ON TO HOUSTON...

At the risk of alienating more readers who I can hear clicking out with any mere mention of the Pirates, the comedic value of the early second half must be acknowledged. Thank you, Awkward Ryan Doumit Picture, for reassuring me that I need to talk some Pirates this morning. The Battlin' Bucs are coming off of a four-game sweep at the hands of the Colorado Rockies in which they were outscored 28-9, a Bronco-esque total with no assistance from John Elway. The Rockies sported a record of 39-57 before the series, proving that the Pirates were just the elixir that the schedule doctors ordered. I guess this is that "weak 2nd half schedule" Pirate fans were talking about a few weeks ago. Usually, I would think John Van Beethoven's presence on the mound in this situation would guarantee the post-All-Star-Game losing streak to five, but check out his opponent tonight: Houston's Runelvys Hernandez. That's an ERA of 9.77 (JVB) and 10.29 (Hernandez) as your starting pitchers in a "Major League" game; it's not exactly Koufax vs. Gibson. There may be more balls leaving the yard tonight than last week's Home Run Derby. And yes, to answer your question, Hernandez was Pirate property as recently as last year. You don't forget when your team acquires a guy named "Runelvys".