When Teammates Attack

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 08:59:46 -0500

Some see it as a glaring sign that the chemistry in the clubhouse is toxic, others write it off to testosterone-infused meatheads blowing off steam. However you rationalize a fight between teammates, the one constant is that they're normally fun to watch.

We got to witness that first hand again this week when Prince Fielder went after pitcher Manny Parra in the Milwaukee Brewers dugout (we told you not to dip into Prince's can of Pringles Cheez-Ums without permission, Manny). A couple of shoves, a semi-slap to the face in full view of the cameras and suddenly we've got national news.

The Parra-Fielder tussle came just days after Carolina wide receiver Steve Smith took the teammate brawl a step further and broke the nose of Panther safety Ken Lucas in the training camp fight that will ultimately cost Smith a two game suspension and a hefty fine.

Because of the mystery and inevitable gossip that comes with them, teammate-on-teammate fights are a shade more intriguing than the run-of-the-mill sports brawl between opponents. In December of 2006, we separated those fights into convenient categories to better understand them and in light of recent events, it would only seem appropriate to do the same for the brawls between friends.

The "Not on the Same Page" Brawl
For all the talk in baseball about the importance of a pitcher and a catcher being "on the same page", perhaps nothing drives home that point more than seeing what happens when they aren't. Being on different pages often means fists aimed at heads.

Recent examples of pitchers and catchers not seeing eye-to-eye include beastly Royals hurler Runelvys Hernandez attacking catcher John Buck in the dugout in between innings in 2006, Rays battery Dioner Navarro and Matt Garza going at it this summer and a scrap between Texas catcher Rod Barajas and pitcher Ryan Drese in 2005 in which the combatants dusted themselves off and went back to their respective positions the next inning to put up a zero. Professionalism at its finest.

Perhaps most memorable was last July when Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano went after Michael Barrett in the dugout after the two came off the field. One can't really blame Barrett for the run-in because quite frankly, how can you possibly get on the same page as a pitcher who spends most of his time screaming to himself in another language? There's at least a 5% chance that the mythical creature that Zambrano talks to every time he leaves the mound told him Barrett was a Martian trying to take over the minds of his Cubs teammates. Maybe even 10%.

The "I Hope They Beat the Hell out of Each Other" Fight
Imagine being a teammate in the Giants locker room through the majority of the last decade. On one side, you've got well-documented jackass Barry Bonds chilling on his leather recliner watching his personal TV - a TV that has been given roughly the same amount of dedicated square footage in the clubhouse as your entire locker.

On the other side, you've got hillbilly second basemen Jeff Kent who may be the only player in baseball whose reputation as a jerk is comparable to Bonds. In any given season, they are battling for the 1-2 spots on the "teammates I pray I don't have to sit next to on the team flight" list. Suddenly in a moment of glory, these two go after each other in the dugout and are ready to come to blows. If it weren't for the TV cameras zooming in on the brawl, most Giants players probably would have preferred to let them beat the living shit out of each other just in the off chance that they trade broken jaws and couldn't talk anymore.

A similar incident took place in the visitor's clubhouse of Shea Stadium in 1978 when Dodgers pretty boy Steve Garvey and permed-out pitcher Don Sutton went at it after a confrontation centered on Sutton's quotes about Garvey to the media. According to legend, their popularity amongst teammates was such that when someone yelled out "stop the fight, they'll kill each other", the response from one team member was "good."

Of course, both the 2002 Giants and the 1978 Dodgers went to the World Series, so don't be surprised if some enterprising manager sets up sanctioned cage matches amongst team members to see if it sparks a winning streak.

The Rasta Brawl
Just picture your standard teammate fight, only in addition to fists flying there is also massive amounts of hair. Dreadlocks to be exact. One might assume that it would be impossible to inflict pain through 14 solid inches of nappy hair, much like hitting someone wearing a football helmet, but it turns out that the 'do opens up a whole new element of physical damage.

In the case of the Etan Thomas and Brendan Haywood fight in 2006 when both were members of the Washington Wizards, Haywood somehow managed to rip out two full dreadlocks from Thomas' skull.

Not being terribly familiar with the anatomy of a dreadlock, I wasn't aware that they could be yanked out of ones head like a carrot being pulled out of the dirt. If Haywood was to fully capitalize on his maneuver he could have started swinging those puppies around like a pair of bullwhips. Nothing stings worse than being whipped with your own dreads.

The "Roids Don't Care What Team you Play For" Cheap Shot
When you presumably have more steroids coursing through your veins than a Barry Bonds - Mark McGwire love child, things like determining whether a guy plays on the same team as you are to be considered trivial. The roids don't care what team they play for, bro. When your friends Winstrol and Dianabol say that you're supposed to be a meathead gorilla, then that's what you do and too bad to whoever happens to be at the other end.

NFL linebacker Bill Romanowski was the quintessential meathead gorilla and teammate Marcus Williams was the person who happened to be close by one 2003 Oakland Raiders scrimmage. Romanowski effectively ended Williams' career when he crushed his eye socket with one punch.

Rather than simply chalking up the incident as an unfortunate run-in with an over-medicated primate, Williams decided to exact his revenge in the courtroom, suing Romo for $3.5 million and eventually being awarded $340,000 in damages.

Probably should be able to get a pretty sweet new eye socket with that kind of coin.

The Innocent Victim Scenario
Unless we're talking about a hockey fight where everyone just lets the guys beat the crap out of each other, inevitably a teammate brawl has to be broken up by someone. Normally a third teammate or a coach has to throw himself in between two enraged maniacs so that no one gets hurt. It's not a pleasant spot to be in.

Take the Brewers incident, would you want to be the person forced to step in between 300-pound Prince Fielder and whatever it is that he wants to get his hands on? Even if he innocently trips and falls on you, that girth would likely do damage to multiple internal organs.

Look at Ray Fosse. In 1974, Reggie Jackson got into a clubhouse scuffle with fellow Oakland Athletic outfielder Bill North. The peacekeeper on the scene happened to be Fosse who was rewarded for his actions with a crushed disk in his neck that landed him on the DL for 12 weeks.

Of course four years earlier Ray Fosse was run over by Pete Rose in the All Star Game separating his shoulder in the process. That has nothing to do with teammates fighting but, man, it kind of sucked to be Ray Fosse for a while there.

The Blatant Disregard for Authority
In the current atmosphere of sports, the balance of power between coaches and players has been blurred. Players make far more money, are more indispensable and most are not shy about how to use their newfound leverage. Some do it with contract negotiations or holdouts. Some do it by beating the hell out of their superiors. Either way works.

Of course a player getting physical with a coach isn't exactly a new thing. Reggie Jackson was famous for his showdown with Yankees manager Billy Martin in the late 70's; Nasty Boy Rob Dibble scrapped with manager Lou Piniella in the Cincinnati Reds locker room after a 1993 game. In 1977, Texas Rangers infielder Lenny Randle jumped manager Frank Lucchesi on the field before the game, clocking him in the face and landing several shots before being dragged off by teammates. Lucchesi suffered a broken cheekbone, two cracked ribs and a concussion in the fracas. Randle eventually suffered a trade to the Mets where he had to play in Shea Stadium. Not sure which is worse.

But just this season former Astros pitcher Shawn Chacon took management assault to another level when he choked out GM Ed Wade in the team dining room, proving once and for all that it is not smart for a front office executive to get between a player and his free buffet.

Coaches Versus?Coaches
Probably the only thing more bizarre than watching two players on the same team engage in some fisticuffs is watching two coaches on the same team go after each other.

Coaches are supposed to be the cool-headed ones, who are constantly preaching team unity and giving away game balls and crap. They're like a fraternity whose primary shared trait is that they all have the unenviable task of dealing with professional athletes all day. They're not supposed to be the ones throwing haymakers at one another on the sidelines.

The most notable of the coach-on-coach battles revolve around one small, balding old football "genius" ? Buddy Ryan. In 1985 there were rumors of his run-in with Bears head coach Mike Ditka while Ryan was serving as the coordinator of one of the most dynamic defenses of all time. According to lore, punches weren't thrown, but Ditka cordially invited Ryan out to the back alley when Ryan refused to heed the coach's halftime request during their only loss of the '85 season.

Of course, Buddy did manage to goad one fellow coach into a more physical confrontation while he was on the staff of the 1993 Houston Oilers. In a classic offense vs. defense battle, Ryan took a swing at offensive coordinator Kevin Gilbride on the sidelines in their regular season-ending game versus the Jets.

For a guy who looked more like the founder of Wendy's than a hard-nosed football coach, Ryan sure did fancy himself a badass.
Whether it's coaches on coaches, players attacking coaches, players attacking players or someone is getting their dreads ripped out, teammate fights never cease to entertain.

So long as it isn't your team doing the brawling.

Bonus ? ESPN did a Top 10 teammate fights list found here. Some quality ones in there, including a soccer fight taking place on the field during the game. Freaking British people.

Feldman Betrayed As Oakland Snaps Rangers' Winning Streak

Mon, 05 May 2008 14:57:18 -0500

The Texas Rangers waste a brilliant performance from sinkerballer Scott Feldman, falling 3-1 in Oakland and snapping a season-high four-game winning streak.

Rangers Notebook: Spring Fever

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 16:25:16 -0500

Spring fever reaches its apex in Arlington for Tuesday afternoon's Texas Rangers home opener against the Baltimore Orioles.

Drese sinks Braves vs. Tribe

Sat, 22 Mar 2008 18:58:04 -0500

Friday the Braves fell to the Indians mostly due to the brilliant work of supplementary pitcher Ryan Drese, who threw 17 straight balls at one point, walking in a run apparently just for fun. He ruined an otherwise bright day from the Braves' pitching staff.

Braves' Roster Cuts, Javy Lopez Retires

Sat, 22 Mar 2008 18:12:24 -0500

The Braves announced their second round of cuts from their Spring Training roster today, including prospects Jordan Schafer and Brandon Jones, as well as pitchers Jo-Jo Reyes and Ryan Drese. Most notably, Javy Lopez was cut from the roster and he announced his retirement, ending his bid for an Atlanta comeback.

The Nationals Look to 2007...by Dropping 2006 Dead Weight

Wed, 04 Oct 2006 18:27:49 -0500

Within three days of the season ending, the Nationals have dumped their manager and seven players: Ryan Drese, Brian Lawrence, Joey Eischen, Pedro Astacio, Zach Day, and Felix Rodriguez. They probably won't miss any of the above, but who are planning on bringing in? GM Jim Bowden says the team won't be a player in the free agent market, the organization could lower payroll, and they might not be able to retain the services of one Alfonso Soriano. Nationals Blog "Capital Punishment" lists a number of reasons to be concerned heading into the offseason.

Yardbarker: Ryan Drese

When Teammates Attack

Feldman Betrayed As Oakland Snaps Rangers' Winning Streak

Rangers Notebook: Spring Fever

Drese sinks Braves vs. Tribe

Braves' Roster Cuts, Javy Lopez Retires

The Nationals Look to 2007...by Dropping 2006 Dead Weight