in 2009.

Scott Bakula - Major League: Back to the Minors anyone???
Linda Blair - she can mimic Luis Tiant with only her head
Don Cheadle - Hope he keeps that God awful British accent of his at home
Jenna Fischer - I totally want to touch her
John Goodman - have you seen him recently, imagine if Mike Golic was tied to another Mike Golic
Eddie Griffin - All-Star week needs some anti-white humor
Don Johnson - Nash Bridges!
Brad Pitt - if he takes a break from adopting kids/donating sperm
David Koechner - Champ Kind!
Vincent Price - I don't care if he's been dead for 15 years
Burt Bacharach - Ladies and gentleman, Mr. Burt Bacharach
Chuck Berry - just keep an eye on him when he's in the bathroom
Nelly - face band-aid is optional
David Cook - for the kids

Wow, this truly could be a star-studded affair next year. Ah, who am I kidding? The celebrity all-star game peaked in 1994 (with me in attendance) when the great Meat Loaf was PWNING the competition. It will never be the same. Nothing could ever top Bat Out Of Hell destroying Pittsburgh. But I'll still watch and hope that one day Mr. Loaf will once again take the field.

2009 NFL Mock Draft Database

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 16:48:16 -0500

2009 Mock Draft Site Updated No. 1 No. 2 No. 3 NE Patriots Draft 6/15 M.Johnson M.Oher R.Maualuga APFootball 6/15 M.Crabtree M.Oher Laurinaitis NFL Mocks 6/12 M.Crabtree M.Oher M.Stafford New NFL Draft 6/12 M.Oher M.Crabtree Laurinaitis Con Draft 6/9 T.Tebow M.Stafford M.Johnson NFL Draft Blitz 6/7 C.Wells T.Tebow Laurinaitis NFL Draft Dog 6/7 T.Tebow M.Crabtree Laurinaitis Online Sports Fanatic 6/3 M.Crabtree M.Oher M.Stafford New Era Scouting 6/1 R.Maualuga M.Oher M.Jenkins WalterFootball.com: Matt McGuire 5/29 M.Oher G.Selvie M.Crabtree Draft Empire 5/29 M.Oher M.Johnson A.Smith WalterFootball.com 5/28 M.Oher M.Johnson M.Crabtree Real GM Football (LO) 5/23 C.Wells M.Stafford M.Johnson Draft King (LO) 5/23 F.Moala G.Selvie A.Smith 49ers Thoughts (LO) 5/19 T.Tebow M.Jenkins M.Oher Draft Expert (LO) 5/19 M.Oher T.Tebow R.Maualuga Sports Fury 5/16 T.Jackson A.Woods M.Oher Mocking the Draft 5/13 R.Maualuga V.Harris B.Cushing Great Blue North (LO) 5/10 M.Crabtree M.Jenkins A.Smith Heard's Football Report (LO) 5/10 C.Wells T.Tebow P.Harvin Fan Nation: Halosfan 5/9 M.Oher S.Bradford Ju.Williams QI Sports 5/8 A.Woods A.Smith M.Stafford NFL Draft Site 5/8 F.Moala M.Oher P.Loadholt FF Toolbox: Colon 5/6 M.Stafford C.Wells Laurinaitis 53 Deep 5/4 C.Harper M.Crabtree M.Stafford Pro Football Experts 5/4 T.Tebow M.Crabtree M.Oher Red Zone Report: Eddie Griffin 5/4 M.Oher M.Crabtree G.Selvie WalterFootball.com: Greg Haefner 5/2 M.Crabtree M.Oher M.Jenkins Draft Season: Lupagus 5/2 R.Maualuga F.Moala T.Jackson Dotting the I 5/1 M.Stafford M.Oher M.Crabtree Blogging Dirty 5/1 M.Oher F.Moala T.Tebow Draft 32 5/1 M.Oher F.Moala T.Tebow NFL Draft Watch 4/30 M.Oher T.Tebow M.Crabtree NCAA Gridiron Gab 4/30 F.Moala M.Johnson M.Stafford OTB 4/30 F.Moala M.Johnson M.Stafford Fan Nation 4/30 M.Stafford M.Crabtree C.Wells Rivals 4/29 M.Stafford F.Moala M.Oher ESPN: McShay 4/29 F.Moala M.Johnson M.Stafford FOX Sports 4/28 Laurinaitis M.Jenkins A.Smith The Football Expert: Abromowitz 3/27 T.Tebow M.Oher M.Jenkins Like Seriously WTF 1/19 C.Spiller C.Daniel Laurinaitis Sports Genius 11/4 A.Boone M.Manningham B.Olsen

2009 Mock Draft Database

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 22:19:37 -0500

2009 Mock Draft Updated No. 1 No. 2 No. 3 NE Patriots Draft 6/9 M.Johnson M.Oher R.Maualuga NFL Draft Blitz 6/7 C.Wells T.Tebow Laurinaitis APFootball 6/7 M.Crabtree M.Oher Laurinaitis NFL Draft Dog 6/7 T.Tebow M.Crabtree Laurinaitis New NFL Draft 6/5 M.Oher M.Crabtree Laurinaitis Online Sports Fanatic 6/3 M.Crabtree M.Oher M.Stafford WalterFootball.com: Matt McGuire 5/29 M.Oher G.Selvie M.Crabtree WalterFootball.com 5/28 M.Oher M.Johnson M.Crabtree Real GM Football 5/23 C.Wells M.Stafford M.Johnson Draft King 5/23 F.Moala G.Selvie A.Smith 49ers Thoughts 5/19 T.Tebow M.Jenkins M.Oher Draft Expert 5/19 M.Oher T.Tebow R.Maualuga Sports Fury 5/16 T.Jackson A.Woods M.Oher Mocking the Draft 5/13 R.Maualuga V.Harris B.Cushing Great Blue North 5/10 M.Crabtree M.Jenkins A.Smith Heard's Football Report 5/10 C.Wells T.Tebow P.Harvin Fan Nation: Halosfan 5/9 M.Oher S.Bradford Ju.Williams QI Sports 5/8 A.Woods A.Smith M.Stafford NFL Draft Site 5/8 F.Moala M.Oher P.Loadholt FF Toolbox: Colon 5/6 M.Stafford C.Wells Laurinaitis Con Draft 5/5 T.Tebow M.Stafford M.Johnson 53 Deep 5/4 C.Harper M.Crabtree M.Stafford Pro Football Experts 5/4 T.Tebow M.Crabtree M.Oher Red Zone Report: Eddie Griffin 5/4 M.Oher M.Crabtree G.Selvie WalterFootball.com: Greg Haefner 5/2 M.Crabtree M.Oher M.Jenkins Draft Season: Lupagus 5/2 R.Maualuga F.Moala T.Jackson Dotting the I 5/1 M.Stafford M.Oher M.Crabtree Blogging Dirty 5/1 M.Oher F.Moala T.Tebow Draft 32 5/1 M.Oher F.Moala T.Tebow NFL Draft Watch 4/30 M.Oher T.Tebow M.Crabtree NCAA Gridiron Gab 4/30 F.Moala M.Johnson M.Stafford OTB 4/30 F.Moala M.Johnson M.Stafford Fan Nation 4/30 M.Stafford M.Crabtree C.Wells Rivals 4/29 M.Stafford F.Moala M.Oher ESPN: McShay 4/29 F.Moala M.Johnson M.Stafford FOX Sports 4/28 Laurinaitis M.Jenkins A.Smith The Football Expert: Abromowitz 3/27 T.Tebow M.Oher M.Jenkins Like Seriously WTF 1/19 C.Spiller C.Daniel Laurinaitis Sports Genius 11/4 A.Boone M.Manningham B.Olsen

Most bang for your buck

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 11:06:51 -0500

SI top 5 slary efficent teams and bottom 4 5 Most efficient franchises What is the price of winning? Try dividing each team's payroll by the number of wins. Many teams perform this exercise at the end of the regular season to see if they spent their money efficiently. With two weeks left in the season, I have forecast the final win total for each team based on its winning percentage as of Wednesday morning. This isn't a perfect formula -- it doesn't account for luxury-tax payments, for example -- but it gives a sense for the different strategies of each team and how those plans paid off this season. 5. Boston Celtics, $1.15 million per win. The Celtics took on a huge financial risk when they committed to paying Garnett, Paul Pierce and Ray Allen a combined $56 million this season. Their $74.5 million payroll hikes them over the luxury-tax threshold of $67.9 million, but the resulting increase in ticket sales and the extra home dates in the playoffs will more than compensate. As you'll see from other teams detailed in this week's Countdown, it's not enough to lay out big piles of cash -- the Celtics have also spent wisely. T-4. Orlando Magic, $1.14 million per win. Their six-year, $112 million gamble on Rashard Lewis (18.4 points, 5.4 rebounds) won't create pressure on their overall payroll until next season, when Dwight Howard's salary more than doubles to $13 million. For this season the Magic ($58.1 million payroll) are cashing in on the surprising improvement of Hedo Turkoglu (a relative bargain at $6.4 million) and the cost-effective play of point guard Jameer Nelson, though the perspective on him will change next year when his salary jumps to $7.6 million from its current $2 million. T-4. Detroit Pistons, $1.14 million per win. The Spurs of the East continue to benefit from financial discipline. The best players make the most money, there isn't a bad contract on the roster, and they remain under the luxury tax at $67.1 million. The Pistons are preparing for the future by developing an inexpensive, young bench led by Rodney Stuckey, Jason Maxiell, Arron Afflalo and Amir Johnson, who are making a total of $7.2 million this season. The next big decision won't come up until 2009, when Rasheed Wallace (currently getting $12.5 million) will be a free agent as a 34-year-old. 2. Utah Jazz, $1.12 million per win. Maybe Andrei Kirilenko is overpaid at $13.7 million, but he's also a full-court game-changer capable of making the big defensive plays in the postseason. Carlos Boozer ($11.6 million) and Mehmet Okur ($9 million) have turned out to be worthy of their salaries, and the Jazz ($60.7 million payroll) get important contributions from Matt Harpring ($6 million) and Kyle Korver ($4.6 million). Issues will arise by 2009 when Utah must contemplate new deals for Deron Williams, Ronnie Brewer and Paul Millsap, who are working on relatively cheap rookie contracts. 1. New Orleans Hornets, $1.11 million per win. Owner George Shinn has made big investments over the last two years and look how they've paid off: David West ($10.7 million) has turned into an All-Star while Peja Stojakovic ($11.7 million) has recovered from back surgery to join Tyson Chandler ($10.3 million) as key contributors to the Western Conference front-runners. The short-term beauty of the payroll is the $3.6 million rookie-contract salary of team leader and MVP candidate Chris Paul. His command of a maximum salary within two years may force the Hornets to unload one of their big contracts. But who knows the future for Paul or the Hornets themselves in New Orleans? Much can change in two years, but for the time being no team is realizing more production from its payroll ($63.1 million) than the Hornets. 4. Minnesota Timberwolves, $3.05 million per win. In their post-KG makeover, the Wolves ($64.1 million payroll) this season are accountable for $24 million in salaries to a half-dozen players who are no longer with the franchise (including Eddie Griffin, who died in August at age 25). Though Minnesota negotiated buyout reductions on some of those contracts, they are examples of a franchise that has wasted a lot of money over the years. They can, however, realize plenty of cap space in 2009 after the commitments to Antoine Walker ($9.1 million next season) and Greg Buckner ($4 million) expire along with the phantom contracts of Juwan Howard and Troy Hudson. One more year of reclamation before the new era can begin. 3. Seattle SuperSonics, $3.18 million per win. Disagree with their methods, but at least the Sonics have a plan. They have dealt away assets and taken on short-term salary while accruing a pair of No. 1 picks in each of the next three NBA drafts. The goal is to build a winning program from the ground up around Kevin Durant. Their $60.4 million payroll drops to $48.4 million next season (not including their upcoming rookie salaries) and in 2009 they could have space to sign a max free agent. At which time we'll learn if a star can be recruited to live and play in Oklahoma City. 2. New York Knicks, $4.33 million per win. The big surprise is that the Knicks are no longer the league's most profligate franchise. Their payroll is $10.1 million less than the league-leading $105.4 million of the Dallas Mavericks, and in 2009-10 the Knicks' commitments drop to a manageable $63 million as Stephon Marbury comes off the books. There is still plenty of waste in the redundant salaries paid to low-post scorers Eddy Curry ($8.9 million this season) and Zach Randolph ($13.3 million), along with Quentin Richardson ($8.1 million), Malik Rose ($7.1 million), Jared Jeffries ($5.6 million) and especially Jerome James ($5.8 million), who is in a useless category of his own. New team president Donnie Walsh doesn't need to get rid of all of them; if he can clear out some of the fat while rebuilding around a rookie like Derrick Rose or Michael Beasley, the Knicks can show quick improvement without having to start over from scratch. 1. Miami Heat, $5.39 million per win. The Heat are paying $75.5 million in payroll for this? Of course, things would look more promising if Dwyane Wade and Alonzo Mourning were healthy in combination with Shawn Marion, who arrived in the midseason trade that dislodged Shaquille O'Neal's contract ($21 million annually through 2009-10). If you view their current disaster as a consequence of their all-out investment to win the 2006 championship, then this season is a small price to pay. The question is whether they can limit the damage to one year. Next season they'll owe more than $40 million alone to Wade, Marion and Mark Blount. They must turn their high draft pick into a star and bring Wade back to good health in order to show big improvement in 2008-09. Depending on how they deal with Marion's expiring $17.8 million salary next season (assuming he doesn't opt out this summer), they could have major cap space in 2009. But it's not like Pat Riley to wait so long. Expect an aggressive strategy ASAP. Check link for full article

Rewinding the Passion and Pride covering of the Billy King firing

Wed, 05 Dec 2007 05:42:48 -0500

Passion and Pride's Jon Burkett says, "Whether Ed Stefanski can help us turn it around or not remains to be seen, but he will give it his best shot. To leave the same post with a division rival to take this job just speaks confidence into Stefanski's perspective on the situation he's coming into. I highly doubt he would give up his job security with the Nets to come in to Philadelphia on a blind faith in the Philly connections he has made through the years..."

Great Moments In Athletic Masturbation

Thu, 23 Aug 2007 13:41:17 -0500

Eddie Griffin's last newsworthy accomplishment was masturbating in public. Here's a list of athletes who have shook hands with their monster and gotten caught.

In Drunken Driving Masturbation News...

Wed, 06 Dec 2006 19:10:49 -0500

Eddie Griffin pled guilty to charges of "inattentive driving" on Monday. By inattentive driving the court means "Jerking off to dashboard porno while driving drunk."

Eddie Griffin guilty of inattentive driving, self-gratification

Wed, 06 Dec 2006 07:40:47 -0500

The I-TEAM report showed surveillance tape of Griffin's Cadillac Escalade truck smashing into an SUV parked in front of Santana Foods grocery store on University Avenue in southeast Minneapolis. Store owner Abed Hassuneh said Griffin was drunk and told him he had been watching pornography on his dashboard DVD player. "The guy was drunk and he was performing sex to himself inside the car," Hassuneh said. In the surveillance tape, Griffin can be heard saying "It's like I am drunk, I'm drunk" and seen struggling for several minutes to put on his sweatshirt.