LATEST STORIES FROM CAPITOL PUNISHMENT
For Your Game-Watching Pleasure
April 21, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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Feel free to order a set of these for your next home game in the Capitol Punishment Web Store. I find they look especially nice in the $47 Red Porch seats.They really do come up with new and interesting ways to suck, don't they?Losing is one thing. Losing in such embarrassing fashion...
Plenty Of Good Seats Available
April 20, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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Kasten's quote, "We'll get the attendance we deserve," certainly looks true tonight.
He doesn't seem too concerned.
I'll give him the miserable weather, but here's a question for you. Is there anyone out here reading this who REALLY decided to stay...
What Am I Missing?
April 20, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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I missed today's game, thankfully, but this is what I see:
Bottom 8, Nats just pulled to within 2 and Jesus Colome comes back out for his second inning of work.
Two outs before the inevitable walk.
LaRussa pinch-hits for his starting pitcher, bringing in left-handed slugger...
Gameday: Redding For Real?
April 20, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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Tim Redding strolls back out to the mound, trying to prove that his upped velocity is the reason why he has success last week, and that he really is for real -- even with meh BB and K numbers. He faces off against Florida's Andrew Miller, one of the key pieces of the Cabrera/Willis...
Gameday: Fish Stink Underwater
April 20, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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Jason Bergmannnnn gets to play stopper today, going up against Scott "Jimmy" Olsen and the Florida Marlins.
In his last outing, Bergmann pitched well before fading late against a tough lineup. The Fish lineup isn't quite as good, but it's still dangerous. Bergmann...
Gameday: Nats At Cardinals
April 20, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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Bob Carpenter is in heaven, as he returns to see his beloved St. Louis Cardinals play his employer's team.
Odalis "Not Oliver" Perez faces off against Braden Looper, the goofiest looking pitcher since Kirk Reuter.
Looper was moved to the rotation last year after the...
Hey, D-Bag
April 20, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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And whose job is it to do that, jerkoff?
"You're not watching our pitching staff? The decisions are really easy. It's simple: Get me better pitching," the GM said. "
He goes on to complain about how much worse the pitching is doing this year.
First, this...
Gameday: Fish Stink Underwater
April 20, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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Jason Bergmannnnn gets to play stopper today, going up against Scott "Jimmy" Olsen and the Florida Marlins.
In his last outing, Bergmann pitched well before fading late against a tough lineup. The Fish lineup isn't quite as good, but it's still dangerous. Bergmann...
More Fanny Numbers
April 20, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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OMG crunches some more attendance numbers, looking at weeknight games later in homestands, as some of you demanded in comments to my last post. He has a few other ways of looking at it, and it's worth checking out.
Go bitch at him for being negative, too. Why does he have to report...
One More Complaint
April 20, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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(and then I'll write something positive about the stadium, I promise!)
If your row is goddamn empty, you DO NOT NEED TO SIT IN YOUR EXACT SEATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Here's a picture. X is a person. * is my fat ass. 0 is an empty seat.
This is what I walked in to last night.
0000000XX00000XX0...
BOOOOOO!
April 20, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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BOOOOOOOOOO! BOOOO! BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! BOOOOOOOOOO!
The Way We Was: Week 2
April 20, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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This is rock bottom right? Like last year, it has to get better.
Look at the team's batting stats. Only Nick Johnson and Lastings Milledge are doing about what we expected. Guzman is exceeding expectations, but other than those three, every other batter is stinking up the park...
Warming Up In The Pen
April 20, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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OMG writes what I was thinking. As usual.
Warming Up In The Pen
April 19, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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OMG writes what I was thinking. As usual.
Do I Hear $100 Million? Going, Going...
March 29, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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Bid #1: "Already, the Lerners have shelled out $20 million that Major League Baseball agreed the new owners would contribute to the new stadium
The Dept. of Oversensitivity
March 25, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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Man, they just keep giving 'em to us:
"We spent the extra money, we got a bigger caliper tree," [Cousin Mark] Lerner said. "It'll be much more spectacular."
Uhoh. That's coming out of someone's budget! I hope Hagerstown kept some extra balls from last season.
In Which Mr. Boswell Discovers Baseball Reference
March 20, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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Boz writes a fun little column using Baseball Reference's similarity scores to compare today's players to old guys who are probably dead.
The team indicates that they futz around with similarities from time to time.
Last winter, Manager Manny Acta consulted with a stat-fanatic...
CRAP: Infield
March 19, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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It's that time of year again! Time for BS projections! I've brought back my world famous CRAP projections. For those unfamiliar, CRAP is my patented (pending) statistical projection system. CRAP, which stands for Chris' Random-Ass Projections, is a highly sophisticated...
CRAP: Catchers
March 19, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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So far, we've looked at the outfield and the infield. We'll move on to the backstop, the position that's undergone the most turmoil since last season.
The good news is that treading water on the offensive side of the ball likely won't be that hard. Nats catchers hit...
More Of My Blather
March 19, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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A few links to some crap I did elsewhere...
First up, in anticipation of your most eagerly awaited CP posts of the year (the haiku season previews), I contributed to Fan House's poetry season preview. I chipped in a meager attempt at a double dactyl. The meter works, but it lacks...
Your Line Of The Night
March 19, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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Thanks to Michael for pointing out Joel Hanrahan's night -- which is undoubtedly ticking off beat writers who have to consider re-writing copy for a feckin' spring training game.
Threeoh Hanrahan has pitched 3 innings, while striking out 8 and walking none, a dominating night...
Trivia Quiz
March 19, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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Who is Chico Harlan?
1) The top draw of Lucha Libre in Northern Mexico?
2) Kevin Harlan's son, and Bob Carpenter's replacement on MASN?
3) A character in an Elmore Leonard story?
4) Most likely Barry Svrulga's replacement?
Hint: Pick 4
Caution: No actual reporting involved...
Orb-Weaver
March 19, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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Ladson updates a story that made the LA Times this morning. The Nats are interested in signing Jeff Weaver. Weaver's a Boras client, and Boras clients always want a lot of money, even if they'll settle for short-term deals. But this is the second straight year that Weaver&...
CRAP: Offense
March 19, 2008 by
Capitol Punishment
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So we've made some projections for the outfield, infield, and catchers. If we've got performance, and we can take a swing at playing time, we can estimate runs.
I'm going to use the runs created cheat that I've used a few times. It's definitely not the best. It...
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