LATEST STORIES FROM EXTRA PINE TAR

Gus Johnson, Soccer And Sports Heaven

With the life-altering news that Gus Johnson is being groomed to be the voice of the 2018 World Cup, the only thing left to contemplate is whether or not I should try to go into a five-year hibernation until the magical day arrives or whether I should simply put the 2014 World Cup on mute and use a Gus Johnson soundboard to get me through the tournament instead of kidnapping Gus...
Via Extra Pine Tar
February 05, 2013  |  Discuss

Say It Ain’t So

Come on. Seriously, come on. What the hell? It didn’t even look like anything when it happened. Suddenly there were whispers on Twitter of a possible serious Rondo knee injury. The MRI had been performed, but the results couldn’t be confirmed. What happened next made the whole thing seem even more surreal than it already was. For the first time in a long time for the sports world...
Via Extra Pine Tar
January 28, 2013  |  Discuss

Your 32 Team NBA Rundown: The East

The Boston Celtics have played 41 games so far this season. Each to a varying degree of mediocrity. Doc has failed to nail down the correct rotations and players that were signed to contribute consistently, well, don’t. All of that stuff we will get to, but the 41 game mark is an important one. It’s the halfway point of the season. You can really take a step back and get a...
Via Extra Pine Tar
January 24, 2013  |  Discuss

Still Chasing The Dragon

  “Chasing the dragon” refers to the elusive pursuit of the ultimate high in the usage of some particular drug. There’s a perception in this world that everyone has to enjoy the journey – the total experience – of doing something worthwhile. In any walk of life, we’re always advised to stop and smell the roses along the way, because they won’t always be there. Don’t...
Via Extra Pine Tar
January 23, 2013  |  Discuss

The Idiot Man Who Bought 10,000 Lance Armstrong DVDs Is Even Stupider Than He Sounds

Most people saw a bunch of Lance Armstrong DVD’s were available and said to themselves, “Why the hell would anybody ever buy those things? That man is a fraud and a one balled liar. We all know the secrets behind the success and they all came from a lab.” But Karl Baxter isn’t most people. Karl is a risktaker and a business man, so when he saw that he had the ability to buy...
Via Extra Pine Tar
January 21, 2013  |  Discuss

Trying To Make Sense Of The Nonsensical Te’o Story

I want to write about other things, like the impending NFL Conference Championship Games. I want to write more about how Lance Armstrong is a fraud, and he’ll go down as the biggest liar in sports, which is really quite an accomplishment if you think about it. I’d even like to write about the NHL season beginning tomorrow. But how can I? I can barely remember who the Patriots...
Via Extra Pine Tar
January 18, 2013  |  Discuss

Manti T’eo: Idiot, Sociopath Or Both?

There has been a lot to come out on Manti T’ao over the past day. In the blink of an eye he went from an All American boy to a possible relative of Patrick Bateman. If T’ao really was perpetuating a lie for his own personal gain, and common sense would say that he knew on some level, then the effect on his draft stock and future will be uncertain to say the least. I would like...
Via Extra Pine Tar
January 17, 2013  |  Discuss

Jared Sullinger’s Got Back

It’s time to make that playoff push. This is the point in the season where owners can get lazy and try to coast. Now is the time to hit the waiver wire hard and cut ties with those players you’ve been waiting on to come around (Deandre Jordan, Gerald Wallace, Marcus Thorton, Javal McGee) and snag a player who is on the rise.  You will start to see some rookies step up and earn...
Via Extra Pine Tar
January 14, 2013  |  Discuss

The All-Encompassing Quarterback Power Rankings

Everybody loves Power Rankings. You don’t realize it, but even your grandmother loves Power Rankings. Right now she’s looking over a college football bowl game Power Rankings column for the next few minutes instead of questioning whether or not every senior citizen actually should have Life Alert. That’s just the way it is now – everything is “Power Ranked.” Movies,...
Via Extra Pine Tar
January 10, 2013  |  Discuss

The Best High School Highlight Tape Ever

Move over Noel Devine! Don’t feel mislead by the title, this is the best recruiting video of all time. Right from the get go you’re thinking that he’s going to light somebody up on the kickoff coverage. Instead he gets blocked out of the way – by his own teammate. It’s amazing stuff. The whole video is just a series of Ryan Potter performing mundane tasks on the football...
Via Extra Pine Tar
January 09, 2013  |  Discuss

What Do You Mean Most Of Your Economy Relies On One Event?

I’m fully aware that the ballot this year wasn’t exactly stock piled with “first ballot” talent, especially when you consider that most of the first ballot talent that is going to come up over the next 10-15 years not named Pedro Martinez will have some kind of steroid allegation against them, but you couldn’t give poor little Cooperstown one player? I would love to know...
Via Extra Pine Tar
January 09, 2013  |  Discuss

Video Extravaganza!!

If you missed last week’s Video Extravaganza, you can find it here. Now, let’s get weird. 1. The NFL playoffs are here, so Jim Mora….anything to say? No Jim, we’re not kidding you. 2. Jadeveon Clowney made the single greatest defensive play we’ve ever seen – and that’s not an exaggeration. I’m sure you’ve seen it already, but it’s worth watching again. It blows...
Via Extra Pine Tar
January 05, 2013  |  Discuss

Constantly Checking Your Lineup? No Worries – It’s Only Natural

Think about how you weird you were when you were a kid. You’re always eating your boogers and touching your dick. I’ve still got a friend who does that… but who am I to judge? We all have our own little idiosyncrasies. His just happen to revolve around acting like nobody notices while he sneaks boogers into his mouth. Anyway, everything is instinctual when you’re a kid. You...
Via Extra Pine Tar
January 04, 2013  |  Discuss

What The Hell, Rex Ryan?

Instead of trying to make sense of any of this, or even being to explain it, I’m just going to ask questions right along with everybody else. Why would you be so trashy that you have a picture of your wife in a seductive pose wearing your favorite football team’s jersey? Why would you have Mark Sanchez’s jersey on a tattoo of your wife? He’s literally never been good. Did...
Via Extra Pine Tar
January 04, 2013  |  Discuss

Our First GIF: Joey Crawford Puts Up His Dukes

  It’s a little tough to see, but last night, during what might have been the unceremonious closing of the Celtics’ proverbial window, Joey Crawford thew up a jump ball down on the Grizzlies end. What happened next only Crawford could really explain. You can actually see Mike Connolly look at Crawford like “What the **** is that old man doing?” I guess you could say he...
Via Extra Pine Tar
January 03, 2013  |  Discuss

Uggie Urbina Still Throws 90, Still Attempted To Turn Workers In To Human Molotov Cocktails

Former MLB closer Ugueth “Uggie” Urbina was released from a Venezuelan prison five and a half years in to his 14 year sentence for trying to make his workers in to human Moltov cocktails and hacking them up with a machete, all because he thought they stole one of his guns. I’ve never been to Venezuelan prison, but I can imagine five and a half years probably felt like 14,...
Via Extra Pine Tar
December 27, 2012  |  Discuss

Video Extravaganza!!

If you missed last week’s Video Extravaganza, you can find it here. Otherwise, proceed and enjoy. 1. The Red Sox are close to acquiring Pirates closer Joel Hanrahan. Not familiar with Joel? Let MC Hammer enlighten you. 2. Since the Mayans used to play soccer with people’s heads, we think this qualifies as sports. Check out these loons getting ready for the Apocalypse.  3....
Via Extra Pine Tar
December 22, 2012  |  Discuss

Suzy Favor Is A Lady Of The Night, Also Regularly Speaks To Children

Suzy Favor is a name I never knew until I read the Smoking Gun’s story about how the former Olympian doubles as a Vegas prostitute in her spare time. I still don’t really know who she is because, like most of you, I don’t spend a lot of time watching “middle distance” events in the Summer Olympics, but I’m now starting to wonder if any one of my friends have ever slept...
Via Extra Pine Tar
December 20, 2012  |  Discuss

We Should Have Seen This Coming: A Look At The Impending Apocalypse

Sports Illustrated has been doing this forever, and even Deadspin has gotten in to the act of late, but just in case the world actually does end tomorrow I want to make sure that people know there’s a reason I’m already 500 feet below my basement floor in a panic room that would make Jodie Foster wet – I saw this coming. Sidenote: Jared Leto was also in Panic Room. Jared Leto...
Via Extra Pine Tar
December 20, 2012  |  Discuss

Back Down To Earth

If you pay close enough attention you’ll find that, just like the rest of the NFL, the Patriots are comprised of a whole bunch of humans. For all the blowouts and ridiculous stats that make them seem like unstoppable aliens at times, there are games – or halves, in the case of this past Sunday night – where they come back down to Earth. It doesn’t happen very often, which...
Via Extra Pine Tar
December 18, 2012  |  Discuss

Video Extravaganza!!

It’s Saturday and you know what that means!! ..waiting.. ..waiting.. Oh you don’t? It’s video extravaganza! Stop looking confused and just watch some videos, will ya? It’s better than watching the “Alamo Bowl” or whatever irrelevant game ESPN is showing in the middle of the day. 1. Ricky Rubio is back today 2. Jim Harbaugh’s 49ers are playing the Pats this Sunday night...
Via Extra Pine Tar
December 15, 2012  |  Discuss

The Sox Swing And Miss Again

I’m far from the first person to ask this question, but what was it exactly that kept the Boston Red Sox from doing what the Angels did in signing Josh Hamilton a very affordable $125 million deal on Thursday? If he’s a great fit in Los Angeles, then he’s a perfect fit in Boston. If the Angels wanted him badly, then the Red Sox should have wanted him more. He’s everything...
Via Extra Pine Tar
December 14, 2012  |  Discuss

You Can Barely Tell, Honey

Olympic skier, and resident tool, Bode Miller just wanted to have a nice day golfing with his new wife. Instead he smoked one off of a tree and right in to his blushing bride’s face. I’m told her face will heal, but as for her marriage? Well, that remains to be seen. Something she can’t do until the swelling goes down.
Via Extra Pine Tar
December 13, 2012  |  Discuss

Relax, “Psycho T”

Tyler Hansbrough comes off as such a fake tough guy. Here he is embarrassing the **** out of his younger brother. I’m sure Tyler has been sticking up for little brother since they were kids, but at some point don’t you have to let it go? Tristan Thompson didn’t mean to hit Ben here. He was just trying to create space and somebody about 8 inches shorter decided to walk around...
Via Extra Pine Tar
December 13, 2012  |  Discuss

Any Questions?

Tom Brady and the Patriots absolutely demolished the Texans on Monday night. Silencing any doubters about who the best team in the AFC is. The national media is also finally starting to recognize Brady in the MVP conversation. Better late than never, on both accounts.
Via Extra Pine Tar
December 13, 2012  |  Discuss
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