Kissing Suzy Kolber Raw Feed  

I played in five fantasy football leagues this year; I didn't make the playoffs in any of them. I bought the magazines and everything, did the research, had discussions about certain players with my friends. And now, All my minutes of waiver wire shopping and proposing shitty trades to Rob Iraca......

Original Story: http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/1...

The first time I ever met a Patriots fan was 10 days after my 20th birthday. It was week 1 of the 2002 season, the Steelers and Patriots held the first-ever regular season game in Gillette, a rematch of the previous season's AFC Title Game. Only where I was watching the game, there wasn't one [...]...

Original Story: http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/1...

So what if all three of my Super Bowl titles are tainted? That's three more tainted titles than you've ever won, you fucking piddling career backup. You think you can turn this fanbase against me? Best of luck, kid. I made this fanbase, fashioned it with the sheer force of my rugged handsomenes......

Original Story: http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/1...

Jesus, I threw the green bean casserole in the oven and it was fucking 21-3 Titans already. Could the Lions perhaps rehire Matt Millen so that they can again fire him? Daunte Culpepper played like shit and gave up a house pick, which tends to diminish his argument that the only reason he [...]...

Original Story: http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/1...

PICK HERE if you're competing in the KSK Suicide Superpool and your pick was successful last week. Yeah, this pool is about as well-organized as FEMA, but look on the bright sidea?"YOUR TAX DOLLARS ARE NOT AT WORK HERE. And there's still $100 on the line for the winner. This may go all the way [...]...

Original Story: http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/1...

Many people scoff at the idea that God can control the outcome of sporting events, or that He even cares. But those people are wrong. God does control the games, AND He cares a great deal. Today, He explains why He let the outcomes of Week 12 in the NFL happen as they did. Well, it's [...]...

Original Story: http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/1...

What we've learned so far today: Jeff Fisher should have spent more think working on his defensive game-plan and less time playing paratrooper. Donovan McNabb got benched after two picks and a fumble, providing time for him to brush up on the finer points of the rulebook. Chilly Chill cockbloc......

Original Story: http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/1...

What motivates Steelers fans to humiliate the Bengals faithful even further? Isn't it enough you invade their stadium, abuse the menfolk, fondle the womenfolk and take a dump in their precious Skyline Chili? Now you have to take to the YouTubes ahead of tonight's resumption of the "rivalry" to......

Original Story: http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/1...

Steve Harvey: Welcome back to Amateur Night at the world-famous Apollo theatre! How's everybody doin' tonight? Real good, real good. Our next performer just flew in from Washington, DC, and boy, are his arms tired. Help me give a big Apollo welcome to SENATAH! JOHN! McCAIN! [McCain walks out. Au......

Original Story: http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/1...

Many people scoff at the idea that God can control the outcome of sporting events, or that He even cares. But those people are wrong. God does control the games, AND He cares a great deal. Today, He explains why He let the outcomes of Week 11 in the NFL happen as they did. Hello, my [...]...

Original Story: http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/1...

You fackin' Tennessee faggots have gawt some fackin' narve! Just one yee-ah after my beloved Paytreeuts take they-ah rightful place on footbawl lor-ah by going 16-0, you facks have the bawls to try and go undefeated too! WHO THE FACK DO YOU THINK YOU AHHHH?!! (drinks 56 oz. can of Joose) Like ......

Original Story: http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/1...

It was reported a few days ago that Jim Fassel sent a handwritten letter to Al Davis expressing interest in the Raiders head coaching job. Fassel issued a non-denial on Sirius NFL Radio, which is practically the same thing as an admission. Luckily, KSK's trusty sources have come through yet agai......

Original Story: http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/1...

[The sound of volcanoes exploding in the distance blends with the cawing of exotic birds and the howls of unidentifiable beasts. A few long-haired wild men swing from the trees, dropping into sight only to snag lava rocks just before they hit the ground] Ben Roethlisberger: HI WILDERNESS UNTOUC......

Original Story: http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/1...

It's another one of those trademark KSK mornings where we simply don't have our shit together. But fear not. The drunken writing monkeybot is busy scribbling out new dick joke ideas as we speak. In the meantime, LOOK! Wade Phillips done blowed up on a Taiwan street! He blowed up [...]...

Original Story: http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/1...