LATEST STORIES FROM CAN'T STOP THE BLEEDING
Can Our Society Survive Albert Pujols’ Galling Lack Of Accountability?
Cardinals 1B Albert Pujols’ mishandling of a relay throw by John Jay in the 9th inning of last night’s World Series Game Two allowed Texas’ Elvis Andrus to take second base after his single moved Ian Kinsler to third. A pair of sacrifice flies later, Texas had taken a 2-1 lead and hung on in the home 9th for a series-tying victory, circumstances Pujols wasn’...
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October 21, 2011
Discuss
For Heaven’s Sake, Don’t Let Captain Johnny ***** Read This
How might former Mets reliever/captain Johnny B. Badd react to WEEI.com’s Rob Bradford claiming, “there should be no captains in baseball” following Jason Varitek’s inability to strike fear in the hearts of his chicken-chomping, beer-swilling Red Sox teammates? I don’t know for sure, but I’d hate to see a writer as talented as Bradford end up...
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October 20, 2011
Rex Vs. Norv : Let He Who Has Never Won A Super Bowl Cast The First Stone (And The Second, Too)
At the risk of echoing the anti-intellectual blatherings of Lee “Hacksaw” Hamilton, who insists real fans who aren’t total ******* have to “choose sides” in this debate, I’m not sure there’s any appropriate comeback for San Diego’s sad sack head coach Norv Turner (above) besides the time tested, “well, everyone’s got a right...
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October 20, 2011
Chuck Knoblauch Resists The Urge To Market An “I MAIMED OLBERMANN’S MOM” T-Shirt
The Official Chuck Knoblauch Online Store is up and running ladies and gentlemen, and if the tee on the right isn’t classy enough for you, perhaps one as nonsensical and bound to confuse as the shirt on the left might appeal. It would be interest — just for purely anthropological purposes — to meet the only person on earth who found something funny or provocative...
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October 19, 2011
Plenderleith’s Bold Plan : A Tax On Emulating Soccer’s Leading Lights
(above : Wayne Rooney, moments after learning he cannot possibly collect royalties from the touring company of “Stomp”)
“These lads’ careers will probably be over by the time they’re 35,” writes When Saturday Comes’ Ian Plenderleith of the EPL’s work force. “It’s obvious that the game’s commercial potential is nowhere close to being...
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October 19, 2011
Buck, McCarver : As Unbiased As They’re Unlistenable
Given the close St. Louis ties of Fox’s Joe Buck and Tim McCarver, the 2011 World Series will have “the bias conspirators will be out in full force,” writes The Allentown Morning-Call’s Keith Groller. I’m presuming by “conspirators”, Groller means “critics”. Unless he’s actually referring to the broadcasting duo.
“...
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October 19, 2011
Don’t Mention The Labor War : MLB Denies Dirk His BabaBooey Moment
ESPN Dallas’ Mark Stein reports Major League Baseball has rejected a Rangers proposal to have Mavericks F Dirk Nowitzki (above, left) throw out the ceremonial first pitch at one of their home games during the 2011 World Series.
Unlike regular-season games, all first-pitch assignments in the World Series have to be approved from a list of candidates by the league office.
Sources...
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October 19, 2011
Voice’s Barra On Forgetting An Important Mets Anniversary
Hard to believe, but it’s really been a quarter century since the Amazingly Destitutes last won a World Series, and the Village Voice’s Alan Barra — prior to chronicling that squad’s legion of subsequent **** ups —- wonders, “did I miss it, or has someone written tributes to the 1986 Mets that I didn’t see?…don’t people think silver anniversaries are important any...
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October 18, 2011
Cincy Scribe Asks, “What Have The Pod People Done With Mike Brown?”
If the Bengals have indeed, traded disgruntled QB Carson Palmer to the Raiders for a pair of number 1 draft picks, the Cincinnati Enquirer’s Paul Daugherty declares the swap, “an incredibly great move for the Bengals, who had moved on without Nine, especially since Red Dalton has been so good to this point,” while at the same time noting, “it’s entirely...
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October 18, 2011
Ozzie Guillen : Home From Vacation, Deleting Don Cooper From Facebook Friends
Earlier this month, the Sun-Times’ Joe Cowley proposed White Sox pitching coach Don Cooper was the architect of Ozzie Guillen’s departure / Robin Ventura’s elevation to manager, a charge GM Kenny Williams angrily disputed. Just back from 16 days in Spain, newly appointed Marlins skipper Guillen seems to buy (most of) Cowley’s version of events, as quoted...
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October 18, 2011
Berger To David Stern : You’ve Won, Now Make The Deal Already
Calling David Stern’s anti-charm offensive aimed at Billy Hunter and Derek Fisher last week,”like watching (Michael) Jordan in his prime”, CBS Sports’ Ken Berger warns, “(Stern’s) legacy legacy will be disfigured if he doesn’t lift his foot off the players’ throats and put style points aside to achieve a victory that, while not a blowout...
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October 17, 2011
Not Even An NBA Lockout Can Stop Contradictory Reports About Eddy Curry’s Fitness
From The Miami Herald’s Barry Jackson :
Assuming Mario Chalmers re-signs, the Heat sees five open roster spots to fill thusly: two on centers (ideally a starter and a cheaper backup, perhaps Eddy Curry (above) or re-signing Jamaal Magloire); a backup point guard; and two wing players (preferably re-signing James Jones and a rotation-worthy veteran, with Shane Battier among...
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October 17, 2011
Barton To UK Media : Lynch The England Rugy Team For A Change
QPR captain Joey Barton — no stranger to the CSTB police blotter before he was snapped up by my favorite club in his youth, spoke at the Professional Players Federation conference earlier today, and for those familiar with with the shy, retiring Barton’s brand of free expression, the speech didn’t disappoint. On the subject of the England squad making headlines...
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October 17, 2011
Lester : Beckett Didn’t Get Me Hooked On KFC
(above: Lester, Lackey & Beckettt, shown during spring training, sprinting….after an ice cream truck)
“I’m who I am because of my wife and my mom and dad. Not Josh (Beckett)”, Red Sox starter Jon Lester insists to Peter Abraham in Monday’s Boston Globe. Responding to last week’s reports that portrayed the trio of Lester, Beckett and the underachieving...
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October 17, 2011
Shea To A’s : Rebuild, Don’t Relocate
In the days following the passing of Raiders owner Al Davis, there’s increased speculation Oakland and the 49′ers might collaborate on a shared new stadium in Santa Clara. If such an event comes to pass, the SF Chronicle’s John Shea reminds us that while the A’s would have the Coliseum to themselves (“which would be every bit as stinky without the Raiders”), they...
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October 16, 2011
Charles Oakley, (Self-Appointed) Executive V.P. Of Bumming Out James Dolan
19-year NBA vet and current Bobcats assistant Charles Oakley (above) remains a revered figure in New York City, though Oak’s in no mood to pretend he’s got warm feelings for the Knicks, telling the New York Post’s Tim Bontemps, “they’ve got hype. But hype don’t win nothing.” In addition to criticizing Amare’ Stoudemire (“he’s...
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October 16, 2011
Chicago Weekly Suggests Adam Dunn Isn’t Very Bright, Few Opine Otherwise
Asked if he was in favor of forgiving student loans, “Adam Dunn” replied to the Chicago Reader’s Steve Bogria, “”Sure, I’d forgive ‘em. I didn’t even know they’d done nothin’ wrong.” That none of the paper’s readers seem to think there’s anything wrong with this picture either suggests the Onion has deeply desensitized the public…or no one is willing...
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October 15, 2011
The LA Times Would Like To Nominate James Harden For The Role Of Kenny Anderson
Over the course of 13 years, Kenny Anderson still hasn’t quite lived down his “the more you make, the more you spend,” comment made during the midst of the 1998 NBA work stoppage. With the 2011 lockout becoming increasingly contentious, the Los Angeles Times’ Deborah Vankin and Matt Donnelly helpfully cite the Thunder’s James Harden as an unfortunate example of what nightclubs...
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October 15, 2011
JaVale McGee, Labor Relations Correspondent
On the bright side, at least the Wizards’ Javale McGee didn’t claim he’d been victimized by Kurt Angle or Anthony Weiner’s hacker. Nope, instead he simply denied something a media outlet actually recorded him saying. CBS Sports’ Ben Golliver recaps McGee’s ****** Friday ;
SI.com reports that Washington center JaVale McGee (above) left the...
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October 14, 2011
For Sale : Customized Greetings From All-Around Awesome Guy Rick Pitino
For only $3.99, Rick Pitino will excuse himself from his demanding duties ******* housewives at ****** spaghetti & meatballs emporiums coaching the University Of Louisville Men’s basketball squad to wish you a Happy Halloween. Or a Merry Christmas. Or A Happy Passoever. You name, Rick will say it, as will Hillary Duff, Ice-T, or Manny Ramirez.
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October 14, 2011
Never Again Will This Blog Compare Phil Mushnick To Mary Whitehouse…
(rare photo of Phil sans beard)
…mostly because it’s been done to death. And I don’t necessarily believe the New York Post’s sports media conscience columnist is a prude ; after an extended conversation last month, I think he’s sincere in believing children and those of a delicate nature are unfairly assaulted with unseemly images and words while trying...
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October 14, 2011
NMATV’s NBA Lockout Primer (Or, When Did David Stern Become So Athletic?)
Billy Hunter, though undoubtedly grateful not to receive the NMATV treatment, has been a very convenient visible target for David Stern over the past day or so.
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October 14, 2011
John Henry Defends Crazy Signings (Theo Epstein Had Nothing To Do With)
Bob Hohler’s explosive autopsy for the 2011 Boston Red Sox included a brief allusion to Fenway Sports Group’s other business interests, chiefly NASCAR and Liverpool F.C. It might be a bit unfair to say the Guardian’s David Conn was overly charmed by Red Sox / LFC principal owner John Henry (above), though the latter isn’t exactly challenged when claiming...
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October 13, 2011
Al Leiter Can Neither Confirm Nor Deny The Existence Of Shea Stadium’s Wank Bank
While another media outlet concerns itself with the slightly more serious topic of David Wright’s long term future (or lack thereof) in a Mets uniform, Sports Grid’s Dan Fogarty tuned in to Thursday’s edition of the syndicated Dan Patrick Show, where the matter of the home team clubhouse at Fenway Park (ie. a hotbed of KFC gorging, beer guzzling and intense video...
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October 13, 2011
Iggles Linemen To Critical Fans : Do We Come To Your Place Of Work & Knock The DIck Out Of Your Mouth?
OK, I’m very sorry. That’s not at all what Philadelphia center Jason Kelce and guard Evan Mathis had to say to Eagles fans displaying the above sign outside their practice facility. Kelce tells Philly.com’s Jonathan Tamari the exchange was entirely civil.
Kelce and Mathis said they asked the fans to take down the sign. Both said they did not threaten the fans...
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October 13, 2011
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Since 2003 CSTB has been a beacon of light in the murky world of sports bloggery, stirring up the day's news (sporting and otherwise) into a piping hot bouillabaisse of the trenchant and troubling. Much like human flesh, an acquired taste.
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