LATEST STORIES FROM DUCKSNORTS
Will I Lose My Sight if I Watch, or Just My Lunch?
July 20, 2009 by
Ducksnorts
| Comments
Apparently the Padres still have games to play. What a relief…
Adrian Hits the Skids
I was thinking about whether Adrian Gonzalez’s recent slide might be a result of his being tired and whether he should take a day or two off. Then I realized that I don’t care how...
Will I Lose My Sight if I Watch, or Just My Lunch?
July 20, 2009 by
Ducksnorts
| Comments
Apparently the Padres still have games to play. What a relief…
Adrian Hits the Skids
I was thinking about whether Adrian Gonzalez’s recent slide might be a result of his being tired and whether he should take a day or two off. Then I realized that I don’t care how...
Takin’ a Break
June 29, 2009 by
Ducksnorts
| Comments
Life is good, but there’s a little too much of it right now so I’m taking some time off. Ducksnorts will resume publication after the All-Star break.
In the meantime, I’ll continue to publish at Hardball Times and Unfiltered. Also, if you do the Twittter thing, I...
Is Life Ever Good Enough?
June 22, 2009 by
Ducksnorts
| Comments
I use baseball to mark the passage of time. The memory of specific events helps keep me grounded in a world that often makes less sense than I’d like it to make (forgive the fact that I grew up rooting for the Dodgers):
1981 — Fernandomania; Rick Monday’s homer off...
Brutal Is As Brutal Does
June 15, 2009 by
Ducksnorts
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The Padres are boring. That’s the word on the street… a street apparently filled with people who don’t like baseball.
Just give me a game to watch and the rest will take care of itself. There is no pressure with this team, no expectation of success. Every win is a...
Is It Giving Up if You Never Believed?
June 08, 2009 by
Ducksnorts
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I met a girl at summer camp when I was nine. Laura was 16 and the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. We exchanged letters for a while, then got on with our lives. In my dream, we meet again for some forgotten reason.
“It’s great to see you,” she says.
“...
Winning Half Is Like Losing Half, and Vice Versa
June 01, 2009 by
Ducksnorts
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When last we spoke, the Padres had won 10 straight games. They finally lost on Tuesday, but not without a serious fight.
Kevin Correia breezes through 4 2/3 innings, then runs into trouble. Ryan Roberts bloops a single in front of Chase Headley that a more accomplished left fielder...
Vicodin Dreams
May 26, 2009 by
Ducksnorts
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I will do anything to avoid a game in Albuquerque — be it getting hopelessly lost in that fine city, having my car smashed by a big rig en route from Missouri, or as now, recovering from knee surgery. A sensible person would simply admit he didn’t want to watch the Isotopes...
To Sweep and To Be Swept
May 18, 2009 by
Ducksnorts
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Sunlight glimmers off the bay like sweat, like flashbulbs, a disco ball, coins from a slot machine, dice rolling, neon signs. Patterns of light moving impossibly fast, not moving at all. Stare long enough, it all becomes one. Time and meaning are lost, like the days themselves, swept...
Lousy, Yet Affordable
May 11, 2009 by
Ducksnorts
| Comments
Another day, another loss. We had tickets for Monday night, but I didn’t get off work until 7 p.m. and the knee was killing me, so instead we watched on TV over Greek salad and Sam’s spaghetti with spinach and blue cheese.
Why does Kevin Correia’s windup put him in...
Play with Your Food
May 04, 2009 by
Ducksnorts
| Comments
I have the strangest dreams…
Maybe the Padres will do okay this year. In your heart of hearts, you don’t believe it, but you’ll commit to it over olives on a fork and flutes of champagne. You’ll sneak it into conversation, right between “My kid is smart...
Eight Sliders Sliding
April 27, 2009 by
Ducksnorts
| Comments
Got my coffee. Got my Neko Case. Like when I drove from Asheville to Durham en route to Cooperstown for Tony Gwynn’s Hall of Fame induction. So many trees. I miss the road.
* * *
Jody Gerut rocks the ‘69 uni
Stupid game Tuesday night at PhoneCo. Top of the fourth, Kevin...
Do What You Cannot Do
April 20, 2009 by
Ducksnorts
| Comments
The way it works with cover bands in this town is you play two nights — Friday and Saturday — from 9 p.m. to close. Three one-hour sets punctuated by 10-minute breaks, with a longer (80-minute) set to end the night.
Wait, are we playing Jimmy Buffet and then Slayer, or...
The Ride Is All We Have
April 13, 2009 by
Ducksnorts
| Comments
Opening Day. An affirmation of spring, life, and all that is good in the world. Moments of perfection will carry us through difficult times. There is no other way.
Baseball is my pulse, my clock, my book of days. Seasons all run together. I was in high school discovering Roto, now...
Third Door on the Left/Patchwork Pitching Staff Blues
April 06, 2009 by
Ducksnorts
| Comments
You are in the wrong place. You want hope — third door on the left, just past apathy and before foolishness.
Take a good look at what you cannot have.
It is written that the Padres will be terrible this year, and what is written must be true. Cancel the games, record them as...
IGD: Padres @ Marlins (2 May 08)
May 03, 2008 by
Ducksnorts
| Comments
Padres (11-18) vs Marlins (15-13)
Justin Germano vs Mark Hendrickson
4:10 p.m. PT
Channel 4SD
AM 1090, FM 105.7, XM 184
MLB, B-R
The Padres continue to have a terrible approach when leading off an inning. Unfortunately, one of the worst offenders is leadoff hitter Brian Giles, who...
Everything in Its Right Place
April 24, 2008 by
Ducksnorts
| Comments
I couldn’t sit still on Monday. I can’t sit still a lot of the time, but on Opening Day it’s always worse. My nervous tics develop nervous tics.
I arrived downtown just after 4 p.m., wearing my Chris Young jersey, and toting my digital camera and scorebook. Mrs. Ducksnorts...
Padres Farm Report (14 Apr 08)
April 23, 2008 by
Ducksnorts
| Comments
Triple-A — Salt Lake 13, Portland 6
Matt Antonelli: 1-for-5, HR, E
Jody Gerut (RF): 2-for-5
Chase Headley: 2-for-5
Brian Myrow: 2-for-5
Will Venable: 1-for-4, BB, SB
Chip Ambres (CF): 1-for-5
Craig Stansberry (3B): 2-for-4, 2B, 2 E
Nick Hundley: 2-for-4
Luis Rodriguez: 4-for...
Padres Farm Report (21 Apr 08)
April 22, 2008 by
Ducksnorts
| Comments
Triple-A — Salt Lake 5, Portland 0
Matt Antonelli: 2-for-5
Edgar Gonzalez (1B): 1-for-4
Jody Gerut: 0-for-4
Brian Myrow (DH): 0-for-2, 2 BB
Nick Hundley, 1-for-4
Chase Headley: 0-for-4
Chip Ambres (CF): 1-for-4, E
Craig Stansberry: 0-for-1, 3 BB, SB
Josh Geer: 5.1 IP, 7 H, 3...
Your Predictions for 2008?
April 21, 2008 by
Ducksnorts
| Comments
From esteemed reader LynchMob comes this excellent idea for a post on the eve of Opening Day: “provide us with a list of questions which you want us, the commenters, to go ‘on the record’ with”; he then poses several questions, which you will find below.
This...
Storm Retire Peavy's Number
April 20, 2008 by
Ducksnorts
| Comments
After watching the Padres defeat Houston at Petco on Thursday afternoon (thanks to reader Lance for hooking us up with tickets), Mrs. Ducksnorts and I drove to Lake Elsinore to see the Storm’s opener for 2008. Before the game, the Storm retired Jake Peavy’s number 22....
IGD: Padres @ Giants (8 Apr 08)
April 20, 2008 by
Ducksnorts
| Comments
Padres (5-3) @ Giants (1-6)
Randy Wolf vs Tim Lincecum
7:15 p.m. PT
Channel 4SD
AM 1090, FM 105.7, XM 184
MLB, B-R
The Padres have outscored opponents, 17-6, over the first three innings of games this year. They've beeen outscored by the exact same number over the final three....
Singles Night
April 20, 2008 by
Ducksnorts
| Comments
Aggravating. Annoying. Bilious. Discouraging. Disheartening. Dispiriting. Exasperating. Frustrating. Infuriating. Irritating.
But enough about me, let's talk about the game. [rim shot]
I finally saw the team that everyone else seems to think the Padres are, the one that should...
The Year Jake Peavy Turned Hitters into Matt Walbeck
April 20, 2008 by
Ducksnorts
| Comments
I recently picked up the Bill James Gold Mine 2008. There’s tons of great stuff in here, as you’d expect, but two items in particular have captured my imagination (so far): the “record of opposing batters” James presents for certain pitchers, and the &ldquo...
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