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that’s right, smeldrick, your and my favorite “can’t rely on him for jack shit” fantasy receiver, plaxico “plax isuzu” burress is fixing to be charged with gun offenses and to issue a very speedy not guilty plea, according to his mouthpiece, benjamin brafman. h......

Original Story: http://www.flatusyahu.com/2008/12/01/plax-...

it’s bad enough that we suffering fools, aka plaxico burress owners, have lost the services of the great, lanky, surehanded crazy one.A now, it seems, yahoo has decided to assign negative points to a man who was shot through the leg just 36 hours past. as you will see from this screen cap......

Original Story: http://www.flatusyahu.com/2008/11/30/yahoo...

flatusyahu.com presents Maria Sharapova getting a leg rub from another chick. Listen….we’ve given up on the whole chicks-equals-clicks idea.A Frankly, we don’t really give a rats ass about clicks (never have really….which may be why we’re the most schizophrenic web......

Original Story: http://www.flatusyahu.com/2008/11/24/ameri...

Just some cool things from some of our regular contributors.A No, L.J. Smith….you don’t count as a contributor. Artwork by DimaggiosMutantSeed

In the first round of the 2001 NFL draft, Andy drafted Freddie Mitchell.A Reggie Wayne was selected 5 picks later, Todd Heap 6 picks later, Chad Johnson 11 picks later. In second round of the 2002 NFL draft, Andy drafted Quinton Caver.A Pro-Bowl DT Shaun Rogers was selected 6 picks later, Pro-......

Original Story: http://www.flatusyahu.com/2008/11/24/the-e...

Good to see that fired Charger’s defensive coordinator Ted Cottrell has his next gig lined up.A We’re guessing that TV won’t be an option for this recently “downsized” coach.A There’s always radio and this internet thing (that’s what we keep telling our......

Original Story: http://www.flatusyahu.com/2008/10/29/repor...

The demented old man who brought you a tie at the All-Star game, National League baseball in Milwaukee and the idea of contracting the Minnesota Twins has again re-written the rules of baseball.A Deciding that 100 plus years of baseball tradition are no longer applicable, Selig suspended last ni......

Original Story: http://www.flatusyahu.com/2008/10/28/senil...

…..we’re just saying……

…..to remind you that Gina Carano is still out of work and suffering from the devastation caused by the global financial crisis. Keep her in your prayers, people.

Apparently Jack and Diane want to go back to being just two American kids living in the heartland. Deanne Favre is pouncing on those who are picking on her speed-dialing husband, Jets Interception Machine, Brett Fah-vvvv-errr-vvvv-eh. Read this for actual details and reporting and stuff like th......

Original Story: http://www.flatusyahu.com/2008/10/28/world...

Why does he shoot the finger at us?A (radar image courtesy weather.com) Why does he invent a rule that Bob Dupuy pulls out of his hairy asshole? Why does he let the Rays bat in the top of the inning, but not the Phillies in the bottom of the inning? Why does he let Carlos Pena, who we’l......

Original Story: http://www.flatusyahu.com/2008/10/27/why-d...

Yo, Skinny Joey, I Schtupped your Wife. To those horrific seven words, apparently we must add one more: PARADE. C’mon, get over yourselves.A We just searched philly.com (home of the Philadelphia Daily News and Inquirer) and couldn’t find ONE nugget about WHEN (not if, WHEN) the Phi......

Original Story: http://www.flatusyahu.com/2008/10/27/seven...

Hey Now! Long before Ryan Howard went yard (twice)…..long before J-Dub hit his two-run bomb…..and long before Joe “Joe the Farmer” Blanton closed his eyes, swung hard and made World Series history…..the bowels of the Phil’s run-producing machine was still clog......

Original Story: http://www.flatusyahu.com/2008/10/27/enema...

Every man, woman and child knows someone who knows someone who can’t tackle Clinton Portis. (art by Phizzed, exclusively for flatusyahu.com)

we were too busy enjoying KennyBanyasForeskin’s people at the Pennsylvania Rennaissence Faire and didn’t get to see the game…..but how did Eagles Tackle Tra Thomas get credit for throwing a four yard pass?