Yardbarker: Jason Schmidt

Don't let your kid pitch for this team

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 15:09:52 -0500

by DCScrap, on 205th magazine

This weekend Dusty Baker will be the fill-in coach for 9-year-old son Darren's 10-and-under traveling tournament team.

In other news, every player's parents refuse to let their kid pitch this weekend for fear of them becoming the next Mark Prior.

"The head coach is away for the weekend. I begged my dad to coach the team," Darren said. "I'm very excited because it was his dream to always coach me."

Apparently Darren is too young to know the names Shawn Estes, Kerry Wood, Aaron Harang, Russ Ortiz, Kirk Rueter, Jason Schmidt, and Matt Clement, among others...

Manny Ramirez looking for 5 yrs, 85 Million?

Wed, 08 Oct 2008 20:06:52 -0500

Manny Ramirez had an impact with the Dodgers, where he had 53 RBI in the 53 regular-season games after being acquired from Boston, and went 5-for-10 with two RBI in the Dodgers sweep of the Cubs In the National League Division Series.

Ramirez has been on a good behavior, trying to redevelop a free-agent market after his pouting session that helped him for his way out of Boston.

Word, however, is that the Dodgers realize he doesn't fit their long-term needs. A defensive liability in a ballpark that puts an emphasis on defense doesn't compute over the long-term, and Ramirez is looking for a five-year deal. Owner Frank McCourt already has an expensive education on the problems of signing free agents with the likes of Jason Schmidt, Andruw Jones and Juan Pierre, and will be hesitant to go overboard again.

Agent Scott Boras has let it be known through his media outlets that the expectation is for at least five years and $85 million in a deal for Ramirez.

Source: Rocky Mountain News

As much as Omar Minaya loves Ramirez, I think he will pass on Ramirez.... But if the Mets can get him for 2 yrs or 1 yr with option that seems more doable!

What do you think?, make comments...............

Manny Ramirez looking for 5 yrs, 85 Million?

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 21:15:57 -0500

The Media Circus

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 13:38:46 -0500

For whatever reason, football analysts more than any other subset of media folk love to state the obvious. Whether the obvious statement is due to the analyst's perceived lack of intelligence of the viewing audience or due to said announcer's actual intelligence level remains to be seen. Week 3 provided us with two examples of an obvious description, courtesy of Fox's Matt Vasgersian and NBC's John Madden (obvious JSF statement: you're not surprised Madden was responsible.)

For Vasgersian, his play-by-play of Julian Peterson's sack, forced fumble and fumble recovery led to his announcement that Peterson just completed the trifecta. That in and of itself was fine; but then Vasgersian felt compelled to explain what he meant by the trifecta. The TV replay surely couldn't explain it through moving pictures, and we had never watched a football game prior to Sunday, so his description of Peterson's trifecta followed a smooth, step-by-step explanation.

A few hours later at Lambeau Field, John Madden analyzed Adam Jones' forced fumble and fumble recovery off Ryan Grant as a "two-for", 'Ya know, because he forced the fumble and he recovered the fumble.'

Last and never least, Chris Berman narrated highlights of the Vikings' Antoine Winfield sacking Jake Delhomme, forcing and recovering a fumble, and running it in for a touchdown. It was football's version of the 3-point play.

And there we were, watching from the couch engulfed with knowledge. Feeling stronger with our every breath that we too could put this complex lesson into practice. With nothing left to do, we picked up the remote, turned off the television and walked out of the room.

We mastered the Berman trifecta.

John Madden to write and direct screenplay for porno starring Jason Witten

Ask your fellow football fan what player John Madden man-loves the most and odds are you'll get the standard F***e answer. After watching Sunday night's game from Lambeau Field, we - and John Madden - have something to say about that. That being the Cowboys tight end.

Yes, after sitting through one quarter of the second half, we came to the unanimous conclusion that if given the chance, Madden would direct, distribute and write an adult video featuring Jason Witten.

The evidence:

"You know he's special."

The type of special player and special person that kindles that special kind of romance.

"That's when I knew he was my guy."

A big, athletic football player running without a helmet on can sweep anyone off their feet, John.

"He does everything that a tight end has ever done."

He shakes his end and has that cute little twinkle in his eye while twisting, doesn't he?

"If I had to choose, I'd take Jason Witten and say 'you come with me and we'll go play. You name the game."

Any game? Any game at all.

"This guy does it all from every position."

Interesting.

Warning: St. Louis Homer Rant Forthcoming (skip down about 800 words if you choose to avoid)

It seems like every year, we are forced to set aside a little chunk of the Media Circus around this time to mock a ridiculous argument for someone other than Albert Pujols to win the National League MVP. Three years ago, it was Harold Reynolds' ill-informed diatribe about Andruw Jones. Two years ago, it was Michael Wilbon and his misconceptions about of clutch hitting prowess of Carlos Beltran.

After a hiatus in 2007, we're back in action again thanks to Fox Sports' Mark Kriegel and his ridiculous suggestion that Manny Ramirez ? he of two months in the National League ? deserves to be the NL MVP. Take it away, Mark?

No one has done as much for a single team this season as Manny Ramirez has done for Los Angeles.

Let's try this again? "No one has done as much for a single team in the last two months of this season as Manny Ramirez has done for Los Angeles." Better.

Not only has he transformed the Dodgers, he's changed the balance of power in the National League.

Indeed he has. Now instead of the Diamondbacks, it will be the Dodgers assuming the role of worst team in the NL to make the playoffs.

Conventional wisdom says the league's most valuable player is Albert Pujols, who is hitting .354 with 34 homers and 104 RBIs. The MVP ballot's first two criteria are, first, "actual value of a player to his team" and second, "number of games played." To be sure, then, a first-place vote for Pujols is not a ballot miscast. But the Cardinals are a fourth-place team in the Central Division.

And if the Dodgers were in the Central Division? They'd be?a fourth place team. Even with Manny.

Now, Ramirez's "actual value" far exceeds "number of games played." The Dodgers were 54-54 the day he arrived, but seemed worse off than that?Then came Manny, who made everybody forget that vast fortunes had been spent on (Andruw) Jones and Jason Schmidt. The Dodgers were hitting .256 that day. According to Stats Inc., they've been hitting .285 ever since. As of Friday morning, they are 80-73, in sole possession of first place, and a lock for the playoffs.

As of Tuesday they were 81-75, meaning that since Manny was acquired, they have gone 27-21, a decent stretch, but they aren't exactly leaving a trail of scorched earth behind them as they climb the standings.

As for the prospective MVP himself, he's batting .400 with 44 RBIs in as many games. He has six game-winning hits. His slugging percentage is .738. His on-base percentage is .485. Even when he has a bad day, as he did Thursday, he walks a couple of times.

Ramirez was acquired on 7/31. Since that glorious day in which the sky opened and God sent his dreadlocked baseball savant to LA, Manny's stats look like this:

.399/493/.751 16 HR, 49 RBI, 33 BB, 33 Runs 173 AB

Meanwhile, the guy who has been carrying the Cardinals for the better part of the decade was doing his all to drag a marginally talented team into the thick of the Wild Card race. His line from 7/31 on:

.337/.429/.669 13 HR, 41 RBI, 27 BB, 29 runs 169 AB

Slight advantage goes to Manny across the board. Not surprising since he's been white hot since he forced his way out of Boston by essentially being a dickhead. But here's how they both fared before the trade:

Pujols - .355/.464/.615 21 HR, 65 RBI, 70 BB, 86 Runs
Manny ? he played in the freaking American League

Basically what we're saying is ? why would you vote for a player whose been hot for two months, when his counterpart has been hot the entire season? Unless he was working Joe Torre's bunch like a ventriloquist from 3,000 miles away for the first four months, it's only possible for Manny to have had an impact on 33% of the games played by the Dodgers this season. Pujols has played in 91% of the Cardinals games.

As of Tuesday, the two teams had records separated by one game.

Albert Pujols is not the reason the Cardinals are going to miss the postseason. Albert Pujols is the reason the Cardinals ever had a chance at the postseason to begin with. He is the MVP?again.

Finally, there's this: Dodger home attendance has gone from an average of 44,577 to 48,494, a 9 percent increase since Ramirez arrived.

Well, Mark, you should have led off your argument with this stat. Had we known that the goal was to motivate Los Angelesians to come to the ole' ballpark we would have conceded right away.

At least we aren't alone in our contention that Pujols deserves the award. From Jonah Keri of ESPN.com?

Pujols leads the majors in a slew of categories, from slugging average and OPS to more advanced stats like Value Over Replacement Player and Runs Created. He's one of the best baserunners and defenders in the league at his position. There is no good statistical argument that could possibly favor any other player in the league as more valuable this season.

Cyber fist bump, Jonah.
Steve Tasker is like Rick Reilly with a microphone

CBS analyst Steve Tasker sat alongside Gus Johnson Sunday in Atlanta for the Falcons and Chiefs game. During Michael Turner's touchdown barrage, he proved he might be a fan of the WorldWide Leader's top producer of similies.

Michael Turner is ...

"... like a bowling ball with spikes."

"... like a bowling ball going down a set of steps."

"... all elbows and all knees."

"You'll belly-laugh"

Okay, so the last one wasn't a literary device at all, but the terms "belly-laugh" to describe the experience of watching "Worst Week" makes us laugh. All told, we enjoyed our Steve Tasker/Gus Johnson experience. If we get stuck watching another crappy game on CBS, they'll make it bearable.

Bob Carpenter Memorial Snappy Line

Gus Johnson knows a good snapper. He's got the intensity, the wit and he's got the volume level to sell it. God does he have the volume. And being a TV guy, he shares Bob's passion for taking a visual and making sure the listener will never forget it. When Ozzie Smith made a diving catch back in the 80's, you better believe the old Carpster was there with a "Yellowbrick Road" snapper. When Gus Johnson saw Falcons wide receiver Roddy White do a backflip in the endzone after a TD catch, he was taking advantage...

"They're flipping out over (Matt Ryan), in Atlanta."

If only Ozzie would have done backflips.

Introducing Andre Ethier: The New Face of the Dodgers

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 19:58:42 -0500

After getting called up to the big leagues in 2005, Andre Ethier was immediately traded from the Oakland Athletics to the Los Angles Dodgers, in exchange for Milton Bradley and Antonio Perez. Though the Dodgers gave up a formidable talent in Bradley, they saw something special in the minor-league right fielder. Simply stated, it was potential. When new general manager Ned Colletti was given the reins in 2005, he focused on creating a starting lineup that depended on its youngsters. Since then, he's been brutally criticized for signing former stars to bulky contracts that have failed to pan out. However, he should be credited for completing what he set out to do way back in 2005. By dipping into his farm system instead of his check book, Colletti has made Russell Martin, Matt Kemp, James Loney, and Andre Ethier into everyday players. At times, it's tough to be a Dodger fan. Besides the Yankees, the Dodgers make more transactions involving blue chip players than any other organization. Their starting lineup one day may be completely different the next, as a smorgasbord of future hall-of-famers and one-time greats jump in and out of the lineup. Colletti has taken huge risks in spending enormous sums on big-name players. Manny Ramirez is proving to be his first untainted success after the unfruitful acquisitions of Andruw Jones, Rafael Furcal, Nomar Garciaparra, Juan Pierre, Jason Schmidt, and Brad Penny. Colletti is paying each of these guys at least $5 million a year and is hearing about it every day. (Read the rest after the jump.)

The Tragedy Of Jason Schmidt Continues

Mon, 08 Sep 2008 22:44:12 -0500

So not only is he not going to be back this season, but he needs shoulder surgery again.

"Jason Schmidt will have arthroscopic surgery on his right shoulder on Wednesday to clean up scar tissue that was preventing him from getting over the top enough in his delivery and also to repair 'arthritic changes in the AC joint'. He will begin rehabbing several days after the surgery and resume throwing within six weeks. More importantly, he is expected to be ready by the start of spring training, which already puts him ahead of where he was at this point a year ago."

It's apparently "minor shoulder surgery", but is there really such a thing as "minor shoulder surgery"? I understand the difference between cleaning up scar tissue and reconstruction, but either way, it's not a minor issue.

They say he'll be ready for next year's Spring Training, but like with Furcal's injury this year, i'll believe it when I see it. Truth be told, I wouldn't be surprised if we've already seen the last of Jason Schmidt in a major league uniform.

The Tragedy Of Jason Schmidt Continues

Mon, 08 Sep 2008 22:44:12 -0500

So not only is he not going to be back this season, but he needs shoulder surgery again.

"Jason Schmidt will have arthroscopic surgery on his right shoulder on Wednesday to clean up scar tissue that was preventing him from getting over the top enough in his delivery and also to repair 'arthritic changes in the AC joint'. He will begin rehabbing several days after the surgery and resume throwing within six weeks. More importantly, he is expected to be ready by the start of spring training, which already puts him ahead of where he was at this point a year ago."

Free Agent Pitching is Bad! Believe it!

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 09:18:41 -0500

For the Orioles, the equations are simple: Mark Teixeira + Orioles = Good Big time free agent pitching + Orioles = Disaster

Injury Concerns

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 18:53:49 -0500

The calendar is about to flip to September, which means the arrival of football and the winding down of the fantasy baseball season. With precious little time to make up ground in categories (in roto leagues) or to reach the playoffs (in head-to-head leagues) some drastic measures need to be taken. Since trades are no longer an option, the waiver wire is the only place to turn to for help.

The Media Circus

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 01:40:20 -0500

For over 20 years, Dick Stockton has been one of the primary play-by-play men for NBA and NFL action on CBS and Fox. He's done some baseball in his career, with his most notable accomplishment coming in Game 6 of the 1975 World Series for his call of Carlton Fisk's home run.

With Joe Buck's lighter workload on Fox Saturday baseballe, Stockton occasionally pops up as broadcaster for the secondary Fox Saturday games of the week. Let's just say it might be wise to avoid calling Stockton in from the announcer bullpen in the future (same goes for you, playoffs on TBS).

Paired with Leo Mazzone for the Cardinals and Braves this past Saturday in St. Louis, Stockton referred to All Star Ryan Ludwick as "Aaron Ludwick", originally called Albert Pujols' homer that barely inched over the wall in centerfield an upperdeck shot, claimed the Cardinals retired the side with only two outs and mentioned that Cards rookie reliever Kyle McCellan jumped from AA Springfield straight to the big club out of Spring Training. Nothing wrong with that factual nugget with the exception that Stockton said the Cardinals double-A team was located in Springfield, Texas as opposed to Missouri. We looked it up and found that there is, in fact, a Springfield, Texas located in Jim Wells County.

Springfield is at Farm Roads 625 and 3087, about three miles southeast of San Diego and seven miles northwest of Alice in west central Jim Wells County. The community was established when the Texas-Mexican Railway built across the county in the early 1880s. A post office was established at Springfield in 1909, and in 1910 the community's population was estimated at about 100, though by 1914 the number of residents had decreased to eight. The post office closed in 1918. A county highway map made in the 1930s showed Springfield with a school and scattered dwellings. During the late 1980s it was a dispersed rural community.

Those scattered dwellings, though no longer standing, would have made for awesome baseball training facilities.

To be fair to Stockton, he attempted to redeem himself with a snappy line about Cardinals third baseman Troy Glaus making "a glossy play", but that line was beaten to death a few weeks ago. Not even a good snapper was enough to get back in our graces. Safe to say it's best if Stockton keeps his inaccurate name-calling to football and basketball.

And yes, as the picture indicates, we still think Stockton fits the mold of drunk high school English teacher quite well.

Crap that actually came from somebody's mouth

"It's not that, it's the little things (that get a team a win)." - Steve Phillips, on Braden Looper's sacrifice bunt being more important than Albert Pujols' homer

If we didn't know any better, we'd assume Joe Morgan jumped into Steve Phillips' body.
___

"These guys are athletes. You create ways to win when you're athletic." - Mark Grace

Whichever team lands Alicia Sacramone when free agency hits this winter will likely open up a pinata of created-victories.
___

"Milwaukee has a much easier schedule than the Cardinals do, but sometimes, you'd rather play a winning club or somebody who has something at stake like you do than to play the weaker ones." - Al Hrabosky

Makes perfect sense. Why would you want to play a team that's been crappy all season when you could try to gain those all-important victories over teams that have been good all season?

The Beat Writer Who Hit it Big

If there's one type of General Manager that is likely going to get gushing reviews from the mainstream media regardless of results, it's one who used to be a part of it. Perhaps that explains a little of the irrational love for Dodgers GM Ned Colletti who has been responsible for a healthy dose of moronic moves from his post the last few seasons.

He has long been a favorite of Bill Plaschke and now MLB.com's Hal Bodley is ignoring Colletti's path of destruction and instead looking at a fellow beat writer who made it big and beaming like a proud father.

"When I first met Ned Colletti in 1980, he was covering the Flyers for the Philadelphia Journal, a colorful newspaper that had a short life?I mention this background because, even back then, Colletti seemed more absorbed by baseball than the sport that was his beat. That he is now the respected general manager of the Los Angeles Dodgers shouldn't come as a surprise."

Not surprising at all, hockey beat writers from failed Philadelphia newspapers go on to become GM's of Major League Baseball franchises all the time.

"Colletti has seemingly been at his best this summer, wheeling and dealing in an attempt to fill in the gaps in a battle with Arizona for the National League West crown. He energized the clubhouse, landing third baseman Casey Blake from Cleveland and pulled off a blockbuster three-team deal for Boston's disgruntled future Hall of Famer Manny Ramirez."

Manny is off to a roaring start in LA, but everyone wants to assume that the Dodgers have been on fire since he invaded the clubhouse. In reality, since the trade, the team has gone 11-12 and has actually lost ground in the NL West. Dreadlocks are cool and all, but they don't necessarily mean the team is performing any better.

Oh, I almost forgot one of Colletti's most important coups -- landing another future Hall of Famer during the offseason: manager Joe Torre.

Amongst the "coups" that Bodley fails to mention are the 2-year $32 million deal for Andruw Jones this offseason, the 3-year $47 million contract he gave to Jason Schmidt and, if those two weren't bad enough, he was also the author of what is widely regarded as one of the worst free agent signing of the past few years when he inked slap singles hitter Juan Pierre to a $44 million deal over 5 years.

With all that dead weight on the roster, convincing Joe Torre aboard probably was a coup.

Finishing ahead of the multi-talented Diamondbacks will be no easy task. They have excellent pitching and a maturing lineup that has quickly learned how to win under pressure. One thing is for certain: If it's in Ned Colletti's power to make a move that will help the Dodgers he won't sit on his hands. That's just not his style.

If only there were any horrible overpriced free agents still left to pluck, Mr. Colletti would have enough magic to get his team over .500. The other beat writers will be so proud.

Anyone Else Want to Register an Opinion on Instant Replay?

Safe to say that the stable of MLB.com writers had their marching orders when word was announced of the league's decision to proceed with instant replay. Their job ? stick a mic in someone's face and see how many articles can be squeezed out of the topic in under 24 hours?

Gonzalez supportive of instant replay
Reds react to use of instant replay
Nationals happy about instant replay
Teahan undecided on instant replay
Piniella not that sweet on instant replay
Other sports embrace instant replay
Yankees back instant replay on homers
Wedge not a fan of instant replay

At least they made it easy for the headline writers.

Bob Carpenter Memorial Snappy Line

We've documented at length Bobby's penchant for celebrating cultural diversity, especially when a snappy line is involved. Veteran snapster John Buccigross knows this and sought to sprinkle his finishing-move catchphrase with the appropriate dose of cultural know-how.

"Winner, winner: chicken dinner?" Not today, my friends. Not when Hawaii wins the Little League World Series.

"Winner, winner: mahi mahi dinner."

It's a unanimous thumbs up and wink from the Bobber. In fact, Robert C is so happy he's probably going to head to the fish market and celebrate with a Hawaiian feast, which means plenty of Don Ho blaring in the Carpenter household.

The Media Circus is written by Josh Bacott and Patrick Imig. They swear this stuff is real. Email them at info@joesportsfan.com

Dodgers Slowly Getting Healthy; Not Much Help Coming From Minors

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 19:44:00 -0500

Many of the Dodgers' injured are due back after the rosters expand in September.

"But Torre also knows he cannot count on having hurlers such as Takashi Saito, Brad Penny, Jason Schmidt and Scott Proctor returning in September.

The one injured pitcher who figures to be back soon is Cory Wade, who came out of a bullpen session Saturday feeling good after being out since Aug. 8 with right shoulder inflammation.

Proctor (right elbow tendinitis) and Schmidt (shoulder surgery) will also make rehab appearances this week. Proctor will throw an inning on Monday and Schmidt on Tuesday, both likely for Triple-A Las Vegas, Torre said.

Penny (right shoulder inflammation) will lightly toss on Sunday, which will be the first time he has thrown a baseball since a six-run, three-inning start on Aug. 13, his second outing since spending almost two months on the DL.

As for Saito (torn right elbow ligament), he will join the club in Arizona next week and throw off a mound for the first time since walking off the hill at Dodger Stadium on July 12.

Outfielder Andruw Jones (left knee patellar tendinitis) is continuing to take batting practice and participate in drills, but he likely will not return to Las Vegas' lineup for another few days.

Outfielder Delwyn Young (right oblique strain) went 0-for-14 in his first five rehab games for Las Vegas, but busted out with a 3-for-5 performance with two doubles, a triple and three runs scored on Friday."

Unfortunately, it doesn't look like much help is coming from the minors.

"With apparently none of the Dodgers' minor-league affiliates looking like they'll be playoff bound, the team's September callups should start arriving on Sept. 2, the second day of the upcoming homestand. It looks like A.J. Ellis will be coming up from Vegas to be the third catcher. He is hitting .309 this year, so he'll edge out Lucas May, who is hitting .228 at Jacksonville, even though May is on the 40-man roster and Ellis isn't. Although I have long been under the impression that James McDonald was a lock for a callup, that apparently is still being discussed and is far from assured. But it looks like Ellis will be the only guy not presently on the roster who will be called up. Dodgers don't have a lot of flexibility. The 40-man is full, and there aren't a lot of guys on it whom you can look at and say, 'He's expendable.'"

The fact that so many guys are alledgedly due to return is a positive, especially the pitchers. Saito, Wade, Proctor, and Penny could really help an extremely tired bullpen. However, it's somewhat sad that the Dodgers aren't expected to take a chance on any of the young players in the minors.

Jason Schmidt Is Probably Done For The Year

Fri, 08 Aug 2008 06:50:05 -0500

Tony Jackson reports that even Joe Torre is not optimistic about Jason Schmidt's chances for a 2008 return. "Said this morning, before the game, that Schmidt is probably done for 2008. 'Yes, for this year,' Torre said. 'At this juncture, a lot would have to happen in a hurry for him to be able to pitch for us at this level. He would have to start throwing bullpens (now), and then his rehab probably would take him through the second week of September at this point. I think it...

BIG BEN IS FORTUNATE

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 17:04:32 -0500

SI.com just released their "Fortunate 50" list, which ranks the top 50-earning US athletes, including salary and endorsements. Not surprisingly, Tiger Woods came in a #1 with nearly $128 million. Somewhat surprisingly, Phil Mickelson was second with over $62 million. And just a little further down the list at #15 is a name you're also familiar with: Ben Roethlisberger.

According to SI, Large Benjamin is taking home $25,200,000: $22.7 million in salary and $2.5 million in endorsements. Says SI:

It's the gift that keeps on giving. Big Ben rakes in $20.2 million of his $25.2 million signing bonus during calendar-year '08; the rest is due next season, plus a $3 million roster bonus.

At this rate, he might outbid Stanley Druckenmiller for ownership of the team in a few years (by the way...have you seen his [Druckenmiller's] house?)

Other list members with Pittsburgh connections: former Pitt Panther Larry Fitzgerald checks in at #35 ($17.35 million), so I'm sure he can expect to hear from the alumni department soon. And former Pirate Jason Schmidt ranks #41 with $16.25 million, worth every penny for that 6.31 ERA and six starts in 2007.

Fortunate 50 [SI.com]

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The Worst Team Money Can Buy

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 12:49:26 -0500

As we approach the mid-point of the 2008 season, much has been made of the success of small market teams like the Rays and Marlins. Heck, even the Pirates have scraped their way towards mediocrity. While these teams' successes are usually attributed to the talented, young players they have, I think it also has something to do with the expensive, old players they don't have. Here is the worst team money can buy, and no, it's not the Mets roster...

Passan's All-overpaid and All-underpaid Teams

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 17:24:33 -0500

By Jeff Passan, Yahoo! Sports Take a bow, Carl Pavano. Just don't hurt your back. You, sir, are the kind of baseball player that makes the annual All-Overpaid team possible. Since you signed with the New York Yankees four years ago for $39.95 million – remember, you fired your agent because he didn't get you $40 million! – you have made 19 starts, won five games and earned $359,282.51 for every inning you pitched. The Yankees expect you back in August. Yeah, just like they expect $1 gas. Sadly, your contract expires this offseason, which means another lucky soul can be recognized for being grossly overpaid, even by baseball standards. In the interest of fairness, we'll take another shot at the All-Underpaid team, too. The same caveat applies this year as did last: no players who have yet to hit arbitration. Baseball rules artificially depress their salary, and the credit due to teams for signing them doesn't apply. So that means no Josh Hamilton, even though, at $396,830, he is probably baseball's biggest bargain. No Carlos Quentin ($400,000), Ryan Ludwick ($411,000), Nate McLouth ($425,000), Edinson Volquez ($382,000) or Tim Lincecum ($405,000), either.