LATEST STORIES FROM DEUCE OF DAVENPORT

Peyton Manning should never be a Redskin

Contrary to what Sally Jenkins believes, no one is going to win if  Peyton Manning joins the Washington Redskins.  NO ONE.  Not Peyton Manning, not the Redskins players, not the fans, not Dan Snyder…no one, and this is why: Peyton Manning WILL LOSE BIG TIME Manning will lose in the biggest way if he ends his career with the Washington Redskins.  It will be like those last...
Via Deuce of Davenport  |  13 hours ago
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Forgive Eric Cantona Or He Will Fu*k You In The Ass

Don’t believe him? Ask the Rolex-wearing Pope. Apparently Cantona gave it to him like an altar boy. Payback’s a *****, your eminence. You might remember Manchester United’s Eric “Ooh Aah” Cantona from such incidents as the infamous kung fu kick where he rushed into the crowd and dropkicked a Crystal Palace supporter in 1995. Well [...]
Via Deuce of Davenport  |  December 05, 2011
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Guess Who’s Back?

Sidney Crosby came back to the Pittsburgh Penguins last night, in a big way. Sidney scored 2 goals and had 2 assists in his first game back from two concussions sustained last season while routing the Islanders 5-0. While I am no fan of the Penguins, having Crosby back playing hockey is a good thing [...]
Via Deuce of Davenport  |  November 22, 2011
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GET WELL SOON

Ceballos survives heart attacks

The former dunk champ decided to get himself checked out after suffering some chest pains and learned he had a series of small heart attacks, but looks to be ok. 

Via Deuce of Davenport  |  November 22, 2011
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NFL Week 11: The Week Coaches Throw Themselves Under The Bus

Chan Gailey and Tom Coughlin were so stunned by their players lack of performances this week that they offered no excuses for their play. In fact, they pretty much threw them under the bus after the game. Here’s Coughlin first after his Giants dramatic loss to the Vince Young led Philadelphia Eagles : “My question [...]
Via Deuce of Davenport  |  November 21, 2011
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The Ballad of the Banditos Makes Everything Better

If you’re a Redskins fan, like myself, you cannot be happy with six losses in a row. If you’re not, WELL PISS OFF!  Your team likely hasn’t lost 6 GAMES IN A ROW this season (apologies to Colts, Dolphins & Rams fans, you know the pain)! Ahem, excuse me, where was I?  Ah yes, well [...]
Via Deuce of Davenport  |  November 21, 2011
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Dana White would like you to read the Constitution right now, New York

There is a school of thought, often associated with U.S. Supreme Court Justices Antonin Scalia, and Clarence Thomas, that the U.S. Constitution was a rigid document that only asks that we look to its text within the context of what our founding fathers intended. This notion is commonly referred to in legal circles as “intentionalism” [...]
Via Deuce of Davenport  |  November 17, 2011
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UFC on Fox marks the beginning of the end, although it’s not really the beginning…whoah

In an event that would mimic many of this author’s previous sexual encounters, both in brevity, and disappointment, we gathered around our idiot boxes Saturday night to witness the next step in the castration of UFC.  We were treated to the Fox Sports theme so commonly associated with the NFL; to Brock Lesnar in a [...]
Via Deuce of Davenport  |  November 17, 2011
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Brian Cushing Still Has A Little Bill Romanoski In Him If You Know What I Mean

NFL players and fans laughed under their breath when the Texans’ Brian Cushing denied using performance enhancing substances after being suspended four games in 2010 for violating the NFL’s PED policy. It’s not often that players call out or mock other players for that unless their name is Rodney Harrison. Rumors swirled about steroid use [...]
Via Deuce of Davenport  |  November 15, 2011
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You Can Now Have An ESPNZone In Your Basement

Sometimes I wish I didn’t live in a two bedroom condo in the city. If I had a basement rumpus room (or “Man-cave” as is the mot du présent) every empty space of it would be filled with used crap that I just bought at this ESPN Zone auction that is currently going on right here in [...]
Via Deuce of Davenport  |  November 07, 2011
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There’s Not Enough Money In the World that Will Allow Mark Cuban to Buy the Dodgers

Mark Cuban is a funny, smart, charming, and successful NBA owner. Most NBA fans wish they had a guy like Cuban running their team. Most NBA owners appreciate the attention (and revenue) he’s driven to the league. Most MLB owners, on the other hand, wish he would just go away. And so it goes with Mark Cuban’s [...]
Via Deuce of Davenport  |  November 03, 2011
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T.O. worked out in front of television cameras today for your amusement

Father Time All-world wideout Terrell Owens took a break from his busy VH1 filming schedule to run routes and do drills in shorts for the cameras of the NFL Network yesterday. This would be more impressive but for the fact that absolutely anyone can do this themselves in their spare time, too. Pass me a [...]
Via Deuce of Davenport  |  October 26, 2011
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Colts officially shut down expensive, aging, QB ( the other one)

After watching my Cleveland Browns beat the Seattle Seahawks in the ugliest football game I have seen in a long time, I was treated to watching the Indianapolis Colts get embarrassed by the New Orleans Saints 62-7. Fortunately for the Colts, they are one more game closer to ending this debacle of a season. And [...]
Via Deuce of Davenport  |  October 26, 2011
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Non-Labor-Strifey First Pitch Alternatives to Dirk Nowitzki

By now you’ve heard the curious case of Dirk Nowitzki, the Texas Rangers, and the first pitch of the World Series. Marc Stein, the ESPN NBA reporter who looks like the kid from “Two and a Half Men,” noted on Tuesday that the Rangers nominated Nowitzki to do the honors for at least one game in Arlington but that recommendation was nixed by MLB [...]
Via Deuce of Davenport  |  October 20, 2011
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HEy @jIMmYtrAiNA, TWiTtEr is SeRiOUs BizNaSS!??!?!?!?!?!!?!? :( LMAO!!!! ;) LOL

  If you have an even remote interest in Twitter as a social media platform, you understand the tool has become as vital to our cultural identity as an email address. And if you’ve ever logged into Twitter, you know three things: 1) It provides a direct, constant stream of information… 2) Some of which is [...]
Via Deuce of Davenport  |  October 19, 2011
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Another champion leaves but Strikeforce is doing great, proclaims no one

Ex-aerobics instructor and bald Vince McMahon Dana White has been on a subtle mission to ruin Strikeforce since the UFC announced that it was purchasing the U.S. fight promotion earlier this year. While the UFC is indeed the top dog in the U.S., with apologies to Bellator, Strikeforce still represented an alternative to see fights [...]
Via Deuce of Davenport  |  October 18, 2011
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Steven Seagal is protecting your borders Texas

Rape whistle inventor’s inspiration and Bobby Lupo avenger Steven Seagal was instrumental in the victories of Andersen Silva over Vitor Belfort at UFC 126, and Lyoto Machida’s victory over Randy Couture. Although Jon “Bones” Jones had the opportunity to learn the ways of the eskimo woman sensi, he chose to decline, which lead to him [...]
Via Deuce of Davenport  |  October 18, 2011
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Football Fan Paternalism is Why I Hate Football Fans

So yesterday, good friend and fellow Deuce of Davenporter Turd Ferguson posted this. And while I respect his opinion on many, many sports-related matters, I have to take him to task on what he wrote about my beloved Major League Baseball. If his article appeared on any other respected website, I’d do the same. So Turd, no hard feelings. I [...]
Via Deuce of Davenport  |  October 14, 2011
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Boston Red Sox Drama underscores why I hate baseball

I rarely write about baseball, mostly because it’s just not that appealing to me. If the ratings are to be believed then I far from alone. I can pretty much predict all the teams that will be in it every season. Oh, sure, some “smaller market” clubs can break through here and there, like the [...]
Via Deuce of Davenport  |  October 13, 2011
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Mike Florio calls off the witch hunt that he created

Lobotomy-candidate and ordained asshole Mike Florio should be proud of himself. Only someone with a true absence of any integrity whatsoever would initiate a story about a hardrunning, Jesus-loving, truck towing, football player sitting out a game after losing 10-12 lbs. and flip it into an act of defiance in the midst of brutal contract [...]
Via Deuce of Davenport  |  October 11, 2011
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“I’m Hank Williams Jr., *****.”

For the past five years, the “worldwide leader in Boston sports” has carried a target on its back the size of Chris Berman’s underpants. Taking shots at ESPN (and Berman) is a blogger birthright: if you don’t openly loathe the corporate behemoth, you just don’t get it. To be fair, the persons writing on this site fall [...]
Via Deuce of Davenport  |  October 07, 2011
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Dana White seeks to prevent black-on-black violence (again)

Lyoto Machida is going to get a shot at Jon Bones Jones at UFC 140, blue balling the deliciousness of the grudge match between Rashad Evans and Lyoto Machida that is a terrific excuse to get a keg, invite your friends over, and reconfigure the descrambler on your television. It sucks, but when Mr. Clean [...]
Via Deuce of Davenport  |  October 07, 2011
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Penny for your thoughts, Mike Florio

Profootballtalk is a simple but effective concept; a professional football news clearinghouse. It’s a simple web design (hey, like us!) and it was simply an easy way to read about the NFL, and perhaps the UFL, without having to scour the periodicals (shows image of newspapers on printing press in black in white). So, then [...]
Via Deuce of Davenport  |  October 05, 2011
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MLB Gave the Sports World a Two-Day Hangover

In a span of about 90 minutes on Wednesday night, Major League Baseball melted the proverbial faces of the sporting world with three dramatic win or go-home games. For a generation of sports fans that want/need/must-have information at every possible juncture, Wednesday night’s finish was just about perfect. And if that wasn’t quick enough, 48 hours later, [...]
Via Deuce of Davenport  |  September 30, 2011
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Mike Florio tells you how to interpret the news

NBC was once a proud network in the days of Seinfeld and even Friends. But then NBC greenlit Joey, and Outsourced, and then they went through a very public divorce from Conan O’Brien, and well…it’s not been a good couple of years. So now NBC is trying desperately to become the new home of all [...]
Via Deuce of Davenport  |  September 29, 2011
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