LATEST STORIES FROM CAPITOL PUNISHMENT
Acceptance
April 27, 2009 by
Capitol Punishment
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My wife watched the last two innings of this one with me, perhaps the first time she's actively watched a game with me in, like, three years.Her thoughts:"Hanrahan looks scared.""Manny looks really stupid.""Manny looks like he has no clue how to change...
Fireworks.jpg
March 01, 2009 by
Capitol Punishment
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It's always sad to see a man lose his job....BWAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAA!!!! Who am I kidding?
StanSpeak Returns
February 11, 2009 by
Capitol Punishment
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Since a few of you still check in here, there's a new StanSpeak up. You can find all my stories, good and bad, here. ::fireworks.jpg::
Because I Probably Can't Say This Over There
January 27, 2009 by
Capitol Punishment
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****!!!!!!!!!"MASN has named Rob Dibble as the new color commentator for the Washington Nationals. He will join play-by-play man Bob Carpenter in the booth beginning with the 2009 season under a multi-year contract with MASN."
I'm Back For More Cash
January 26, 2009 by
Capitol Punishment
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To the tens of tens of you who still visit here daily*, I'm back. Sort of.* and aren't pornhounds disappointed in where google led them astrayFirst, buy this book! I again contributed to the Hardball Times Season Preview, chipping in a bunch of words about last year's team...
Go Here. Now.
August 26, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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No, I'm not coming back. Save the emails.Go here instead.Every year, Tango does an fan survey to evaluate defense. He gets as much input from as many fans as possible and compiles them into a scouting report and a ranking system. I strongly urge you to fill out the form, doing...
Hey, Mr. Lerner!
July 13, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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Please sell the team you cheap ****. (Hey, Stan! I didn't call him a cheap bastard like you said we would!) Go back to your real estate business, douchebag. I hope someone slips on the tiles at Dulles and sues your shitbag cheapass family for a couple of million -- just a tiny...
When You're Behind The Marlins...
June 11, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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Even the Marlins held a fanfest!
From the looks of it, Stan Kasten and the PR department have a lot more sheet rock to hang. Get to it guys, just 50 days or so to go!
Tonight's The Night
May 06, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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It's Time.Way back in October 2004, I started writing the blog, not really knowing what to expect, and certainly not expecting that it would get to be as big (relatively speaking) as it is, nor would it have given me some of the opportunities it has.I started for two simple reasons...
Boz Fails Economics
May 02, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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For fark's sake, Boz. Get your head out of your ass!First, when is this guy going to stop writing about the goddamn stadium? We get it. We've seen it. We've read the same farkin' column for the last fourteen weeks.But here he is, swallowing the Stan Kasten Kool Aid...
What A Happy Ending!
May 01, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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Nats Enquirer points to the good news! On his big day with his bobblehead (though with Pittsburgh in town, it could pass for a Jerome Bettis one), Dmitri has found the miracle cure for that aching back: a masseuse!"I was stunned," Bowden said. "All of a sudden, he has...
No Shoulder To Cry On
April 30, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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So Chad Cordero's out. It's an acute tear of the latissimus dorsi muscle.What's that mean? His shoulder hurts. The lat is a big muscle that covers a good chunk of your back and side. Here's a handy picture, and you can pretty easily see why a tear there would make a...
No Comment Necessary
April 28, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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I'd make a gravitational force joke, but that's too easy.I do believe they miss Dmitri Young. I believe he could provide an occasional spark if given a chance to start in left field. In all my years in Washington, Young is the only player who makes a difference just by his...
The Way We Was: Week 4
April 28, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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All things considered, it was a pretty good week. Four and three is always a good week, I suppose. You do that every week, and you've got ninety or so wins. For a team that was taking on water like the inside of Screech's costume on an August afternoon, 4-3 is terrific. For...
It's A Funny Game!
April 25, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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If you and your buddy were making picks of players to hit a walk-off, alternating players, where would Wil Nieves get picked? Last? Maybe just a pick ahead of the other Wee Willie, Harris? Man! Did you see that swing?! Up and away junk, and he swung high, driving the ball to right...
Scouting The Opposition
April 25, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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I traded questions with Byron from Goat Riders of the Apocalypse, who's already relishing the prospect of a sweep. (Apparently he's seen Matt Chico pitch!)My answers to his questions are at that link up there ^^^His answers to my questions are down here vvvvThe Nationals are...
Better Approach
April 25, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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The FIRE LENNY!!!! Chorus got a reprieve while they were running the Hudson/Smoltz/Santana gauntlet. No fair blaming him for something the rest of the league can't usually do against them.But they certainly looked like a new team out there yesterday. I didn't see those lazy...
Cut Him! He's A Bum! He Never Smiles!
April 24, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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In the words of the noted philosopher Joey Eischen, "Suck on it and like it!"
Random Thoughts While Waiting For Ray King's Release
April 24, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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1) Nice crowd there last night. Though the place was dead. Not sure if it's the lousy team, the segregated seats or what, but the place really hasn't had much atmosphere in any of the games I've been to this year. At least the Mets fans were there to spice it up a bit.2...
Hey, How 'Bout Those Cherry Trees?
April 23, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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Didja see them? They're Byooo-T-Full! And the PlayStation? Did you know we have one? You can build your own Screech even! C'mon up to the Red Porch! What's that? No, don't look over there towards the green grass! Come over here! Did you see Ben's chili bowl! No...
So Does This Mean Stan Will Give Me A Refund?
April 23, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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I heard this quote coming in, and Barry helpfully transcribes it:[W]e want to win every single night," Manager Manny Acta said. "But with the plan we have here, and what we're trying to accomplish here, an outing by this young man like that is worth three or four of those...
Someone Help Me
April 22, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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What's it called when the Nats finish a game with more runs than the other team again? There's a word for it, probably a stat, even... anyone?Baseball's a great game sometimes.Nats were sending up a rookie against a should-be Hall-of-Famer (he's really one of my favorite...
Hitting Coach or Dr. Phil?
April 21, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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Oh fercrissake "[The hitting] hasn't picked up like I thought it would pick up," [pathetically over-matched hitting coach Lenny] Harris said. "It is a mystery to me. The whole offensive team went from doing well to searching for a base hit. I guess that is a part...
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