LATEST STORIES FROM DEUCE OF DAVENPORT

Qatar Emancipates Nepalese Ambassador Back To Nepal Over Slave Labor Allegations

The Guardian’s recent expose of labor practices in Qatar brought attention to the plight of workers building facilities for the 2022 World Cup. Dozens have died in the past several weeks and thousands more are working under slave-like conditions. The government responded to the report by giving a laborer free like Amistad. The Nepalese government has recalled its ambassador to...
Via Deuce of Davenport
September 26, 2013  |  Discuss

Spain Tried To Celebrate Their Group Stage Win With Hookers

“Congratulations Italy! You just came in third in the Confederations Cup! What are you going to do now?” “Eh… Mi scusi but we cannot celebrate. They would not let us bring our meat and cheese into the country. We go home and make a porchetta from Maya. Do not tell Mario. Grazie!” Italy managed to edge out Uruguay in Sunday’s third-place game through penalties. Spain-Brazil...
Via Deuce of Davenport
June 30, 2013  |  Discuss

Usher To Play Sugar Ray Leonard In Upcoming Roberto Duran Biopic

Usher, or Urshur to his friends, is going full Ali and playing a boxer in an upcoming Roberto Duran biopic called Hands of Stone. He’ll be playing the role of nemesis Sugar Ray Leonard. “You couldn’t find a more stylized boxer than Sugar Ray Leonard,” Usher said by telephone. “He was an incredible motion guy, the way he moved around the ring, and I think my dancing will...
Via Deuce of Davenport
May 22, 2013  |  Discuss

Emmanuel Eboue Gives The Sweetest Post-Game Interview

Former Arsenal and current Galatasary right back Emmanuel Eboue has taken to Turkey like a late night doner kabob to my stomach. A bit rough at times but it all works out in the end. He’s settled into the squad which just won the Turkish Super Cup and Super Lig. Apparently everything is super in Turkey except Allen Iverson. Eboue hasn’t only found his form on the pitch. He...
Via Deuce of Davenport
May 22, 2013  |  Discuss

Zeta Drug Cartel And Horse Racing Together At Last Like Nuts And Gum

First you get the coke then you get the horses and then you get the women. The Zeta drug cartel thought they came up with a brilliant way to launder money from drug proceeds until it turned out that it wasn’t. Jose Treviño Morales and three others are going on trial in Austin, TX starting today. They allegedly set up a horse breeding and racing business that allowed them to launder...
Via Deuce of Davenport
April 22, 2013  |  Discuss

Newcastle Fan Kicked Off Jury For Being A Sunderland Hater

Thursday 2:30 PM Newcastle Crown Court. How soon until Law and Order: SVU tackles the ongoing rivalry between Newcastle and Sunderland fans? It has everything including riots and horse punching. All we need is a sexual crime. Obviously a Sunderland supporter raping a horse in revenge for Barry Rogerson punching a horse. Dramatic court room scene? Sorted. An unnamed juror was kicked...
Via Deuce of Davenport
April 21, 2013  |  Discuss

Harrison Ford Still Shows Effects Of Carbon Freeze Throwing Out First Pitch

Somebody call Deputy U.S. Marshal Gerard. You know how I know Dr. Richard Kimble was guilty of killing his wife? No innocent man would have throw the first pitch into the ground on Jackie Robinson Day at Dodger Stadium. That throw has wife killer written all over it.
Via Deuce of Davenport
April 20, 2013  |  Discuss

Rex Ryan Also Finds Peter Angelos To Be Quite The Wack

Put me down as one of the Ravens fans who was inexplicably pissed off that the Orioles weren’t willing to move the time of their September 5th home game to accomodate the Ravens. The Super Bowl champions should be opening up at home on that day but will instead play on the road at Denver. You know who else ain’t having it? Rex Ryan. “Well who really cares, you’ve got 81 at...
Via Deuce of Davenport
April 19, 2013  |  Discuss

Huracan Can’t Win For Losing But Their Fans Think Otherwise

Dean Wormer told Mr. Dorfman that fat, drunk and stupid was no way to go through life. Losing soccer tournaments isn’t either at least if you play in Argentina. Injury was added to insult after Huracan lost to Godoy Cruz in the Copa Argentina and their fans attacked the players as they showered following practice. A group of furious fans disguised in masks bum rushed the locker...
Via Deuce of Davenport
April 19, 2013  |  Discuss

Who Wants To Fleece Mutombo: The Gold Smuggling Drama Continues

A former NBA All-Star. A Texas energy company chairman. A rough diamond trader. An indicted Rwandan warlord. An innocent flight attendant. This has the makings of an intriguing but short-lived Starz series or a terrible movie staring Bruce Willis but unfortunately this is the real life of Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean-Jacques Wamutombo. Kelly Shannon, a flight attendant,...
Via Deuce of Davenport
April 19, 2013  |  Discuss

Come And Have A Go If You Think You’re Hard Enough

Awww the little guy wants some so bad. This soccer fan wishes he was out there punching horses with the big boys or he’s holding himself back from going full berzerker on a whole firm. You want some of this too, old man? No. Your musical reference: The Mekons
Via Deuce of Davenport
April 19, 2013  |  Discuss

NFL Mandates Video Cameras In Locker Rooms Next Season

A college friend who will remain nameless had a habit of flashing people at every possible opportunity. You’d be walking down the hall minding your business when he would jump out, seemingly from nowhere, with his dick hanging out. The worst was going to the bathroom. He would sucker you into a conversation, wait until you turned towards the shower then throw up the shower curtain...
Via Deuce of Davenport
April 09, 2013  |  Discuss

Bribing Public Officials With Hockey Tickets? That’s So Canada

Bribing public officials isn’t unique to Chicago, Washington DC or even this country. Canadian officials are down for a little quid pro quo although their demands are uniquely America Jr. Montreal is caught up in the rapture of the Charbonneau corruption inquiry. It’s got everything you would want. Bribery, mafia involvement, bid rigging, price fixing and free hockey tickets...
Via Deuce of Davenport
April 09, 2013  |  Discuss

Bulgarian Soccer Manager Loses His Mind and Books Referee

Just wait until J.R. Smith T’s up Joey Crawford. It only a matter of when.
Via Deuce of Davenport
April 09, 2013  |  Discuss

Mirko Vucinic Adopts No Pants Policy When Scoring Goals

“Now that is a disgusting act by Randy Moss.” Who can forget where they were when Joe Buck expressed the disgust of a nation after Randy Moss pretended to moon Packers fans? Won’t someone please think about the children? Imagine his reaction upon seeing Mirko Vucinic strip off his shorts and wave them over his head like a lasso. What is it with people thinking video needs...
Via Deuce of Davenport
April 08, 2013  |  Discuss

Lava Kayaking Is Your New Hotness

See what I did there? All day.
Via Deuce of Davenport
April 08, 2013  |  Discuss

Jackie Chan And That Lip-Syncing Girl From Beijing Olympics Are The Worst People In China

Aww look at that little guy swing from a helicopter and slide down the side of a building! Hey that little girl singing at the Olympics is so cute! Slow your roll and have a seat. Remember where you were when you found out Santa Claus wasn’t real or Stefan Urquel and Steve Urkel were the same person? This is worse. Little did we know that Jackie Chan and Lin Miaoke are nothing...
Via Deuce of Davenport
April 08, 2013  |  Discuss

Heavy Metal Saves The World Or A Couple Kids At The Least

It’s a damn shame musicians stopped combining powers to raise money for charitable causes. I’m not talking telethons or some cause de célèbre which is nothing but a cash grab (shout out to Wyclef). I’m talking about singers joining forces and making music in hastily organized mobs to save the world. Remember Do The Muslim Kids Know It’s Christmas? How about We Are The World...
Via Deuce of Davenport
April 08, 2013  |  Discuss

A Secretariat Decanter Filled With Bourbon In Time For The Kentucky Derby

Oh Kegasus we barely knew ye. How will we remember our favorite party centaur? The Kentucky Derby Museum suggests a decanter of delicious bourbon. Brownest of the brown liquors. What’s that? You want me to drink you? I’m in the middle of writing a post. The museum is releasing a Secretariat themed decanter right before the Kentucky Derby. That’s not the best part. It’ll be...
Via Deuce of Davenport
April 07, 2013  |  Discuss

Russian Football Union Defies Chechen President And Faces Death By Tiger

Ramzan Kadyrov is a bloodthirsty autocrat put in place by Vladmir Putin to quash the Chechen insurgency. He kills mothers and children while torturing anyone suspected of being a Muslim militant. This is what many would have you believe. Look at him. Do you doubt Hilary Swank? Could a man who owns a tiger be that evil? That’s almost as ridiculous as calling an Italian a fascist...
Via Deuce of Davenport
April 05, 2013  |  Discuss

Bursapor Keeper Attempts To Hulk Smash A Pitch Invader

The tension between singer Harun Tekin and Harun Tekin the goalkeeper has to be intense. It’s probably something along the lines of the beef between Initech’s Michael Bolton and the milquetoast crooner Michael Bolton who, with his inoffensive covers of soul hits, brings suburban moms to their knees without the negro aggression. The hostility may go in one direction because the...
Via Deuce of Davenport
April 01, 2013  |  Discuss

First You Get The Drones Then You Get The Facial Recognition Technology At Oakland Raiders Games

“Calling all cars. Calling all cars. Be on the lookout for a fat, silver and black guy with spikes wearing a silver and black helmet, silver and black jersey, Mardi Gras beads and Doc Martins. Last seen in section 105 heading east. He’s bad.” The Oakland Coliseum or whatever the pit where the Raiders and A’s play is called isn’t a cafe so it’s probably off Rand Paul...
Via Deuce of Davenport
March 08, 2013  |  Discuss

Congressman Peter King Is Going To Fight A Kickboxer On Saturday

Who can forget Congressman Peter King (R-NY) standing up in the face of terror and holding hearings on Muslim “Radicalization”? If it doesn’t work four times, hold a fifth hearing. Ward-Gatti had nothing on King-Islam. Much to King’s dismay, mosques (80% of which are jihadist according to him) are still in our midst so he’s decided to take on a new opponent. A New York...
Via Deuce of Davenport
March 07, 2013  |  Discuss

Barcelona Spied On Pique Because They Were Worried About Shakira’s Hips

Barcelona’s recent drop in form has sent the soccer world into conniptions. The seemingly unstoppable force that is “mas que un club” came to a screeching halt in Milan and was battered twice in a row by Real Madrid. Some have attributed their problems to the absence of manager Tito Vilanova who is currently in the US undergoing cancer treatments. Barca however might suspect...
Via Deuce of Davenport
March 05, 2013  |  Discuss

Enjoy This Gorilla’s Audition Tape For Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes

No couch sex with the casting director this time. You got the role, kid. Now get out there and be somebody!
Via Deuce of Davenport
March 01, 2013  |  Discuss
SITE INFORMATION
Deuce of Davenport
Deuce of Davenport
Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
Help
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.