Yardbarker: Texas Rangers

Sammy Sosa Should Be Ashamed

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 10:11:39 -0500

According to sources, former MLB Sammy Sosa is undergoing a “skin rejuvenation” process that has temporarily lightened his flesh to a pasty, pallid gray tone, not unlike a ten-month old corpse that washed up in central Jersey. Also, these same sources indicate that Sosa’s sudden pigment shift was enhanced by overactive flash photography. But in reality, one of two things are happening here: 1) Sammy Sosa’s use of steroids led to a case of vitiligo, a chronic skin depigmentation disorder that Michael Jackson used as an excuse for his inherent weirdness and lack of identity within the African-American community. 2) Sammy Sosa is purposely lightening his skin, separating himself from his culture and identity. Far be it from me to judge anyone for plastic surgery....

SAMMY SOSA’S GHOULISH LOOK AT LATIN GRAMMYS

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 09:25:47 -0500

Sammy Sosa has a new look and it’s not a good one. If you didn’t watch the Latin Grammys this weekend (loser!), then you might not know what I’m talking about. The former Rangers, Cubs, and Orioles slugger showed up to the awards show looking different [...]

Sammy Sosa Becomes Vampire, Still Can’t Hit Outside Pitch

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 08:20:27 -0500

As many of you have seen and heard, Sammy Sosa showed up at the Latin Grammys Person of the Year event recently looking a little different. The Dominican Dracula, as I am now calling him, claims has had some sort of treatment on his skin that makes it look lighter than before: “He is going through [...]

Sammy Sosa Would Like To Clear Up Some Things About His Skin

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 17:45:00 -0500

Sammy Sosa is not hoping to star in the White Chicks sequel. It is not some kind of alleged side affect from any alleged substances he allegedly may have put in his body. He just wants to be beautiful! Because Chicago's baseball writers haven't had anything to write about for three months now, this has become the story in the Second City. The Tribune went to one of Sosa's friends, who gave a perfectly reasonable answer for why he Slammin' Sammy had an MJ look going the other ...

Say it aint Sosa.

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 15:47:43 -0500

Dude, WTF??? Looks like 8+ years of steroid abuse has taken its toll. Of course, Sammy…who always tells the truth…claims he isn’t lightening his skin ala the Dead King of Pop. This is just an effect from a “skin rejuvenation” process. Uh huh. How about the bad skin and blowfishy appearance, dickhead? Let me set the record straight. Even though I’m a Cubs fan, I have always HATED Sammy Sosa. In fact, this very website is dedicated to him. Every word he utters is either a lie or a boast…quite o...

Texas Pitchers' Rate Lines and Hitter Counterparts

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 10:31:32 -0500

Once again, I've turned every Texas pitcher’s performance into a comparable batter. Below are the opposing batting lines and percentages of homers, walks and strikeouts for every Ranger pitcher who pitched at least 10 innings. The three hitters who most closely match that line are listed to the right. Just in case you're curious, I determined comparability by calculating differences in average, on-base percentage, slugging, homer rate, walk rate, and strikeout rate between each ...

Sammy Sosa’s Skin

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 09:37:44 -0500

Sammy Sosa is undergoing skin rejuvenation, and that combined with the lighting of the famous photograph made his skin look very light. Polihronis, the former Cubs Care/Community Relations manager for the team, said Sosa told her he has used moisturizing treatment at night on his face. “He has always been concerned with the way he looks,” she [...]

Chicagoans Apparently “Laughing” At Sammy Sosa

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 02:51:05 -0500

Sammy Sosa's stunning new skin color is a story that continues to surprise, and this time the surprise has nothing to do with Sammy's appearance. Rather, it has to do with the reaction that Sosa's new look is getting from those in the city of the Chicago.

Sosa’s skin undergoing noticeable color change

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 23:55:22 -0500

Former Cubs slugger Sammy Sosa, recently photographed during an appearance at Mandalay Bay Resort & Casino in Las Vegas, is drawing attention for his severely lightened complexion.

Pictures of Sammy Sosa’s Light Skin Coloring Change

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 16:01:30 -0500

Much like the case of Roberto Alomar Jr. who was alleged to have HIV, the blog world is now abuzz about the recent pictures of Sammy Sosa that have emerged. Midwest Sports Fan via Sports by Brooks has recent photos of Sosa at an appearance during the week. Let me just say the [...]

What’s Eating Sammy Sosa’s Face?

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 10:41:00 -0500

This photo from SI.com is beginning to make it's rounds on the internet. And just by taking one look at it, you can see why. Despite his face being "lighter" than we're used to, he seems to be taking it better than I'm sure you are. Having that on your arm helps too, I'm guessing. Slammin' Sammy is clearly keeping himself occupied these days. Here he arrives with a rather distinguished guest at a Person of the Year ceremony in honor of Juan Gabriel at Man...

Sammy Sosa’s New Face

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 09:59:18 -0500

This photo was posted on SI.com yesterday; there is no indication that it was in any way doctored. His lady friend’s breasts? That’s another story. We’re punting on the roundup and ballin’ this weekend. If you’re looking for early morning laughs, this should do the trick: Boise State 45, Louisiana Tech 35. The Bulldogs were just [...]

Did Steroids Turn Sammy Sosa Into a White Man?

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 04:52:30 -0500

Did Steroids Turn Sammy Sosa Into a White Man? The pictures at that link above are, well, scary.

Could Sammy Sosa’s Pale Appearance Be the Result of Vitiligo Brought on By Steroid Use?

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 00:54:53 -0500

The obvious question in the immediate aftermath of these pictures making their way around the web is, what might be the root cause of Sammy's paleness? And is there a link between vitiligo and steroid use?

Sammy Sosa Re-emerges As Shiny-Suited Latino Zombie

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 19:09:10 -0500

I have no idea what strange transformation Mr. Sosa is going through, but it's obvious that, yes, something is seriously messed up with Slammin' Sammy's pigmentation. Guesses include botched plastic surgery to vitiligo to "really bad make up" but unless Mr. Sosa was looking for some way to make his eyes more lemur-like, I don't think this was intentional. SI's little blurb gives no clues either: Slammin' Sammy is clearly keeping himself occupied these days. ...

What Is Going On With Sammy Sosa?

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:47:37 -0500

Something is drastically different about Sammy Sosa's appearance, as is evident from pictures taken of him at a recent event. Does anyone know the explanation for this?

2010 ZiPS projections for the Texas Rangers

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 12:54:27 -0500

Dan Szymborski has the ZiPS projections for the Rangers in 2010 up at BTF. ZiPS views this group, as constituted, as around a .500 team, and seems to identify the need for a legit DH.

Thursday morning Rangers things

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 09:22:36 -0500

And so we are done for baseball on the diamond, for the next few months. Congrats to the Yankees. Jeff Wilson writes that Clint Hurdle will be announced as the Rangers' hitting coach today. Wilson says that the announcement was delayed until today because of MLB's request that no significant news be announced during the World Series. And Drew Davison has a Q&A with Kevin Millwood about Millwood's golf game.

Vicente Padilla accidentally shot in hunting accident

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 10:08:58 -0500

Vicente Padilla accidentally shot in hunting accident Per Adam Katz, Padilla's agent, Padilla was accidentally shot in the thigh by his bodyguard when the bodyguard was trying to fix his gun.