LATEST STORIES FROM ARMCHAIR ASSOCIATION
Raiders Wheel Out Decaying Llama Corpse For Press
When Randy Chiseltooth opened the newspaper today, he immediately spotted Daisy. Long since missing, but hardly forgotten, Randy thought Daisy had gone on to that great pasture in the sky. “I always thought is were the aliens took her.” Randy said, as he eased back in his recliner. ”Turnt out she been running them Raiders [...]
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January 19, 2011
The ING Report 2010: Week 8
First of all, let me give a big “**** YOU!” to my web host for exceeding their bandwidth with two weeks left in the month. What the **** is that? Congratulations to whoever blew the **** up in October, but seriously, what the ****? Here’s Week 8′s picks that I never got a chance to [...]
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The ING Report 2010...
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November 03, 2010
The ING Report 2010: Week 6
Prime Cuts (5/15 – 33% accuracy to date) New York Jets (-3.5) Kansas City Chiefs (+4.5) Detroit Lions (+10) Atlanta Falcons (+3.0) Educated Opinions (26/44 – 59% accuracy to date) Cleveland Browns (+14) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (+4.5) Indianapolis Colts (-3.5) Dallas Cowboys (+1.5) Green Bay Packers (-3.5) Oakland Raiders (+7) St. Louis Rams (+9) Baltimore [...]
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October 17, 2010
The ING Report 2010: Week 5
Prime Cuts (2/8 – 25% accuracy to date) Tennessee Titans (+7) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (+7) Houston Texans (-3) Chicago Bears (+3) Educated Opinions (14/22 – 64% accuracy to date) Denver Broncos (+7) Kansas City Chiefs (+7) Philadelphia Eagles (+3.5) Atlanta Falcons (-3) Jacksonville Jaguars (+1) New York Jets (-4) Green Bay Packers (-3) Oakland Raiders [...]
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October 10, 2010
The ING Report 2010: Week 4
Prime Cuts (1/4 – 25% accuracy to date) Atlanta Falcons (-7) Chicago Bears (+4) New York Jets (-6) Cincinnati Bengals (-3) Educated Opinions (8/12 – 67% accuracy to date) Denver Broncos (+7) San Diego Chargers (-8.5) Indianapolis Colts (-8) Philadelphia Eagles (-6) Detroit Lions (+14.5) Carolina Panthers (+14) New England Patriots (-1) Seattle Seahawks (-1) [...]
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October 01, 2010
The ING Report: Week 3
Well, hello ‘dere cheer-dren! So we’ve been off the grid for a few months… And for that, I wholeheartedly apologize to all 6 of you. The problem with having a job is how they have the audacity to expect you to work. Anyways, I’m gonna bring the funny later on. What you’re reading this for [...]
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The...
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September 24, 2010
ArmAss Bites for 2010-05-12
I just wanted to mention, I used to work with Wade McGilberry. He was as unremarkable as you might imagine… http://bit.ly/aofoWf #
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May 12, 2010
Ex-NFL star Lawrence Taylor arrested in New York
Ex-NFL star Lawrence Taylor arrested in NY
Yes, yes… I’m getting bored of writing NFL rape articles, too. I’m trying to work on the 2010 Rotodestroyer, dammit! So, instead of writing, I just made some pretty pictures… Talk to you soon with real football insight!
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Inappropriate Pre-Draft Questions REVEALED...
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May 06, 2010
Inappropriate Pre-Draft Questions REVEALED!
By now you’ve heard about the Miami Dolphin’s GM, Jeff Ireland, asking Dez Bryant if his mother is or was ever a prostitute. This was only a singular instance in a barrage of unflattering, stupid, and insulting questions players had to field. We’ve gotten our hands on the fake transcripts from these interviews and present [...]
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April 29, 2010
Drinkin’ & Draftin’ – 2010 Edition
Here we are again, except now it’s Thursday night. I hope I’m not alone in finding a prime time draft a terrible idea. They think they’re making it where more people can watch it. Well, what they did for me was to make sure I DVRed it so that my kids could watch the new [...]
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Drinkin’ and...
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April 23, 2010
They’re Eating My Ass!
As the winter gives way to spring, and because I need to take a break from reading about the draft before I spend 4 hours tonight doing my annual Drinkin’ & Draftin’ post, I was thinking about tubing. I haven’t been tubing in a really long time. I miss it.
I went to college in the [...]
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April 22, 2010
ArmAss Bites for 2010-04-21
So long, Peter Steele, and thanks for all the Bloody Kisses! Me circa 1996 would be devastated right now…not as much in 2010. #
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April 21, 2010
PED XING
Baseball Prospectus contributor and InjuryExpert tweeter, Will Carroll, tweeted a blurb stating:
Ped suspension incoming.
The internet became instantly awash with speculation as to who this nameless “semi-big” player could be. Slowly, more information came trickling out.
UPDATE: I have learned that the PED suspension is NOT a New York player.
OK, 28 more teams...
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April 20, 2010
The Draft
I am looking forward to the draft, other than the fact that it starts on Thursday. That is just ********. A) It’s during the NHL Playoffs, don’t make me choose and B) I like to get together with people and drink beer and yell at my TV. It’s inevitable. The Packers [...]
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Lions’...
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April 16, 2010
Oh Ben Roethlisberger, You are Gross
I think we have discussed my disdain for Pittsburgh sports and Ben in general in the past and I’ve watched as this whole sexual assault ickiness unfolded but I can remain silent no longer.
I read the police report yesterday and seriously, do yourselves a favor and read the entire thing. It is chock full [...]
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April 16, 2010
Scott Stapp Soars Like A Fish
Well, I don’t know about you, but I didn’t think that Prince’s flaming bag of doodie known as Purple & Gold could be trumped. But, then today…it was.
[There is a video that cannot be displayed in this feed. Visit the blog entry to see the video.]
Scott Stapp’s Marlin flavored Pop-Rock “Marlins Will Soar” was written [...]
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April 15, 2010
ArmAss Bites for 2010-04-14
Just got my tickets to the opening of Hank Aaron's Childhood Home Museum tomorrow….(part 1/2) #
Guests include: Bud Selig, Hank Aaron, Rickey Henderson, Willie Mays, Ozzie Smith, Bruce Sutter, Bob Feller…I feel like I'm 9 years old… #
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April 14, 2010
Ball Talk With Blastman
There’s a guy who has been registered on ArmAss for years as an author. His name is Blastman. He doesn’t write much ever, but quite often he’s hilarious. This will be a new series of Instant Message conversations between he and I, since it’s hard to fit writing posts between irritating me at work and [...]
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April 13, 2010
You Are Hockeytown
Just a quick post to tell you how to get your ten seconds of fame and I’ll soon get back to my usual nonsense.
The Detroit Red Wings are putting together some total awesomeness for their opening video for the playoffs and they need YOU to be a part of it.
GO HERE to submit your video. [...]
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April 08, 2010
I Love Opening Day Baseball!
That’s really all I needed to say on that subject. Well, except the Cubs game yesterday made me weep. That McLouth non-catch was synonymous with Cubs baseball. So, on that note, here’s to happier times with George Brett’s #1 hit from Spring Training 2009, “I **** Myself Last Night”!
[There is a video that cannot be [...]
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April 06, 2010
Jason Heyward Swings For Your Sins!
‘m like everyone else. I love a good hype story. I get excited, I grin like a retard with a milkshake when El Hypo comes to do what he does. But, just like that retard, I get bored of it all so easily, and I’ll turn coat on you with my retard strength. Jason Heyward, [...]
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The Great Racial Divide Amongst Quarterbacks
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March 31, 2010
ArmAss Bites for 2010-03-24
@jennyquarx I can't believe it's #H2H week! Good luck this week! I know you've worked so hard. Time to enjoy yourself! in reply to jennyquarx #
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March 24, 2010
2010 Fantasy Baseball Average ADP
Download the full Excel 2007 version here
Just figured I’d give you a hand…
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2007 Fantasy Football: Everything You Knew Was Wrong…
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March 16, 2010
I Love Twitter
If you’re not following me, you should be. Well, I do talk about hockey a lot but that’s neither here nor there.
Let’s discuss Chad OchoCinco for a moment. First of all, I like him. He entertains me. I don’t necessarily like him on my fantasy team, but as a human, he has [...]
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March 11, 2010
ArmAss Bites for 2010-03-10
@SacksJacked When she starts talking about "dirty, filthy handjobs" and uncircumsized ass *******, you might get some raised eyebrows. in reply to SacksJacked #
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ArmAss Bites for 2010-01-20 I’m about to apply for media access to the...
ArmAss Bites for 2010-01...
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March 10, 2010
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