Yardbarker: Jake Voskuhl

One Poorly Lit Moment

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 23:00:00 -0500

Each day up until the big dance, we will be profiling a player whose effort during March Madness will never be forgotten, thanks to wikipedia and old ass VHS tapes in the cabinet. Here's our tribute, aptly titled "One Poorly Lit Moment"......

Jake Voskuhl, C, UCONN, 1996-2000.

Fun Fact: Born Robert Jacob Voskuhl, "Jake" was a brother of the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity while in Storrs. Joining PiKes was a perfect move for this member of the 1999 National Championship team, as the 3+ years of relevance on campus preceded no one in the real world caring about your accomplishments in a drug and sex-fueled environment while in your early 20s.

NBA Scouts Comparison: A less aggressive Matt Bonner
Real Life Comparison: A less dead Bison Dele.

Clip that sums up his NBA days (btw its never good to get compared to toilet paper):

Clip from the better days--Jake tries to be a hero with the ever-cunning attempt at a 5 footer.

Blazers Consider Adding Kenny Thomas

Sat, 27 Feb 2010 10:32:27 -0500

Portland is showing interest in Kenny Thomas, Brian Cook, Jake Voskuhl and Dan Dickau...

Worst of the Night: February 2, 2010

Wed, 03 Feb 2010 06:38:00 -0500

Warning: Looking directly at this picture may cause temporary vision loss.The Chicago Bulls: Just last week, the Bulls made NBA history by becoming the first team to ever win five consecutive games against winning teams on a single road trip. I repeat: No other team in the history of this grand league has ever accomplished that feat. Not the 60s era Celtics who won 11 championships in 13 seasons. Not the 1971-72 Lakers who won 33 straight games. No Larry Bird team did it, no Magic Johnson team did it, not even the Michael Jordan-led Bulls squad that won a league record 72 games did it.That's damn impressive...which is why seeing them follow up that achievement by losing at home to the Los Angeles Clippers felt like watching my grandma have sex with Bigfoot. It was nauseating and mind-bending, but I could not look away. Chicago shot 38 percent from the field and gave up 26 points on 20 turnovers. And those numbers cannot do justice to the ugly-ass basketball the Bulls played. The play that best epitomized this gak-fest was when Luol Deng dribbled the ball for 10 seconds and then tried to shoot over an "in-his-face" Marcus Camby, who of course swatted the shot.What happened to that "us against the world" mentality that carried them through a tough seven-game Western Conference road trip? The Bulls came out flat and, at times, looked intimidated by the Clippers' 18th ranked defense. Camby (11 points, 9 rebounds, 4 steals, 4 blocks) was an impenetrable wall. Chris Kaman (21 points, 11 boards) was a bully. And the Chicago players apparently needed a map to locate Eric Goron (a game-high 24 points, including 18 in the first half). Ditto for Rasual Butler (16 points, 6-for-8, 3-for-3 from downtown).Said Derick Rose: "We were just making bad plays, making bad decisions. It was tough the whole night."Added Captain Kirk: "We were doing what it takes to win on the road. Tonight we lacked intensity and got beat for it."Admitted Joakim Noah: "We didn't come with the right energy."Concluded Vinny Del Negro: "We're not a team that can take anyone lightly. When your top players don't play well, it's hard to beat good teams. It's hard to beat any team, for that matter."Thanks, co-captains obvious. As Basketbawful reader mguard put it: "For the Bulls dismal performance against the Clippers, I think they deserve a 'we are who they thought they were.' I mean WTF BULLS? They pulls off this miraculous five-game road winning streak to come home flat like this against the CLIPPERS? Someone please explain how the potent team chemistry of the Clippers has the Bulls number? It's just really disappointing."No kidding. If you want more fun facts from this not-so-fun loss, I know of this great Bulls blog...The Memphis Grizzlies: Hm. Second night of back-to-backs...on the road against the league's best team...you know where I'm going with this right? The Griz fell behind by 12 points after one quarter, by 18 at halftime, and by 24 after three quarters and eventually lost 105-89.Shocker.Led by Zach Randolph's 3-for-14 stink bomb, Memphis shot 38 percent for the game and missed 12 of their 14 three-point attempts. Z-Bo also managed only 4 rebounds and had a game-high 5 turnovers (versus zero assists).To Grizzlies coach Lionel Hollins' credit, he refused to blame his team's weary legs: "Last night had nothing to do with tonight. Tonight had to do with the Cleveland Cavaliers and what they did defensively and what they did offensively.""What they did offensively"...yes...King Crab had 15 assists and The Big Geritol (13 points, 13 boards, 4 blocked shots) dominated Randolph and Marc Gasol during a second-quarter stretch in which he scored seven straight points and then found LeBron for a layup. Tired teams sure do have a way of turning back the hands of time. Or was Shaq laying like a giant, bloated snake in the grass all along...LeBron James, quote machine: "[Shaq] looks great. He's motivated. When Mo and Delonte went down he decided to step his game up, which we knew he could do. He's just playing with a little bounce in his step that he didn't have at the start. But he had a different mindset than we all thought. We all thought he was playing slow, he was just saving himself for the second half of the season. He tricked all of us, I guess."Wait...was that a compliment? Or a backhanded dis? I can't quite tell.The Toronto Craptors: Now these are the Craptors we know and love...to make fun of. The Dinos gave up 130 points on 52+ percent shooting to one of the worst offensive teams in the league. Huzzah! Huzzah, I say!By the way, those 130 points represented a season high in scoring for the Pacers, who had notched fewer than 100 points in six of their previous nine games. Their 50 points in the paint were also a season-best. Oh, and this game was just the fifth time the Indy shot better than 50 percent this season. Wait, wait, one more. The Pacers shot 76 percent and scored 42 points in the third, one point short of their season high for a single period.Craptors = Defensive Fail.What a way to waste Andrea Bargnani's career-high 34 points.Jarrett Jack, explanation machine: On why his team played so craptastically against the usually craptastic Pacers: "The reason we came out the way we did, I don't know exactly why." Well, thanks for clearing that up.Pictured: A facepalm of puzzlement.Jim O'Brien (??): The Pacers coach had to miss the game due to a family funeral, and the team inexplicably rallied around assistant coach Lester Connor.Said Connor: "The guys gave me all they wanted, and I said, 'Hey, you guys are telling me congratulations, it's congratulations to you because you guys needed this more than I did.' When the substitute teacher is around, you want to try to do good or try to test him to see what he has. Those guys went out and played their hearts out."Meanwhile, the players said they wanted to win for Conner.Said Troy Murphy: "Les is a lot of fun, he's a great assistant coach. He's a guy you can always talk to and he's a good dude. We're happy he got the win."Uhm...shouldn't the Pacers always want to win, both for their head coach and for themselves?The Milwaukee Bucks: Hm. Second night of back-to-backs...on the road against one of the league's best teams...you know where I'm going with this right? The Bucks clobberated the Heat in Miami on Monday and then got clobberated themselves against the Magic in Orlando.The "storyline" of this game was the "return" of Vinsanity, who had 17 points, 10 rebounds and 7 assists while going 7-for-15 from the field. That's not a great shooting night by normal standards, but it's great based on what Carter did in January...when he shot 28 percent from the field.Said Vince: "Maybe January just wasn't my month."Carter wasn't done. When asked if he was motivated to play well because of his recent slumpiness, Vince said: "Yeah, to keep you guys off my back. ... Most of the frustration comes from everybody always harping on it. And I understand that, the different facets of the game and what comes with it. I just say keep playing."Stan Van Gundy, fluff machine: Ron Jeremy's evil twin was almost ready to blow Vince for having his firt good game in, what, forever? Said Stan: "He has to remember who he is. He's had one bad month, but he has had an unbelievable career."Unbelievable? Really?! What does he have on his resume other than "Former Slan Dunk Champ"? Heck, Nate Robinson's resume looks almost as good.The New Jersey Nyets: The tragic comedy of the 2009-10 New Jersey Nyets continued with a 97-93 home loss to the Detroit Pistons, who had lost five in a row and looked like the worst team in the league doing so. Mind you, the Pistons have scored fewer than 100 points in 23 of their last 24 games, and they've shot under 50 percent in 24 straight games. But the Nyets proved that there's only one worst team in the league...and its located in New Jersey.It was yet another kick in the balls for what may end up being the worst team in NBA history. Brook Lopez finished with 27 points (11-of-16) and Devin Harris returned from a four-game layoff to score 24 points and dish out a season-high 14 assists, but the Nyets missed six of their last seven shots and were outscored 10-2 in the final 2:22.Said Jarvis Hayes: "We definitely have to learn how to win."Yeah. Definitely.Rip Hamilton and Ben Wallace, hope machines: The Pistons "improved" their record to a lowly 16-31 last night, and, amazingly, they actually sounded hope-y afterwards.Said The Phantom of Auburn Hills: "We're far from done. This is not over. We just have to get healthy. When you have all your guys, it takes a load off your shoulders. Now, we just have to play together a little, get some chemistry and we'll be all right."Added Big Ben: "We just need to get a couple of wins to get us going. This is a good start. If we play at a high level, good things will happen. We're still searching for a rhythm and still building that chemistry. Once we get on the same page, we'll be fine."Reality check: You guys needed a series of clutch plays and a complete shooting meltdown by your opponents to pull out a last-minute win over a team that's 4-43. Am I missing something?The Atlanta Hawks: Yes, the Hawks are a good team this season. Some nights, they're even very good. But last night's 106-99 loss to the Thunder in Oklahoma City was the sixth loss in their last eight road games. On the season, they're 11-12 outside of Atlanta. Legit contenders can win on the road...and that's where the Hawks are still pretty shaky.Said Atlanta coach Mike Woodson: "We just couldn't get stops. Defensively right now and rebounding the basketball, we're struggling in those two areas and those are the main two areas that you've got to be clicking to win games, especially on the road."By the way, Kevin Durant (33 points, 9-for-18 from the field, 14-for-14 from the line) became the first player since Allen Iverson nine seasons ago to score at least 25 points in 22 consecutive games. Sorry, Frail Blazer fans.The Gol_en State Warriors: After going 7-9 in their previous 16 games -- all of which were decided by 10 points or less -- the Rockets shot 50 percent from the field, scored 56 points in the paint, led by as many as 28 and ended up winning 119-97.Man, it must feel great to match up against a team that wouldn't play defense if the fate of their wives and mistresses depended on it.Said Stephen Curry: "We couldn't find it offensively. For us to be competitive, we have to be able to make plays and we didn't."Uh, Stephen, offense is not your team's problem, okay? Letting the Rockets score 39 points in the first quarter...now that's a problem.The Insanity of the ESPN Trade Machine: Crazy, stuff...just crazy.Lacktion report: Chris took a short break from generating trades to report the Tuesday night lacktion:Raptors-Pacers: Patrick O'Bryant has had fewer opportunities to lack it up lately in the land before time, but this time tossed a brick in 1:25 for a +1. (To put it in perspective how rarely he has been out there to avoid contribution, O'Bryant - who was supposed to lead Toronto's Little Three of Lacktivity last year with Jake Voskuhl and Nathan Jawai - is the 182nd player in the Association this year to make the ledger, and the 155th to record a suck differential!)Pistons-Nyets: Kwame Brown negated a steal and board in 6:26 with a foul and giveaway for a 2:1 Voskuhl.Clippers-Bulls: Bobby Brown crooned a tune in Mario Paint in just 43 seconds!Warriors-Rockets: With Clutch the Bear dancing in celebration tonight, Joey Dorsey lost the rock once in 2:33 for a +1 (and a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl) while Brian Cook also earned the same suck differential in the same timespan via brick.

Schroeder: The Latest on the Search for the 17th Man

Tue, 29 Dec 2009 17:03:47 -0500

Scott Schroeder of Ridiculous Upside with new details that clarify earlier reports about the players who might fill the 17th spot (second hardship exemption) for the Portland Trail Blazers. I've received word from a league source that it definitely isn't Dwayne Jones. I did find out however that both Jones and Jake Voskuhl (yes, that Jake Voskuhl) were in Portland Monday for a workout, though Portland had no plans to sign either player following the workout. There was no mention of Barron.The remaining possibilities include Barron if he was indeed at Monday's workout or former Blazer Shavlik Randolph. Randolph was recently released by the Miami Heat. Rod Benson, the leading vote getter in this poll, has not been contacted by the Blazers front office and is seemingly not a candidate. -- Ben Golliver | benjamin.golliver@gmail.com | Twitter

Kings struggle at line in loss to Jazz

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 02:21:16 -0500

It could be Jake Voskuhl, someone else, or perhaps no one at all. But the Kings' 95-85 loss to Utah in their exhibition finale Friday night at Arco Arena made one thing clear: They could use another big man. After the free-throw lessons, that is, as they hit just 28 of 45 while falling to 2-5 in the exhibition season in front of an announced crowd of 11,104. The Kings' frontcourt deficiency was clear even before tipoff, when coach Paul Westphal described the ways in which he's trying to make the most of his undersized front line. For the second game in a row, he started 6-foot-9 Sean May at center instead of 7-footer Spencer Hawes next to forward Jason Thompson. "When we start Spencer and Jason together, if one of them gets in foul trouble and the other one needs a rest, then we're awfully small," Westphal said. "If we do it like this, we should be able to at least be big enough at the five spot throughout the course of the game, despite fatigue and injury." Westphal said nothing changed afterward and he'll reassess the situation before deciding who starts in the regular-season opener Wednesday at Oklahoma City, this despite Hawes turning in the worst shooting night of his career. Hawes entered with 3:45 left in the first quarter, then proceeded to go 0 of 6 from the field, including two three-pointers, and 1 of 6 from the free-throw line. He refused to blame his outing on the adjustment to coming off the bench but clearly was unhappy with the notion that he might not start come the regular season. "I guess I've just got to adjust to it," he said. "Obviously, I got accustomed to starting, but if that's what (Westphal) asks, then I've got to be ready." As Hawes pointed out, much of the talk within the organization last season was of Hawes and Thompson forming the front line of the future. Assistants Pete Carril and Shareef Abdur-Rahim worked with the pair to improve their cohesion and chemistry, and Hawes said he hopes that combination returns soon. "One of the most positive notes we took from last year was Jason and my ability to play together," he said. "The games when we really clicked last year, that chemistry was really obvious and something we built on and going to be a cornerstone of this franchise." Yet Westphal has even fewer reserve options with any size than his predecessors did, although that could change. Agent Mark Bartelstein said he has spoken to the Kings about Voskuhl, a 6-11 center who was waived by Dallas on Wednesday. The Kings appear to have some interest, but there remains a hesitance to retain the league limit of 15 players unless the addition is significant. The Kings' 38.8 percent shooting effort again revealed the need for a shooter. Starting small forward Desmond Mason continued to struggle, missing all four of his shots and finishing the exhibition season 6 of 28 overall. Small forward Omri Casspi (13 points) started for shooting guard Kevin Martin, who sat for the second consecutive game because of a sprained left ankle. Martin, who plans to play in the opener, insisted this is unrelated to the ankle injury that limited him to 51 games last season. Kings point guard Tyreke Evans led all scorers with 21 points but had a game-high seven turnovers against five assists. May played well, finishing with 10 points on 5-of-8 shooting with seven rebounds in 19 minutes.

Jake Voskuhl is possibility for Kings as additional big, but nothing doing now, according to agent...

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 19:06:37 -0500

Jake Voskuhl is possibility for Kings as additional big, but nothing doing now, according to agent Mark Bartelstein. No on Udoka. From Sam Amick

Jake Voskuhl unsure if he'll play for Team USA at 2010 world championships

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 12:57:13 -0500

Jake Voskuhl is the latest basketball player to waver on playing for Team USA at the 2010 world championships, joining Dwyane Wade, LeBron James and others. "I would love to be part of that...Hear More »

Mavs sign center Jake Voskuhl

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 12:35:11 -0500

As Eddie mentioned earlier, the Mavs have followed through with the plan and officially signed veteran center Jake Voskuhl, which finalizes the training camp roster. The details of the deal were not disclosed. From the press release: Voskuhl (6-11, 255) joins the Mavericks after spending last season with Toronto where he averaged 1.6 rebounds and 6.3 minutes in 38 appearances. Dallas is the sixth stop for Voskuhl, a nine-year veteran, who has also played for Chicago, Phoenix, Charlotte and Milwaukee. After being drafted in the second round (33rd overall pick) of the 2000 NBA Draft, the former Connecticut Husky spent his rookie season in the Windy City before moving onto Phoenix the following season. In 2003-04, his best season as a pro, Voskuhl averaged 6.6 points, 5.2 rebounds, 1.2 blocks and 24.3 minutes through 66 games (43 starts) for the Suns. Voskuhl has made one appearance in the postseason (2002-03 with Phoenix) and holds averages of 6.0 points, 3.7 rebounds and 16.3 minutes per game in six outings. Voskuhl owns career marks of 4.0 points, 3.4 rebounds and 14.3 minutes through 450 games (93 starts). Click through to see the complete, finalized training camp roster.

The Mavs Continue to Tweak

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 19:30:31 -0500

Marc Stein has traded Manchester, England for Dallas, Texas and is back on the NBA beat. He has this report on the Mavericks' roster adjustments headed into training camp: In one of the last roster moves before training camps open, Jake Voskuhl has signed a non-guaranteed contract with the Dallas Mavericks. His chances of making the Mavs' roster would appear to be slim, since Dallas already has 16 players with guaranteed contracts even after the recent release of swingman Greg Buckner. But with forward Tim Thomas out for the next month-plus after needing knee surgery last week and Nathan Jawai not in the Mavericks' long-term plans, Dallas apparently felt that it needed one more big man in training camp. Voskuhl played in 38 games last season for the Toronto Raptors and is entering his 10th season after stints with Chicago, Phoenix, Charlotte, Milwaukee and Toronto.

Josh Smith Dunks On Jake Voskuhl

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 06:09:00 -0500

Josh Smith delivers some nastiness to the Bobcats.

Good News Raps Fans: Voskuhl Scores 4!!!! Raps Lose.... Again... But Voskuhl Scores 4!

Sun, 21 Dec 2008 00:45:59 -0500

Oh yeah. Good energy from the Raps tonight. Jamario Moon and Jake Voskuhl wore their "rally" headbands and I think Jose Calderon got a haircut.First quarter, the Raps looked a lot different tonight and it was for the better. They were moving the ball up the floor faster getting some easy baskets. The Raps led 25-20 after 1. In the second quarter, there was a Jake Voskul sighting!!! San Antonio outscored the Raps 36-21 in the second and led 56-48 at the half. Raps shot well, shooting 46% from the field....

Top Ten Things Heard at the Air Canada Centre on Wednesday Night

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 04:10:28 -0500

You got it all wrong! The A.C.C Crowd Wasn't Booing.. Ok, ok, Raptor fans are pissed. Chris Bosh has been horrible as of late, Bargnani has no confidence whatsoever, the Raptors are not closing out games and the biggest news today are the stories of the Toronto fans booing the Raps at Wednesday ...

10 Interesting Facts About Jake Voskuhl

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 06:17:14 -0500

Ever since the Raptors signed free agent 6-11 centre Jake Voskuhl on Monday, I was excited to get the lowdown on him as he may be the missing piece of the puzzle for the Raps. I've seen him play a few times with the Charlotte Bobcats and Phoenix Suns and was curious to see what he was all about....

Ring Around the Posey, With A Pocketful of Six Threes

Sun, 14 Dec 2008 22:09:47 -0500

What a tough matchup for Toronto with CP3 and his New Orleans Hornets in town. It was a Jose Calderon-Chris Paul point guard matchup and it was also the return of MoPete to Toronto, one of the Raps' all-time faves. Unfortunately, he was a DNP - Coach's Decision. The first quarter had the Raps ...